Log in My Eyes

 

The other day I decided to let my husband know "how I really felt." I thought he wanted to know when he asked me, "Honey, what's wrong?" I think you know where I went with this. To me, it was an opportunity to let him know what he was doing wrong in our marriage.

I thought he wanted to know how things in the past still bothered me. I thought he wanted me to tell him how he was supposed to fix my broken heart. I was on a roll that just kept on rolling. I had my finger moving in the shape of a "Z" and my neck was shifting my head from side to side. I had it going on girl! So I thought.

When I looked in the mirror of my heart I couldn't see my eyes! Why? Because not only did I have one log in one eye, I had a log in both my eyes!

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? Luke 6:41 (NIV)

In His Arms

After my outburst, I realized that I may have said some things I should have kept to myself. I knew I should have held my tongue, but I just couldn't stop myself. I felt so angry in that moment that I didn't want to feel any other way. Satan is trying to destroy my relationship with my husband. I needed to take a stand on my knees. And I did. God got me through because my God is bigger and stronger than the devil. Therefore, I put my trust in His hands. Completely. 

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10 (NIV)

My eight year old son is learning to deal with his anger when his older brother makes him mad. He stomps to his room and slams the door. Sometimes he's just tired and needs some rest. Sometimes he becomes upset when he can't get his way. Sometimes he feels rejected when his brother doesn't want to play with him. I handle this in several ways but one of my favorites is to go to him when he has tears of frustration and hurt in his eyes. I will sit next to him with my arm around his shoulders and tell him that "it's going to be okay." I tell him this because I can see the whole picture and I know he is going to be okay. That's what God does for us. I love Him so much for loving me in those quiet ways.

God's Peace

During my meltdown moment, I was so angry I felt I couldn't breath. Why was I so mad? Here's why. I wasn't getting my way. My husband wasn't being the way I thought he should be. He wasn't saying what I wanted to hear. I felt rejected and lonely and my heart felt like it was broken beyond repair. I was tired and felt I couldn't handle it any more.

Can I be honest with you? I had planned to grab all his clothes and throw them outside. As I talked to God, my heart began to change. I was no longer going to throw his clothes outside, I was going to put them in his car - neatly. Then as I felt the arms of God on my shoulders, I could hear Him tell me that "Everything is going to be okay." So I decided to just organize his closet because it was too cluttered with winter clothes. God is Father and I'm his little girl. His amazing love does amazing things for me.

Renovation

When a home gets renovated, removing walls, flooring and old paint is necessary. Renovation occurs when a structure is wearing out or because it is no longer a safe dwelling place. This is what happens to my heart when I don't keep it maintained with the refreshing Word of God. Old thoughts corrode my thinking. When I focus on the faults of my husband, this causes my heart to become filled with wrong and selfish thoughts. I distance myself allowing loneliness, anger and resentment to fester in my heart. I need God to renovate my heart. I need to focus on Him so that he can work on me, in me and through me.

Father forgive me for being judgmental toward my husband. Help me see him through your eyes. Forgive me for being impatient and unkind. Thank you for giving me another day to pray for him.

Comments

[Alison Windsor]

I just found this and I want to thank you for opening your heart to help other wives of unbelievers. I can't wait to read more. Thank you! I so needed this, this morning.

[Lakeyshia Dickerson]

Awesome!
I see so much of where I was in this article. I liked how you mentioned, the finger moving in the form of a Z. You go girl!

You have confirmed that God too had to tear my house down.(marriage)He used the illustration of a tornado that passed through my city of Oklahoma back in May. He showed me that my house was filled with anger greed, doubt and all that other junk!

I love your honesty. I love your realness. You are experiencing many of the same issues that I still and sometimes tackle. God bless you Ms Karen.

[Lakeyshia Dickerson]

Awesome!
I see so much of where I was in this article. I liked how you mentioned, the finger moving in the form of a Z. You go girl!

You have confirmed that God too had to tear my house down.(marriage)He used the illustration of a tornado that passed through my city of Oklahoma back in May. He showed me that my house was filled with anger greed, doubt and all that other junk!

I love your honesty. I love your realness. You are experiencing many of the same issues that I still and sometimes tackle. God bless you Ms Karen.

[Ljppkggf Sc]

This is a really bad habit I have so I'm glad I found this column. Most of the time I don't tell my husband what I feel is wrong with him or what I feel he's not doing, I go to God and tell Him how I feel about what my husband is or isn't doing or what isn't changing and at some time he shows me what He wants to make the same changes in me I want Him to make in my husband. I still have a mouth on me and when I get riled by outside forces in the form or neighbors and or the staff who care for our complex even though I'm not expressing how I feel about my husband to my husband I'm still expressing negatively how I feel which is no witness so this column will help me learn and grow as a woman of God at the same time learning to be the kind of wife God wants me to be even to a husband who is an unbeliever.