The Proverbs 31 Woman

As Christian women, we get beat over the head quite a bit by the epic "Proverbs 31 Woman." This amazing superwoman who has time for everything and everyone, and who makes her family a #1 priority all the time.

I've read many analysis and theories on this famed woman. Some say that this is "proof" from Scripture that the wife belongs in the home, and that any of the buying and selling she does comes from home-based businesses only. Another theory I read was that the whole chapter does not describe just one woman, but rather many different women, all doing whatever they are called to do - all glorifying God in their individual jobs.

Lately, I've struggled with a dilemma: as my husband and I are trying to start a family, I have wondered if the ministry is really where I need to be. I have friends and acquaintances who believe that a woman belongs at home with her kids. Period. I've wondered if I can possibly be a full-time children's pastor, a full-time wife, and a full-time mom. And whether or not I drop down to part time pay, I would still be a full time children's pastor. I believe very strongly that, if you're a pastor, you either are one or you aren't one!

I have received advice from many wonderful female friends who have raised or are in the process of raising kids in the ministry, and have begun to more closely observe other families and how they operate.

Still, that nagging voice in the back of my mind kept talking: What about the Proverbs 31 woman?

So I decided to take a look and read about her. If I'm going to be comparing myself to her, and making major life decisions based upon this Biblical model of womanhood, I should really refresh myself as to what the Bible actually says. Not what someone else says the Bible says. Not what someone read on the Internet that someone else said about it (and this goes for you, too, readers! Pick up your Bible and read about her yourself. Don't just take my word for it, because God has something that he wants to say to each one of you through this passage, just as he had something for me!).

As I read it, I began marking the passages that had to do with her working inside the home. Then I marked the passages that talked about her working outside the home. I also "sub-marked" verses that discussed her relationship with her family and her relationship with God. I am a big fan of marking up my Bible - hightlighting, writing questions, prayer requests, and answers to prayer in the margins. My husband is the exact opposite of me, because he says, "I was raised not to write in books." God created all kinds, I guess!

After I looked at my "handiwork," I realized that this passage talked more about her working outside the home than it referenced her staying at home. With praise and worship music playing in the background and tears springing to my eyes, I felt God say to me, "Don't you think I knew you were a woman when I called you?"

Duh. Like God mistakenly thought he was calling a guy instead of me when he told me he wanted me to be a children's pastor. And on that same token, he's not going to let me off the hook just because I start having babies. At the same time, he's going to give me the strength and all the resources I need to do everything he has called me to do. And to do it with excellence!

Be encouraged, woman in ministry! We may seem like we're few and far between, but that is the enemy's plan...to make us feel isolated. To make us feel like we're the only one dealing with the huge problem of reconciling our "femaleness" and all that goes with it with the call of God on our lives. You're not alone, there are others who feel the same, and most importantly, God is with you.

And like he told me, he knew you were a woman when he called you!