Got Boys?

 Melanie Young recounts an incident that was one of her defining moments in understanding boys and their behavior.
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"I will never forget one day many years ago when we stopped on a long road trip to visit old friends. Our oldest, then about six, piled out of the van, yelled hello at his friends, and in just a jiffy was rolling around on the ground wrestling with them. I couldn't understand it! I shouted for my husband, "Hal, Hal! What are they doing? Is this normal behavior for boys?' He reassured me that it was. I then began to realize that there were things going on here that were foreign to me!"

Six sons and years later, Melanie has gained much knowledge from her experiences in raising boys, and now with her husband Hal, have a ministry to help others with their sons. 

Joan: Melanie, tell us how you started in your  ministry to others raising boys.

Melanie: God has blessed us with six sons and two little girls- who are the youngest. The Lord has driven us to His Word and to wise counsel again and again as we've discipled our children. Over the years, we've studied the Word of God, books on boys, and lots of very old books that describe boyhood in earlier days and we've come to the conclusion that boys are different because they are made to be - and that's a good thing!

Several years ago, someone asked us to do a workshop on raising boys at a homeschool conference. We were surprised to find a standing-room-only crowd waiting for us. The Lord greatly blessed our talk that day and every time we have spoken on this topic since the room has been packed out. It became obvious to us that there is a desperation among God's people to know what to do with their boys.

Joan: What do you see is a problem in our society with raising boys today?

Melanie: Our culture is very confused about gender. Too often, we only value women when they act like men and men when they act like women. Our boys are growing up in a society that doesn't value the masculine characteristics that God has designed into them. Can you imagine growing up knowing your parents and teachers wanted you to be different than you are? Boys today need to know what God has made them to be and they need to be taught how to submit their masculine characteristics to God.

Joan: I agree. So much in society tries to neutralize as if to create a genderless society, when God created male and female with different characteristics on purpose. You have a new book called Raising Real Men: Surviving, Teaching and Appreciating Boys. Why would someone need to know about these three things?

Melanie: It's sad, but the majority of the time when folks find out we have six sons, their response is pity, "You poor thing!" I always respond with joy and happiness in our boys because I know that our sons are a gift of God, but I also understand that raising sons is hard - particularly in our culture.

Most mothers these days are very unprepared to deal with the differences between girls and boys when they are being told that there are no differences! If there aren't any differences, why are they so loud and aggressive? Why do they love dirt? Why do they love building huge towers and knocking them down more than coloring a pretty picture?

It seems most moms' highest goal is to survive their sons. We want to give them to tools to not only survive, but thrive. One way to do that is to learn how boys learn and what's important to them and how we can teach them - teach them academics, yes, but also manners, civilization, how to be a man, and most importantly how to serve God. By learning to value the manly virtues and to understand that God has made their sons for a purpose, we hope they'll begin to appreciate boyhood and to take joy in raising young warriors for Christ.

Joan: Though I've only raised girls, I can relate to what you're saying, because I've known mothers who had that goal to 'survive' their sons Growing up with four brothers, I understand how boys can sometimes be overwhelming. So do you hold workshops, speak at conferences?

Melanie: Hal and I speak separately and together to churches, ladies and men's groups, homeschool support groups and conventions. We speak on a variety of subjects including family relationships (strengthening your marriage, bulk cooking to save time and money, preparing your young children for learning), many homeschool topics (such as homeschooling high school, teaching a range of ages, getting into college, etc,) and of course, raising sons.

  We are now also available to do Raising Real Men Weekends for churches and groups; a time of refreshment, encouragement and practical help to raise godly young men. You can find out more about our speaking at our Raising Real Men website. We pray that Raising Real Men would empower parents to rejoice in the masculinity of their sons and train them to resist sin and self and to serve the Lord wholeheartedly. Our world needs real Christian men.

Joan: You are so right! We need more godly men in our world today--those who will be God's standard- bearers and not be ashamed. What is your contact information?

Melanie: You can read a sample chapter of the book, check out the table of contents and pre-order Raising Real Men at our website RaisingRealMen.com.  We also have a wonderfully interactive Facebook page, full of interesting links, advice, conversation and even contests at http://facebook.com/raisingrealmen  We'd love for you to fan Raising Real Men!  We can be contacted personally at authors [at] raisingrealmen.com