REALITY CHRISTMAS: Unexpected holiday stress -- how to survive and thrive!

 
Many years ago when my  husband and I first started out in ministry, I had a plan at Christmas time. Two great plans, actually. The first one was to continue enjoying my first pregnancy.  It was Christmas time and we were expecting a baby and all was well with the world. On December 12, I was also to be the matron of honor at the wedding of my best friend from Bible College.  My husband was also in the wedding.  I had my special dress, his tuxedo was ordered, I had my shoes, jewelry, hotel room booked, and all was ready for the big day.  I planned to celebrate with our beloved friends, have a baby a few months later and revel in the wonderfulness of all God was doing in our lives. 

All of it came crashing down when on December 6, our baby went to be with the Lord.  I was laying on the couch profusely crying and taking painkillers after coming home from the hospital having gone through an emergency Dilation and Curettage (D & C) with no anesthesia.  (Yeah, ouch!)  Just within hours of this, my best friend called sobbing and told me that her fiancee had broken off the engagement with just six days to go until the wedding. Not only had the love of her life left, but her parents had invested untold thousands for an extremely lavish wedding, none of which would take place.  It was tragic.  I laid there on the couch, feeling quite helpless and out of control in every area of my life. Christmas cheer seemed such a far away thought.  

Life's stresses don't stop just because it's Christmas time. In fact, sometimes they increase.  For all of us in ministry, we deal with the same load we were carrying before the holidays started PLUS all of the expectations at both home and church.  A Christmas cantata alone is enough to throw even the most even keeled person into emotional overdrive when your Joseph or Mary comes down with strep throat, or half of the people involved do not show up to a "mandatory" rehearsal.  How about family angst when relatives come to visit and tensions run high over small things that seem to turn into big things at times?   Throw in a tragedy here or there and it can seem insurmountable or even hopeless. How can we not only survive but thrive? Let's look back to the first Christmas ever. . .

"This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.  But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins."  All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet:  The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel"^[ which means, "God with us."   Mary home as his wife.   But he had no union with her until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.   Matthew 1:18-25 (NIV)

 The first Christmas had it's share of stress.  Joseph and Mary had been planning a wedding until God interrupted them and said, "wait, let's plan a nursery first..."  Imagine if all of your plans were on your impending wedding and you hadn't even consummated your marriage and suddenly you find yourself pregnant.  First of all, you would wonder how this could possibly be since it's entirely supernatural.  Even so, this would be considered a tragedy by most, in fact, at first Joseph had in mind to divorce Mary quietly as we see in verse 19. He could have made a huge mistake but instead he got God's mind on the matter. Thank God he did! 

 

Unexpected situations are an opportunity for us to grow. We will be surprised by God throughout our lives. Not on a scale of proportions as with Mary and Joseph where we are asked to carry the Son of God in our womb, certainly not. However, we will face big interruptions and unexpected issues.  If God interrupted Mary and Joseph's plans, realize our plans are fair game too. We  can make plans on top of plans, but they may not be what God has planned for us.  

 

James 4:13-15 says, "Now listen, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.'  Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow.  What is your life?  You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, 'If it is the Lord's will we will live and do this or that.'" (NIV)

 

A good friend, Kathryn, often asks me, "What's the gift in this?"  We have to look for the gift.  Please understand I am in no way excited about the fact that I had a miscarriage, however something good did come of mine.  I received a wonderful gift as  I was able to have Dustin Michael Shrodes shortly thereafter, who is light of his Momma's life. Had the other child been born, Dustin would not have been.  Dustin is my gift that I have to look to in the situation of losing my other child. 

 

Have we thought to ask God's perspective of our trials and tribulations?

 

How do we gain His perspective? By asking.

 

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:6 & 7

 

Incidentally, although I will not share all of the reasons why, I will just say that it was definitely best that my friend's wedding did not end up happening. It was a great blessing in disguise, the benefit of which could not be seen at that time but took years of gaining God's perspective  and events unfolding to realize. Ultimately it was a great gift to both my friend and her fiancee that they did not end up together. 

 

What is the big picture?

 

There may be some things happening with you in your ministry that seem crazy right now and you can't see how this can possibly fit into God's plan.  Maybe you are having unexpected trials, a transition, or significant loss. It might take years for you to understand this, but trust God -- He has a plan for you -- a hope, a future.  Jeremiah 29:11 is a often quoted verse by most of us but although given many times as a pat answer it is no less true -- "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."  (NIV)

 

God also has a way of solving our issues in different ways than we imagine sometimes and we are slow to understand.   His Word says in Isaiah 55:8 & 9, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord  As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."  (NIV)   Don't you find it interesting how many times we tell God OUR plans or try to advise HIM on how we would recommend fixing things?  I once heard someone say, "if you want to make God laugh, just tell him your plans." 

 

Unexpected things don't have to send us into a hopeless tailspin.  When something happens unexpectedly, let's always stop and pray and say, "God, give me Your mind on this.  What are you trying to each me?  What is the gift in this?"  Sometimes it has to be enough for a while that He says, "I'm in control, and all will be revealed in time."  In the fullness of time. . .