The Edge....
"I have had enough, LORD, take my life; I am no better than my ancestors"(1 Kings 19:4-5 NIV).
Did you know it's possible to have friends and family that love you and yet be alone? Do you know what it is to experience without a doubt, God moving mountains and parting waters on your behalf, and still feel like giving up? Do you know what it is to be wandering around and not knowing which way to go? You just stay on the path and hope a turn is coming up somewhere.
Beautiful One, you are not alone.
The edge is a place that many speak about. Many have said, "I am on the edge of a breakthrough!" However, others know the edge of no return. Life as we knew it, is gone. To go backwards would set us back. To just stop would paralyze us. And, to keep going would send us into the abyss of the unknown.
When you've reached the edge, you have experienced so many losses that you don't even care about winning. You just accept that is your portion in life and you eat spoonfuls of misery. And while something deep inside your soul groans, your heart is screaming don't give up!
Maybe all who said they would be we with you have walked away from you. Where did they go? In your time of need, not one person has stuck around. No one understands the magnitude of your pain, fear, and disappointment. Have people heard about your anguish, and judged you without knowing all the details? Have others watched your downward spiral while standing by and doing nothing to help cushion the blow?
Beautiful One, maybe this has happened to you? There are things that we will walk through that at the time make no sense to us. These events can cause a lot of confusion, disarray, and disappointment. It's not that we don't belong to God; we do. He is with us, He loves us, and we most certainly love Him.
Sometimes life can seem cruel. As Christians we have this mindset where we think if we prayed, or someone laid hands on us, then our problems should disappear. We think that if we read the Word, we will know exactly what to do and when.
We encourage people to just have faith and everything will be alright, but we forget that sometimes things don't get better right away. Sometimes things melt away over time, and sometimes we get stuck. It takes us longer than we'd like to find our way through.
I am amazed at the people who hear of someone's hardship, and yet, instead of talking to them, they talk with others. People think they have all the facts, but in their blindness some people just don't know how to help us. Therefore, they don't even try. Beautiful One, it would be nice if when confronted with tragedy and crisis if others would reach out. But the fact is, sometimes it just doesn't happen. Yes, it's hurtful and unfair. And yes, now you have to sift through even more emotions because we tend to isolate ourselves even more and grow bitter.
Well, I'm here to tell you: Don't you dare let that happen!
No matter how bizarre, painful, or embarrassing the events are that you are dealing with, don't you dare give up. Never, never, give up! At the end of the day, we all have to go to God anyway. He is the only One who knows all the facts and He is the only one who can heal our broken heart. And as far as I know, He is the only One who can give us back double for our trouble while redeeming the time!
At the end of the day, when all the mistakes have been made and words have been said, God will surely be there to pick us up, dust us off and help us to keep going. When it is all said and done, we may even realize that our loneliness was a gift by keeping pseudo-well wishers from speaking to us.
If you have reached the edge take that final step knowing that you are about to walk into something more wonderful than you've ever known. And be sure of this, God will be there to guide, carry, and catch you on the other side. Maybe He'll be the only one, but so what. I can't think of anyone better to go off the edge with, can you?
Beautiful One, just believe.
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