You Already Mean It From Your Heart

"I mean it from my heart." It's a sweet sentiment, full of earnestness and sincerity.  A way to express that you are not just saying something lightly. But did you know that everything you say is already from your heart? That's not always a comforting thought, but it's true.

Have you ever wished you could take back what you just said? Do you sometimes wonder, "where did that come from?" before the final syllable is even out? Our words are powerful tools that can either build up or tear down, and whether we like it or not they mainline straight from our heart. Sometimes it's easy to laugh about it, but too many times the result is painful wounds from words that cannot be retracted or erased; even by apology.

Can you imagine a world where we never said the wrong thing, or ever said the right thing the wrong way? A place where every one of us showed constant courtesy and respect to each other no matter how frustrated we were? It sounds like a eutopia! There are so many times when I'm crabby or tired and I snap at my family and I wish so badly afterward that I would have remained sweet and calm and kind. When I think about it I set out to remain in that state, but when I get stressed, there's no time for thinking and whatsoever state I'm in is what comes out.

 Our pastor has been doing a series on Marriage and Family this month. Last Sunday he played a humorous video clip preceding his lesson. The video, which you can preview at www.sermonspice.com depicted a family who were all wearing what they called Virtual Family Voice Transcoders. The video touts that the latest gadget to solve your family problems is now here! Just put it on and any and all negative words are translated into phrases that edify your family.They even have a solution for negative body language! The transcoders looked similar to little painting filter masks and speaking into them allowed the family members to say whatever they wanted and it would be filtered and translated for them in a congenial way. The dad can be seen explaining to his friend, "No matter what I say, no matter how negative it is, this little gadget will  make it positive and amplify it."  When his wife is seen "reminding" him to take out the trash, his response of, "get off my back, I'll do it when I'm good and ready!" comes out of the transcoder as, "Thanks for the reminder, I neglected to do that and I will remedy the situation at my earliest possible opportunity."

While I would probably be highly suspicious of my husband's state of mind if he answered me at either end of that spectrum, I do think we can all benefit from filtering our words. Especially because I recognize some of that wife's exasperated demeanor!  But what exactly does filtering our words entail?

Initially it would seem that filtering our words would require a lot of parsing. I can tell you first hand that that approach is tiring and does not work with teen-aged daughters anyway. That does not give us license to just let it fly and say whatever comes to mind, certainly. And although having a transcoder sounds heavenly, I don't foresee that software available in reality anytime soon. So how do we find a balance?

As I was thinking and praying about this subject, the scripture found in Philippians 4:8 kept coming to my mind. In that verse Paul tells the saints to think on things that are true, honest, just, pure, lovely and of a good report. I resisted it at first because the subject for this post is not about what we're thinking, it's about what we're saying. Then I remembered something I've been taught all along, the connection between what we think in our hearts and what we say. 

Matthew tells us that the things that come out of our mouth originate in our heart. (Matthew 12:34; 15:18 KJV) We know that it is not our physical heart muscle in reference there, but it is our mind and spirit. What we put in, is what will eventually come out. 

Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary explains it in terms of our heart being the fountain and our words being the streams.  He says a troubled fountain and a corrupt spring will bring forth muddy waters and unpleasant streams. The only way to clear up the stream is to clear up the fountain; if we clear up our hearts, we clear up our words. What better way to clear up our hearts than to meditate on the Word and whatsoever things are true, honest, just, pure, lovely and of a good report?

Our hearts are desperately wicked to begin with (Jeremiah 17:9, KJV), so we have our work cut out for us. The tables are turned against us and the odds are not naturally in our favor, but by filling our hearts with things that are true, honest, just, pure, lovely and of a good report, we can tip the scales. Then it's not such an issue to worry about what we say because the fountain will be full of good things, so the streams will be pure. We can have our own virtual family voice transcoders built right into our hearts!

Comments

[Jasmine Cucuta]

I was thinking of taping my mouth the other day. Would this work? Seriously, thank you for the post. We all need to be reminded of the power of our words. The power to speak life to ourselves and others is truly an art to be learned.

Again, Jenn, thank you.

[Jenn Harpole]

Well, they do make duct tape in pretty colors now. ;)

I'm glad to hear that someone else could relate to this as much as me.

We'll just keep striving to get it right... one interaction at a time.

[Sherri]

Indeed....Mat 15:18 But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man.

[lindy]

I totally understand this one. There are a few ugly comments I told my husband in the last few days that I wish I could burn up, but the only hope I have is that His grace is sufficient and my husband will apply His grace to remove the hurtful words. For that I am blessed.

[Jenn Harpole]

Yes Sherri ~ His grace *is* a blessing! Thank God for it, right?!