Surrender the Setbacks

We're about eight weeks away from Take Root and Write's first anniversary.  In the last few months we've surrendered words, our past, failure, and goals just to name a few.  Anytime we take a stand through surrender, there comes another type of surrender: setbacks.

My personality tends to be all or nothing.  When I suffer a setback, I want to chuck the whole thing.  The truth is, setbacks are part of the surrender process.  We need to embrace them, surrender them, and let God work.

What are some common setbacks we might face?

Wellness. We understand how our bodies are a temple.  We want to treat what God's given us with respect.  We surrender the donuts, the ice cream, and pray for strength to get up early for exercise.  One sick child and four freezing cold mornings later, we're ready to put in an IV of chocolate and the treadmill is where we hand our coats.  It's not only a setback, it's a sit down and stop.  It's a difficult set back because the enemy is right there whispering about how you failed. I know for me it feels like a vicious cycle.  I had a setback, I feel like a failure, I skip another workout because I feel like a failure! 

Parenting.  How many times do we ask for forgiveness because we yelled at the kids?  Perhaps you are bothered by the negative words we hear coming out of our own mouths.  Our hearts are in the right place, we truly want to improve.  I can't count the times I've been praying to be better and then yell at the kids for interrupting my prayer time!  It's a devastating setback.

Our past.  Facebook has done a number on my surrender of days and deeds gone by.  I surrendered the anger I carried in high school only to meet up with high school classmates.  I am immediately transported by feelings I wasn't good enough and harbored grudges against situations I had no control.  Catching up with college friends reminded me how low my self esteem was and willing to do whatever for attention.  My adult years felt like slow and steady progress.  Forgiving, letting go only to face memories and there they are, the feelings rush back.  It's a setback in the making and running away isn't a mature option.

Goals. Maybe there is a tangible list that has your dreams.  A list you went to God and gave Him and felt this was His list for you. The list is weathered and goals shattered.  You not only don't have that job and title, you might be looking for a job.  Perhaps you saw your life as a wife and mom and reality isn't close to the dream.  That novel is still a work in progress.  Worldwide travel goals thanks to the economy reduced to a "stay-cation."  These are setbacks we have no control of for the most part, outside circumstances (and of course God's perfect will) dictate the true dream.  For many, not seeing the goals as envisioned feels like a terrible setback and a cruel joke.

Marriage.  There are a group of ladies at Christian Women Take Root taking part in The Love Dare.  We surrendered the forty day reading schedule and agreed this is a challenge we will take at His pace.  The Dares are difficult in part because the Lord brings up issues we need to settle in our hearts and marriage.  We are digging our heels in and trusting Him.  Setbacks are a constant theme.  For me, weekends where I don't move forward with the reading so I can absorb the week and really apply what I read seem like a big game to see how fast I can open my mouth and reverse every good thing I learned.  I bristle at his words even though I just read about loving him no matter what.  We go to our husbands in pure obedience to either face harsh winds or deafening silence.  I think I speak on behalf of most of the ladies that I never thought about the setbacks and the constant temptation to give up.  This is another big area where the devil relishes in reminding us how we missed the target.

Reading all the ways to fall down and out, it seems hopeless, right?  Take heart.  With Christ, all things are possible---especially the setbacks.  Here are things to think about and apply when you suffer a setback, and you will.

1.  Go to God first . . . not your friends in hopes of a pity party in your honor.  Not the fridge or the cookie jar.  Let Him know you fell and ask Him to lift you up and carry you every step of the way.  He longs to hear your cry for help, surrender the shame and pride and reach out.  He's waiting with agape love for you.

2.  Don't dwell on the warfare aspect of the surrender process.  Sometimes we get so caught up in the devil we forget nothing happens on his agenda that doesn't get the approval of Our Dad first.  The devil's real name is the defeated one, don't forget that.  The failure isn't you by a long shot.  Yes, evil exists and we need to be aware, but don't forget your focus, especially in a setback. You have as much power in you because of Christ that He had on Resurrection Day.  Let that sink in and embrace it.  Embrace Him.

3.  Surrender the all or nothing mentality.  As my dad said, "You have to get back on the horse."  There are going to be days when you goof up the minute your feet hit the floor in the morning.  It happens.  Don't give up the day, give up the setback, give it to Him, and move forward.

I hope this encourages you in the surrender journey.  I must confess in the time it's taken me to write this article I've had a bowl of ice cream I wasn't hungry for and yelled at each kid, including what I call a "word curse" on one of them by saying they were bad instead of they made a bad choice.  Setback city!  I praise God for His grace.  May this verse in the context of setbacks encourage you:

I am dark but lovely. (Song of Solomon 1:5 NKJ)