Anger - The Good and The Bad

The grieving process involves many different emotions. While it may be uncomfortable and even devastating to deal with all these emotions, it is a necessary part of the journey. Our Creator God designed us with emotions. Keep this in mind when they come flooding into your heart and life.

One of the most difficult emotions for many Christians to deal with is anger. Many of us have grown up with the mistaken idea that anger is a sin. Consequently, when anger comes - and it will - it can be a blow to your faith. But the Bible tells us that even our Savior was angry sometimes.

Mark 3:5 He looked around at them in anger and, deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts, said to the man, "Stretch out your hand." He stretched it out, and his hand was completely restored.

While feeling anger is not a sin, the Scriptures give us a directive concerning the KIND of anger we are to have. Biblical anger is a slow anger. A short-fuse type of anger is one that indicates someone who has not yielded their rights to the Lord. A hot-tempered individual is someone who wants to remain in control. James 1:19-20 tells us that a quick anger does not achieve the righteousness of God.

A word of caution: don't complicate your grieving journey by adding guilt for anger to the mix of emotions you are already trying to balance. The important issue concerning anger is what we do with it. The Bible tells us not to sin in our anger (see Ephesians 4:26). That puts the responsibility squarely on our shoulders. After all,we can make choices about our actions and our behavior. We can choose to take a walk instead of yelling at our best friend. We can choose to write in a journal instead of denying our emotions and letting the anger develop into a root of bitterness. The decision is ours.

 
So what about your anger? Who are you angry with? If you are like others who have experienced a great loss, you are mad at different people and situations at different time. Perhaps you're angry with God. Perhaps your angry with the person who died because they left you. Perhaps you're angry with the people surrounding the situation in which your loved one died. You have the power to redirect your anger to something more appropriate such as mourning. Go ahead and be mad at the grief. Identify your feelings and be honest about them. Tell God about them. He won't be surprised to hear it!

Here are a few journaling topics for the next couple of weeks.
1. What keeps you from asking God for help with your grief?
2.  Read Exodus 34:6. Describe the emotions that God has. Do you have these emotions?
3.  What kind of anger are you experiencing? Describe the situation or what triggered the anger.
4. Has your anger led you to sin? Describe it. What can you do differently?
5. What has been your greatest blessing this week?
6. What emotions have surprised you this week?
7. Write about three things you have learned on this journey.

YOUR GRIEVING TOOLBOX
The tools that are already in your toolbox are: j  ournaling, prayer walking and scripture meditation. The new tool I would like for your to add is helping someone else. Have you ever thought of this as a tool? I'm not talking about hours and hours of volunteer work. Simply look around you and see what someone in your life needs. Each day ask God what you can do for someone else. Would your neighbor like some tomatoes from your garden? Would the waitress at your neighborhood restaurant like a word of appreciation and encouragement? Would a young mother at church like some time to herself while you watched her baby? All of these things take your mind off of your  loss and puts you in the position of investing in someone else. This is what ministry is. This is how healing begins.

My dear friend, I pray that you will take your burdens, your grief and your anger and give them to Jesus who will, in turn, give your rest and peace in your soul. (Based on Matthew 11:28-30)