Take Root and Write

Surrender the Unknown

The unknown comes in so many forms.  For the parent it's that first horn beep and wave a child gives once they get their license.  It's a doctor's report, the answer to a proposal, a pink slip, job interview, or a spouse's confession.

Surrendering the unknown is probably the hardest act of obedience.  You have to trust that God knows what He is doing and that He's got your best interest at heart; like driving a winding mountain road not knowing what will greet you around the next bend.  It's scary, dark, and gets your heart pumping.

How do you surrender the unknown?  I say it's like the joke about how to eat an elephant---one bite at a time. Here are a few suggestions to help:

---Pray, pray pray!  I know the temptation is to run to our friends and ask what they think.  The better choice is to pray.  Your Heavenly Father longs to hear from you and communicate with you.  He knows how this unknown is going to go for you so doesn't it make sense to talk to Him about it?

---Consult the Instruction Book.  I can’t keep quiet when people ask why couldn’t life come with a manual.  It does, but sometimes we forget to take the Bible seriously.  Our excuses are plenty: it's not relevant, not really God inspired, and the frequent “I don’t understand.”  The Bible is 100% true and God inspired.  The Old and New Testament give examples and hope to tarry on in our situation.  This is another example of taking baby steps.  Don't make Bible reading a fast food chow down.  Savor the Word. 

Surrender the Setbacks

We're about eight weeks away from Take Root and Write's first anniversary.  In the last few months we've surrendered words, our past, failure, and goals just to name a few.  Anytime we take a stand through surrender, there comes another type of surrender: setbacks.

My personality tends to be all or nothing.  When I suffer a setback, I want to chuck the whole thing.  The truth is, setbacks are part of the surrender process.  We need to embrace them, surrender them, and let God work.

What are some common setbacks we might face?

Wellness. We understand how our bodies are a temple.  We want to treat what God's given us with respect.  We surrender the donuts, the ice cream, and pray for strength to get up early for exercise.  One sick child and four freezing cold mornings later, we're ready to put in an IV of chocolate and the treadmill is where we hand our coats.  It's not only a setback, it's a sit down and stop.  It's a difficult set back because the enemy is right there whispering about how you failed. I know for me it feels like a vicious cycle.  I had a setback, I feel like a failure, I skip another workout because I feel like a failure! 

Parenting.  How many times do we ask for forgiveness because we yelled at the kids?  Perhaps you are bothered by the negative words we hear coming out of our own mouths.  Our hearts are in the right place, we truly want to improve.  I can't count the times I've been praying to be better and then yell at the kids for interrupting my prayer time!  It's a devastating setback.

Surrendering the Last Word

Does this dialogue sound familiar to you?

"Mom, he touched me!"

"Did not!"

"Did so!"

"Stop it!"

"No, you stop it..."

This sibling fight seems endless, and remembering my childhood days, I suppose that was my motive.  I wanted to keep the fighting fires burning. Just like a kid on an elevator, I had to keep pressing those buttons.  I had to get the last word.

I've seen it in marriage as well.  Spouses sometimes feel vulnerable in conflict, so they take out reliable weapons from their arsenal.  Throwing around statements like "always", "never", "you should", "you didn't" escalating to the biggie: name calling.  Just like the sibling squabble, the motive is still the same.  It's about the last word.

I wondered if surrendering words is a struggle for a lot of people.  I joke with my mom that even her toy poodle/chihuahua lets out a yip after every rebuke.  She knows she made the wrong choice, she received her punishment, but the temptation is still too great.  She has to get in that last word.

Surrender the Pride

Recently I was watching a new Disney show with the kids. One of the characters is an arrogant actor who enjoys putting down other performers on other shows. One of his statements caught me, and I can't let go.

"It's not that I'm better than you, I'm just different. In a better kind of way."

God is speaking a lot to me about pride. There is the arrogant pride like the example above. Anyone need to surrender to that? 

Perhaps you still have a job and someone else in your department was let go. In your head are you reasoning why you were blessed to stay?  In your family growing up did it appear like you had a bit of favor with your parents or a teacher when others did not? Did it puff you up, even just a little?

I know I need to improve on this, even if I keep those thoughts to myself, they are still audible and accountable to God.  A new natural season starts this month with spring.  Anyone care to join me in starting a new season in Christ by surrendering arrogant pride?

I wish that were the only kind of pride to surrender.  Has anyone offered to lend you a hand, a hand that you needed, and you refused it? I'm guilty as charged. What I'm learning is the older I get, the more I need to let go of myself.  We are the body of Christ, and we need each other.  Kind of like the movie Rocky, his declaration about marriage rings true for Christian relationships as well:

    "I got gaps and Adrian's got gaps.Together, we got no gaps."

