The Enforcer
Do you ever feel like The Enforcer? Do you ever tire of repeating house rules, reminding children of appropriate behavior, and replacing springing bottoms in timeout spots? If you are a living, breathing human being then I'm pretty sure you answered yes to all of the above...it seems to come with the parenting territory. As Marriage From a Distance (MFAD) moms we can feel the overwhelming and exhausting reality of this "enforcer" position for extended periods of time. Especially before any help (aka our husbands) comes to assist us.
I want to encourage you not to forget to use natural consequences when ever possible. Many times natural consequences scream louder than us and leave a longer lasting impression on those little minds. Let the natural consequence be the bad guy and do the teaching rather than us over-loaded mamas. I'd like to share a real example of a natural consequence and how it did the teaching rather than me.
A couple of weeks ago I needed to run a quick errand. My six year old son chose to play around while my three daughters were ready to go when I was. My son had no shoes on, was wearing a pair of shorts, and no jacket. Did I mention there was an inch of snow on the ground? I had a choice to make: nag the boy, again, causing increased stress and frustration or let the consequences do the teaching. I chose to go natural. This "mean mama" made her darling little boy walk to the van barefooted, in shorts, and without a jacket.
Now, as Paul Harvey would say, "Here's the rest of the story". Several days later we had another errand to run in the cold weather. We went through the same scenario of informing the kids while they had plenty of time to prepare to leave. As I was getting myself ready I heard my son telling his little sister, who was trying to get him to play, "We need to get ready to go. You know what will happen if we don't have our shoes on." Needless to say, that day everyone was completely ready to go when I was. Learning occurred naturally!
I challenge you to give natural consequences a try. It will help take some of the stress off of the extra responsibilities you have as a MFAD mom. If you would like a little more information on letting consequences do the teaching on all of your children (take note that I did say all of your children from the little ones to teens...and even your husband!) then check out the Love and Logic website.
I invite you to drop by the MFAD discussion and share any natural learning comments, experiences, or questions. Let's encourage each other!
And now a word to (enforcer) parents: don't keep on scolding and nagging your children, making them angry and resentful. Rather, bring them up with the loving discipline the Lord himself approves, with suggestions and godly advice. (Ephesians 6:4 TLB) Parentheses and bold mine.
Sadly this does not always work on teenagers ahhhh!
Posted by: Venus | March 13, 2009 at 02:30 PM