Redefining That "To Do" List

You may not be old enough to remember Linda Carter, the tall, very buxom, hourglass-figured brunette who was mild-mannered and soft-spoken in her daily life. At crunch-time though, she became a super-woman with a belt, a shiny headpiece, and super powers! Wow! What I wouldn't have given to look like her, let alone have any one of those super powers!

Of course, it was a fantasy show, meant to be entertaining--a way of escaping the hustle and bustle or the boredom and dreariness of our daily lives. It was meant to be, I imagine, a "women's power" statement as well. I don't know if men were the creators of that program, but I do remember thinking woman really do know what it is like to live two such different lives with grace and strength--manifested in such divergent ways.

For women, juggling roles is an everyday fact of life. Everyday, we are business women, wives, mothers, daughters, sisters, and friends! Yes, men have many roles too, but for some reason God decided they only needed (or could handle?) one role at a time. More than I might ever have been envious of Wonder Woman, I am envious of many mens apparent ability to compartmentalize their lives. The men I know are able to be fully present 'in the moment' without the multiple roles they play interfering or distracting them from the task at hand. That's a quality that I don't see so often in other women -- and especially in myself!

Your child's class needs a room parent. The school needs a PTA board member. Your church needs volunteers. Your boss needs you to work overtime. Your spouse needs your time and attention. Your children need . . . well they need a lot. How about you? What do you need? Speaking for myself, the first thing I need is to make a list of what I need.

I know one of the top things on the list is more time with God--just Him and me. Another thing near the top is some time alone--really alone for several hours at a stretch. A third "near-the-top" item is to figure out what in the world God needs and wants me to do for Him.Then I need to make a list of everything that is expected, desired and demanded of me and figure out how each item lines up with God's desire and plan for my life.

When my first child was born my mom predicted I would never have a good night's sleep the rest of my life! Yikes! Well . . . she was partly right. Throughout those early years I worked full-time outside the home; I certainly slept far fewer than the recommended seven hours a night. Actually, it has been years since I consistently slept more than five or six hours a night!

Why is that? Well . . . I've been a wife, mom, friend, sister, daughter, PTA board member, scout leader, softball and Little League team parent, civic association board member, community volunteer, Sunday school teacher, and the list goes on and on. Sound familiar?

All the studies I read say long-term sleep deprivation causes stress. They also say stress causes sleep deprivation. In fact, one article talks about the danger of this vicious cycle as a "double-whammy." Sleep deprivation and stress both can cause forgetfulness, irritability, and emotional highs and lows. If one already has a physical or mental disorder, sleep deprivation only adds to the symptoms. Talk about a perfect storm for trouble.

So how can we move from the sleep-deprived, stressed-out woman we are today to the woman we hope to become--the woman God desires us to be? First, we must learn to care for ourselves and to have our needs met. If we aren't healthy physically, emotionally and spiritually, we can't take care of the others in our lives and we certainly can't become that amazing woman God envisions!

First, we need to focus on meeting some of our own spiritual needs. One way could be to block out time in your day-timer--thirty minutes, two mornings a week: meet with God. Write it down. Don't break it!

Then we need to simplify our lives. Start by getting rid of some of your stuff. Pick one day a month when you go through the house with a bag or basket and fill it up with items you're ready to give away. Don't wait! Go to Goodwill right away. Now . . . can the church function without your showing up every night of the week? Be honest!

Eat dinner as a family two nights a week. You'll be amazed what you learn about your children and spouse. Take a walk. Sit on the deck, fill up the wading pool and dip your feet. If the kids find you and want to swim--all the better! And yes, you can take a bubble bath at 11:00 p.m.

Be gentle with yourself. Pray. Ask God to guide you in your quest. Like Linda Carter, we each can dress to be a Wonder Woman. Our apparel though, like each of us, is divinely designed.

"Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with with you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the world of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests" (Ephesians 6:13-18 NIV).