What are the Personalities of the Kids you are Teaching? - Part 2

Let's continue our look at the personalities you are teaching in your home! We talked about Cholerics and Sanguines last time. Now, let's look at the melancholy and phlegmatic personalities.

Matt & Meagan Melancholy

Matt and Meagan like to sleep in because they stayed up late last night writing a brand new song or story. Melancholy personalities tend to be extremely gifted and talented, though often insecure about their abilities.They often focus on what they can't do, rather than what they do well. They will complete a project that looks absolutely perfect to you and dissolve into tears because of some invisible flaw that only they can see.

Idealistic is the word that comes to mind when I think of my melancholy friends. They are often perfectionists who think that something worth doing is worth doing well. (I agree!) But, they will take this to an extreme so that if something isn't done perfectly, it is unacceptable. This makes it difficult for them to try new things that they are not gifted at such as sports, singing, playing an instrument, math, art, driving a car, babysitting, or really anything. They will procrastinate because they fear failure.

My Katie Beth is a melancholy with a touch of phlegmatic and choleric thrown in (may it was really "built in" due to her being the oldest child with a sanguine mother!). Katie Beth thrived in her homeschool days with a routine, schedule, and clear, detailed instructions for everything. Boundaries gave her security and she needed to know exactly what was expected of her. Because she was harder on herself than I was, I always heaped plenty of praise on her for all her hard work. She hated any kind of change in our routine. One day when I (being a sanguine!) noticed that the sky was exceptionally blue and decided to take a day off school to go to the beach, Katie Beth fled to her room in tears. "Why are we changing our schedule?" she wanted to know. I was baffled. Why would anyone NOT want to do something fun instead of schoolwork? (You can now see that personalities can collide in our home schools!) 

After completing her high school American History class, Katie Beth came to me and asked for more assignments because she did not feel that she had learned enough about World War II and she was concerned about get a USA history credit with this deficit. Again, I was stunned!

The most important thing with melancholy children is to build their confidence and help them avoid procrastination due to fear of failure. Take them baby step by baby step through learning a new subject or new process. Don't allow them to beat themselves up...force them to say good things about themselves and their work. They can become depressed over their own and other people's problems, so stay attentive to their emotional needs.

Payton & Priscilla Phlegmatic

These cheerful little children go along with the flow, but need to be reminded to get out their school books and start working. They don't need an audience (like the sanguine!), a project to complete or people to boss around (like a choleric!), or to have everything turn out perfectly (like the melancholy!). While cholerics and melancholies tend to be task-oriented, phlegmatics tend to be people-oriented like the sanguines. But while they enjoy people, they don't need to be the center of attention. In fact, they prefer to be in the background, letting others shine, or helping the choleric complete his big project. They are wonderful team players. Consider team sports, band, chorus, group projects, and coops classes for these good-natured phlegmatics.

Payton and Priscilla are usually like by everybody because they are so good-natured. Be careful of your phlegmatic child succumbing to peer pressure, though, because he or she tend to be a people-pleaser. And keep your eye out because they can get lost in the shuffle. Weeks go by and you realize that you haven't checked their work. You are sure they have been doing their schoolwork everyday, when to your surprise, you see empty pages. "Payton, what have you been doing?" Payton will usually mumble something you can't hear and look sheepish. "I just forgot," he will admit. Forgot? You are kidding me? Yes, that is a phlegmatic and I'm not too sure they "forgot" because tasks are not all that important to them, they often procrastinate or look for alternatives to work.

Priscilla is sweet and gentle, listening to everyone's problems with a supportive smile. She will serve quietly, helping you with the new baby, fixing lunch for younger children, and running the vacuum when you ask her to. (She will rarely notice on her own that the floor needs vacuuming!) But, she can be stubborn when she doesn't want to do something. She won't go toe to toe with you like a choleric, charm you into changing your mind, or sulk her way out of it like a melancholy. She will quietly go off and NOT do it! The amazing thing is that these children get away with so much because they are so sweet and docile. Be careful to keep your eye on your phlegmatic's schoolwork and chores, making sure they are completed!

Whatever your children's personalities, they all need lots of love and affection. All children spell love T-I-M-E! So, get to know each of the unique personalities you are teaching. Your life will be richer and homeschooling will be easier!

Comments

[Lisa]

Sounds like I have both a melancholy and a phlegmatic in my homeschool. It's interesting to read about the strengths and weaknesses of each and see how best to teach and guide them.

[alisa]

This is quite fascinating! I'm homeschooling my kids, well, just my five year old right now. I loved this post because I'm melancholoy. My oldest in choleric. I think my second born is melancholy also. I have to be very sensitive with constructive criticism - he clams up fast.

I'm can't wait to read your other posts. I'm definitely saving your column in my favorites!