Breaking the Cyle of Abuse - Part 3

Breaking the cycle of abuse is one of the most important responsibilities of a survivor. It is critical and godly work to stop the sinful cycle of family abuse that often exists in the spiritual realm as a generational curse. You may not find status, financial wealth, career bliss, or other worldly measure of success, but you can and must press into God with a tenacious heart that will not let go until God breaks the cycle of abuse.

Speaking from personal experience, sometimes it can feel like you are trying to turn the Titanic 180 degrees, in slow-motion style, away from the iceberg it is about to hit. It will not be an easy life and you will learn again and again to repent, die to self, and claim each victory for the Lord. But, it is through being so needy that you will also succeed and grow deeply with God.

If someone along the way promised you a life that would be 'happily ever after', they lied. Especially if it was promised by someone trying to convince you to become a Christian and have all your problems dissolve into blessing from above. Just like many Cinderella stories, it sounds nice and hopeful, but it just isn't reality. Chances are you will suffer; sometimes even more intensely in this world if you are living a life surrendered to God.

In part one of this series, I wrote about repentance. It is through a repentant heart that we are forgiven by God and receive everlasting life with Him. In part two of this series, I wrote about forgiveness. After we have been given the gift of forgiveness, we have to understand the freedom experienced in forgiving our abuser. And this article, part three, is the final one of this series on three steps to take to begin breaking the cycle of abuse. This article will address the life-changing step of surrender!

Surrender! The white flags are raised! The war is over. One side has given up; determined that they can no longer survive the fight. The only way to remain alive is to surrender. We, too, are in a battle! Survivors of abuse have been inflicted with great wounds and daily living can be a vicious battle of one's will. But who are you fighting and to whom should you surrender?

"Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not fight against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hots of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. (NKJV, Ephesians 6:11-13)

What does God's Word say? You are fighting against the evil one, the devil! You are never to surrender to him. God tells you to stand, to be strong in Him and in the power of His might! So if you are in battle with Satan, who has been trying to destroy you your entire life through abuse and now through the effects of abuse, to whom are you to surrender and why?

You are to surrender to God. The battle is His. You see, by surrendering to God you are ensuring that you will have victory in life. You will no longer be Satan's victim. You are not strong enough to fight Satan alone. He has been beating you all of your life. It is time to surrender to God's will, His battle plan. One of God's names is Jehovah Nissi, The Lord is My Banner. God will go before you in the battle. He will direct you and lead the war banner in the battle, if only you will surrender to Him.

Remember, you may not be strong enough to fight Satan, but greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world. This truth can only be functionally true in your life if you are allowing God, Who is in you to guide, direct, and protect you. Surrendering is coming to a point in life that you realize God is better than you. His plans are better for you than your own. His will for you is perfect. And without a doubt, He knows what steps you are going to have to take in order to be healed from the abuse and trauma, and to break the cycle of abuse in your family!

In a practical sense, surrender means that every day you will wake up and give your heart to Him. Out of your love for Him, you will listen for (and hear) what He has planned for your day. You will read His Word daily to grow closer to Him. It is a continual journey of learning to know and understand Him more deeply. When you come to a choice in your day, you will take time to talk your decision over with God. As you mature in your daily walk, some decisions will become natural because you know God and His ways. When you live a surrendered life, you will always be open to hear God speak, and you will desire to please Him, learning how to live with an obedient heart that desires to follow Him.

The victorious life of a Christian is not a life on 'easy street,' but it is full of grace, empowerment, and authentic relationships to help you never again live in an abusive home! In Him you also have hope in knowing that one day in heaven you will be walking with your Father God down His streets of gold. Recovery from an abusive and traumatic past is very difficult, but it helps to keep your focus on what in life is truly eternal.