Surrendering Expectations

I remember turning thirty and not understanding what all the fuss about the milestone was about.  Reflecting on why I was at such peace, it hit me that the event was positive because in my mind, I was on target.  I had goals and they were all checked off.  The to do list called my life was a bunch of big fat check marks. 

Then I turned thirty-one.

That year and the seven years since have been for me, a toddler tantrum.  Life isn't going "my way."  My expectations and goals never included the reality of these things: a miscarriage, infertility, chronic illness of baby, terminal illness of parent, job transition, death of parent, family adjustment, move, marital adjustment with move, children health issues, depression, and acceleration into perimenopause due to polycystic ovaries and most likely, all the above.

What happened?

Life happened.

Not the life I planned, but life as God did.  The more I kick and scream and pout, "Woe is me", the longer wisdom and growth in Him takes.  I sense the message we're to focus on this month is about surrendering expectations.

It's not that goals are bad, but when we cling so tightly to the plan for our life that there is no room for the Lord to move, well that's not living abundantly.  He loves us so much, don't you want His best for you?

So how do you surrender expectations if goals aren't a bad thing to have?  For me, I am prayerful about my choices, my goals, even my to do list.  It's very easy for me to run ahead of God and the results are never pretty.  If you're facing a situation you didn't sign up for, go to God and tell Him.  Don't hide from Him, don't run past Him, run to Him.  Ask for His plan, His revelation, His wisdom.

Maybe the worst expectation you have is of yourself.  This held me back for years.  I set high goals for myself and typically met them.  I set high expectations for others and was devastated when they didn't come close.  What was missing?  Surrender. 

A great definition I was given about forgiveness is this: it's surrendering to the fact that person didn't meet up to your expectations. Think about anytime you needed to forgive.  Childhood issues, marriage, children, work relationships, family...all those instances when you forgave.  What were you really doing?  Surrender.  What else?  Letting go of expectations.

What's holding you back?  Lofty goals God isn't a part of?  A bar set so high for yourself you've put yourself in a corner?  Expectations so tall for everyone else they feel imprisoned, but the reality is, it's you who is the inmate?

It's time to let go.  It's a cliche, but let go and Let God.

Live free.

Seek Him first in all things, especially surrendering expectations.

And remember---it's a process.  Be easy on yourself, and others.

Even if you have to say over and over, "My definition of forgiveness is surrendering the fact you didn't meet my expectations."

Even if...you have to speak that in the mirror.

• 2 Corinthians 8:5 TNIV

  And they went beyond our expectations; having given themselves first of all to the Lord, they gave themselves by the will of God also to us.

I invite you to check out the social network, Christian Women Take Root, that includes over 250 women and multiple groups to fit your needs to grow in Christ.  One of the groups is Finding Freedom Through Surrender. The next month we'll have discussions on surrendering expectations, forgiveness, goals, and living free. Feel free to join in and/or start a discussion.

To learn my surrender story (ongoing of course), please visit my Take Root writer page.

Comments

[mid]

It's time to let go. It's a cliche, but let go and Let God.
This really spoke to my heart!! Thank you, Julie!!

Live free.

Seek Him first in all things, especially surrendering expectations.

And remember---it's a process. Be easy on yourself, and others.

[Jennifer]

Julie- this article is perfect timing in my life...surrender expectations. Funny thing, just yesterday I was thinking about the old, and sometimes over used, cliche "Let go and let God." I think I am only just beginning to truely grasp how to let go and let God. Better late than never I suppose. Ha.
Jennifer

[Kathy]

Thank you! Your article really hit home for me. I was thinking of all my own expectations of myself and others and how you're right...when our expectations are not met, we need to let go and surrender. We need to give it all to God, and we will be set free.