Forward By Choice

Christmas 1985, my brothers, their wives and children all gathered at my apartment for dinner and good conversation. What they didn't know until the end of the gathering was it became a going away party as well. I announced that I was leaving Utah. You should have heard the gasps of shock and amazement.  Their faces were something akin to telling that I had an incurable disease. There were no congratulations, no questions asked what I would be doing or why the decision. It was an automatic denial through expressions. Their reaction was certainly not anything close to what had been expected.

So many of my friends had left the state with encouraging fanfare because they were moving on with life, searching for their place on the planet, and a future that they had planned. What was the difference between my friends and my situation? Simply fear and the spirit of control that I hadn't realized were long standing characteristics of our family makeup.

Have you noticed certain family behaviors that don't fit with your way of thinking? Or do you go along so not to cause any friction, even though you're not going in the direction your heart is nudging you? It is often a very delicate and troublesome choice.

My brothers, both of whom had been to many countries, traveled both in the military and for their church told me that I would not be able to survive out in the world. What a joyful experience I would have missed had I allowed others to think for me, confine me to a particular culture or thought pattern.

A successful woman, if called to be a leader will make her path, not wait to hitch a ride on somebody else's star waiting for her time to shine. Count the costs, get the necessary education or whatever together, and then go for the gold of your passion. The journey is the payment for living the life you dream.

For years I had a world map on the wall of my office. One of my desires, for some unknown reason, was to go to New York City, another to London and to Africa. At the time, God was not a known in my life, it was just simply something I felt deep in me. But God knew me, and planted a passion to travel, to teach, and to be more than what my culture would allow.

To become a successful woman, we become comfortable in our size, shape, thinking, and actions. We learn from others, but don't have to duplicate them. Good role models are essential in success. Have you found those in your life that will help you obtain your dreams and goals? Be inquisitive, ask others that you admire how they did whatever attracts you. Ask for suggestions, and leads to get to the next level in your development. A real leader is never intimidated when somebody asks for direction; they're more likely to be thrilled that they can give you some direction and encouragement.

Not to long ago, we held a discussion group of mothers, working mothers, corporate managers, and women in ministry. It was wonderful to let them speak freely about what was important to them, how successful they felt, what they would change, and would they make the changes. Some of these women held more than one of the "titles". The common denominators were these: Each liked where they were in  their choices, but found that it had not been easy in the beginning and had to grow into the person they had become.

What is the agreed upon reason they were successful women? They each found passion after they got involved in their choices. It wasn't always there in the beginning, but passion came with anticipation and action. They had become successful by moving "forward by choice".

This week, be encouraged to make a list of the things you are involved in. Are you there by choice and do you have passion to continue? If there are any "no's" in the answer column, find out why. Make a choice if anything can be changed or even eliminated. Do some relationships need to be examined? Be kind to yourself, you deserve to be the successful woman God created you to be.

Love and hugs,