Manners for Knowing When to Stand

*Don't miss the end of this article, where you have the opportunity to send me your own etiquette questions!

Manners for When to Stand. This is a good one-Practical and Savvy!

What are best practices for when a man should stand?
Should a woman stand to greet a man?
Do you need to stand each time someone at your table gets up, or just the first time?
Should you stand up if it's going to make those near you who've remained seated look bad?

Mmm It seems like it should be simple enough to know when politeness dictates you should stand and when you should remain seated. Not so. It was fairly straightforward fifty years ago, but etiquette evolves to meet the sensibilities and situations of the current generation.

With the changing roles of women in society and in the workplace, this area of etiquette has really been impacted. I've listed here guidelines that will let you know what's considered polite in various situations.

With these skills at hand you'll be able to rise to the occasion and interact with ease and graciousness as you greet colleagues, family members, and both new friends and old!

Why does it matter? What does it show?

Standing up sends a signal, from across the room, that you're willing and eager to greet and welcome the other person into your current situation.

Whether it's a social conversation, a business meeting, or a meal, without you having to say a word, it sends the message that you've noticed the person, and that he or she is worth you rising from your comfy sitting spot to spend time with.

What are the current best practices for when a man should stand?

· The first time a man or woman joins your group at business or social events. This could be at a dining table, at a boardroom table, near you at a reception or party, or even when someone joins your conversation in a private home or public area, perhaps the lobby of a hotel or convention hall.

· In a social setting, each time a woman joins or leaves your group. Yes, this does mean that if she goes to the bathroom four times, you have to stand eight times! (Note: This doesn't apply in workplace situations where you would stand just twice, first to initially greet her, and once when she departs.)

·       Socially and professionally, anytime someone enters your office (except perhaps an employee), anytime you're introducing yourself or being introduced, and whenever someone approaches you to talk.

·       Each time you shake hands.

·       Anytime you're saying, "Hello" or "Goodbye."

Should a woman stand to greet a man?

Yes!

This is where etiquette has really evolved. Our moms would not have stood to greet others (expect guests in their homes). No longer; in fact, Ladies, look at the rules above for men. They all apply equally to us, with the exception that we don't need to stand each time a woman joins or departs our table or group; stand only to greet her initially and then again when she leaves.

Should you stand up if it's going to make those near you who've remained seated look bad?

This is a question I'm asked by men in almost every professional etiquette seminar I present. It shows a consideration on their part for the feelings of the men around them who don't stand when their own wife or date leaves or returns to the table.

The best thing to do is to stand whenever a woman leaves the table the first time. If her husband or date made no attempt to stand, then I wouldn't recommend standing to greet her when she returns.

Standing the first time makes you chivalrous. Twice or more makes you seem preachy, but not in a good way!

Mmm_2 Submit Your Ideas for future Monday Morning Manners!!

Everyone who shares an idea will be entered to win a $50 American Express ® Gift Card. Please keep your ideas coming! You can join in by e-mailing me here at: Maralee@EtiquetteAnswer.com.
In time for holiday shopping, our winner will be announced the first Monday in December. Here are some of the ideas that have come in...

Invitation dress codes-what to wear so you're perfectly dressed for your next social event.
How to deal with the infamous e-mail forwarder in your midst.
Expressing verbal condolences and congratulations.
When to interrupt a conversation and when to walk on by.
Keeping in-laws and others from saying things in front of your children that you don't want them to hear.
Cell phone and texting manners for your teens.
Children's birthday parties with ease.
Table etiquette in time for Thanksgiving.