Grieving Children

Is there any doubt how much our Lord Jesus loved children? In the book of Mark, Jesus told the crowd to let the children come to Him and not hinder them. Then He took them in his arms, loved on them, hugged them and blessed them. He said we are to be more like children in the way we live our spiritual lives. With this in mind, imagine how His heart breaks when a child is grieving.

The grieving child is one that needs unconditional love no matter how they are dealing with their loss. They need acceptance and security in their lives. Children will be watching the adults around them to model a healthy grieving process to them. As they see us using our toolbox of grieving tools, they will learn that death and dying are part of the natural process of life. If we demonstrate hope for healing for our own broken heart, then they will recover with less difficulty.

Even though they might not be showing them, a child has feelings about their loss. Like most adults, their first response will probably be denial.The will need time for reality to sink in. It's also important at this time not to hide your own feelings from your child. Actually, you would probably be unsuccessful in your attempt to do so. Don't be surprised if your child becomes more "clingy". The truth is that your very presence will help them deal with their loss more than words. Sometimes just sitting with your arm around them is what they need.

However, there will also be a time for words. There will be questions about what happened and maybe even what it means to die. Answer all questions but avoid any information or gruesome details that might traumatize them. It's possible a child might blame themselves for their loved one "going away". Assure them they are not responsible and reaffirm this often. They may need to hear it several times before they believe it. When you are able to have a conversation, encourage your child to remember the good times with their loved one. Share your emotions with them and encourage them to share their feelings with you. If the child is young, you might need to help them identify their feelings.

Journaling Ideas

Today's journaling exercises are ones that can also be used with children. An older child could write in his own journal. A younger child could be encouraged to verbally answer these questions and talk about their feelings. A preschool child would benefit from paper and crayons to draw about what they are going through.

1.  Read Psalm 103:13.

    How does God feel about you?

    How does God help families?

    How does your family need God right now?

2.  Read Ephesians 2:4 and 1 John 3:1

    How much does the Father love you?

    Describe your relationship with God.

3. How is grief affecting your family?

Your Grieving Toolbox

The tool being added to today's toolbox is one that is especially easy and beneficial to children. This new tool is Making a Memory Book. Another name for this may be a Scrapbook or Memorial Book. Using a photo album, collect pictures of the loved one you have lost. Arrange them in an album being a creative and decorative as you would like. As you place each picture talk about your memories of that picture or use it as an opportunity to share those memories with the child helping you with the Book. This will be at treasure you will revisit for many years.

My dear friend, I pray that you will be anxious for nothing and that you will walk in prayer with God. May you present your requests before Him with thanksgiving so that the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will fill and protect your hearts and minds. (Based on Philippians 4:6-7)