The Bachelor and Practical Chrisitanity?

I debated for a long time whether to post an article based on the reality television show The Bachelor. I didn't want to risk my credibility with you, the readers, or take any legitimacy away from "Take Root and Write." Many Christians consider The Bachelor bad programming and a lot of people in general think it's cheesy. Both groups have a point, but I'll admit I'm hooked. However, after pondering the show's usefulness in this column, I decided to take a chance. I hope you will not think less of me, but rather see the bigger picture that proves we can find lessons in practical Christianity everywhere...even in a secular TV show.

For those not familiar with the show, it follows a bachelor who is ready to get married through the process of  dating twenty five single women. All the ladies are vying for his attention and the chance to get engaged. In season 11, the bachelor, Brad Womack, seemed like a nice guy and I was hoping he'd find his soul mate during the course of the show.

On the season finale it was down to the last two girls and we all held our breath as we waited to see which young lady had captured Brad's heart. Jenni, a vivacious girl from Kansas, was the first to face Brad during the nail-biting episode. Unfortunately, even though Brad had developed feelings for her, she was devastated when he didn't pick her.

That left DeAnna, the southern girl. Since she was the last one standing, the audience knew she was his choice so the only question was: would he propose? Or would he feel more comfortable dating when the cameras stopped rolling? The fans were stunned when Brad didn't pick her either!

Rejecting both girls had never happened in the history of the show and Brad was publicly vilified for months because of his decision. Even though I was shocked by the outcome, I admired his honesty. He, and every bachelor before him, must have felt intense pressure to follow the status quo and pick a girl, as expected, on national TV. But, as far as I could tell, Brad made an honest (and difficult) choice and paid a hefty price. It probably would've been less controversial had he picked one of the girls and conveniently broken up later...after all, only one couple brought together on the show has "lived happily ever after." Most don't make it.

Honesty is a huge (and often difficult) part of practical Christianity. We can fool others, we can try to fool ourselves, but we can't fool God. He knows us better than we know ourselves. People, including Christians, tinker around with honesty every day and sometimes we even make promises only to turn around and break them. The more public a decision and the more unpopular the necessary honesty is, the harder it is to do the right thing. Brad and many like him know what I mean.

Several years ago I attended a Christian conference. The main speaker was a prayer warrior who prayed at least one hour every day. Her devotion to prayer had moved mountains in her life and she wanted every person in the audience to experience the blessings of an active prayer life. She encouraged the two hundred attendees to stand and make a vow to pray daily for an hour. Everyone in the room stood except me and a couple of other people. Although I believed in the power of prayer, I knew I wasn't spiritually mature enough to take that vow. But sitting while everyone else stood in commitment was one of the hardest things I've ever done.

I worried what all the spiritual people would think of me. I didn't want them to think I didn't appreciate prayer or love God. But, in all honesty, I wasn't about to make a vow I didn't think I could keep. I'm sure there were people ready to take that step, but I wasn't one of them. It would've been less embarrassing for me to go ahead and stand for the sake of appearances and renege later, but this was between God and me. Sure, I could have fooled those people standing around me that day, but I couldn't fool God. That thought is what gave me the strength to stay seated and believe me, it wasn't easy.

So, there you have it; my article based on The Bachelor. My prayer is that I haven't made a mistake and that you have not only seen honesty from a new angle, but that you will begin to find Christian principles in places you never expected.

(c)2008 Shona Neff

Comments

[Jill]

I don't think you should apologize for your choice in entertainment. TV gets vilified, but I think there are things to be learned from TV shows. I personally think shows that at first seem to be doing a good deed, such as Extreme Home Makeover, actually encourage over-the-top materialism. We used to think it was a good show to watch with our kids until they started making comments like, "I want a huge pickup truck like the one they got," and "Why can't we get a pool with a waterfall like they have?" Any message about helping others was obscured by the flashy stuff. As for the Bachelor, I actually got hooked on The Bachelorette with Deanna, the girl Brad rejected, and came to admire her straightforward approach and consideration for others' feelings.

[Shona]

Jill, thanks for the feedback. I wasn't sure how this post would be received, so at least I know one person, enjoyed it and I hope your not alone.

I never thought of Home Makeover like you mentioned it, but great point. And, oh my, wasn't the Bachelorette with DeAnna great! I'm with you, loved her honesty and the growth she displayed between the rejection and finding Jessie.

Lastly, glad to know I'm not the only Christian women hooked on that show.

[Venus]

I will admit I too watch the show more often than not. He did feel the wrath for being honest didn't he! I am curious to see if Deanna and Jessie will last as the only other couple that too came from the bachelorette and not the bachelor.
And yes on extreme makeover home edition, my kids make the comments too like "I wish they'd come build us a house!" It is sad when they really are trying to do a good thing but instead of making them more comfortable they make them rockstars.

[Shona]

Venus, welcome to our "Bachelor" club. It's amazing the perspectives that can come from different things. I also watch Survivor, sheepish look, but when my teense sit down and watch it with me, there are some really great lessons they can learn from watching those people.

I'm a real people watcher so I think that's why I'm so fascinated by realilty TV and the interactions between the contestants.

Thanks for sharing, Venus. I appreciate your feedback.