If you are overwhelmed and a person, a family, a ministry or organization comes forward, prayerfully consider accepting that meal, those clothes.  In return, do the same for someone else.

This month the group Finding Freedom Through Surrender at Christian Women Take Root will be discussing surrendering pride. If you are a Christian woman you're invited to check the site out and join us in this discussion, as well as starting your own.

Pride, let's surrender it to the Lord today!

Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.  (Proverbs 16:18, NIV)

Surrender Your Focus

Marriage from a Distance columnist Jennifer Miller and I noted that God is giving us the same word in different settings: focus. Whether it is a song, an article, somehow each week "focus" is something God is speaking to us. One of the ways He showed me the importance of focusing on Him is through the Wii Fit. When you work on the balance exercises, the screen will show how your core balance is. A red "marker" draws your movement against the core. A balanced core has a red mark in the middle of the board. My balance drawing looks like a child took a red pen and scribbled all over the quadrants. What's my problem on the balance board? Focus.

Just like the disciples on the boat, it is easy to place our focus on the waves, the boat, and the wind. Are you tempted to go to friends, family, email contacts, and everyplace but the Lord when there is an issue? I believe that's His message for us this year. No matter what the economy is like, what health issues we are facing, where family situations lie, He's asking our focus be on Him. First. Last. Always. 

I love the picture of this woman because it shows so many things about focusing on the Lord. Her face is beaming and she is full of joy. She is looking up, and to me, it looks like she is looking to Him. As she focuses on Him, all the other things surrounding her appear fuzzy.

When we surrender our focus and focus on Him, this is the visual I now have on how life will be. How does your balance drawing look? Is your red mark on the core or all over the place? Is your focus on the King of Kings or on people and things?

This month at Christian Women Take Root we'll discuss surrender as well as focus. I'd love to have your join us!

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart" (Hebrews 12:1-3, NIV).

Surrender Resources for the New Year

Whether you call them goals or resolutions, surrender is a constant theme in a Christian's life.  In 2008 here at Take Root and the social network Christian Women Take Root we covered topics like surrendering schedules, marriage, our words, and our dreams.  What is God speaking to you about surrendering in 2009?

What I love about the Lord is He just doesn't speak to us and walk away.  He equips us.  To kick off the new year I thought I'd share some resources that will encourage your surrender journey.

1.  Any Beth Moore Bible Study.  When I'm with a group of ladies I'll ask what one study helped you more than anything else.  It might not be the same book, but it's typically the same author: Beth Moore.  For me, I started with Believing God and it transformed my life.  Others start with Breaking Free and declare there is no other study they would start with but that one.  I've also read Get Out of that Pit and plan this year to reread it.  What's great about her studies is you are going to get in the Word.  I've heard people say the studies are too time consuming.  My prayer is you are too hungry for godly transformation to let that bother you.  The time it takes to sit down and read the paper over a cup of coffee is the time it would take for a daily reading in one of her studies.  Better yet, find a group doing this study.  Already in my area, I've seen fliers for a Believing God study.

Surrender One Day of Thanksgiving

The turkey is in the oven.  The pies are cooling.  The football game is about to begin.  If you live in the United States, it's easy to think what day this must be:  Thanksgiving!  Each year this holiday falls on the fourth Thursday of November.  Tradition usually has families setting aside time before dinner to pray and give thanks.

What is each member of the family thankful for?  The reasons are as varied as salvation, health, work, homes, clothes, and the child like answers like a Wii or nice teachers.

Would you be able to surrender this tradition?  It's a silly question but in more than one ministry I'm involved in, we were challenged.  Could we let go of that one day tradition and make thankfulness an every day of the year thing?

Statistically it is said if you do something for 21 days straight, good or bad, it becomes a habit.  Why not challenge yourself to see if your family can make a habit of what you are thankful for?  Perhaps you can go to the Dollar Store and pick up a journal.  For those old enough to write, what a treasure this would be to look back at other writings.

One year throughout November we had a construction paper tree with individual leaves and when others visited the house, we invited them to write on a leaf what they were thankful for and posted it on the tree.  It was great fun to see what friends would come up with.

If you are a blogger or want to start a blog, what a great way to keep track of your daily thanks.

Here are other thoughts as to how you can be thankful all year long:

Surrendering Status

Status definition in part, courtesy of Wikipedia: "In modern societies, occupation is usually thought of as the main determinant of status, but other memberships or affiliations (such as ethnic group, religion, gender, voluntary associations, fandom, hobby) can have an influence. The importance of social status can be seen in the peer status hierarchy of geeks, athletes, cheerleaders, nerds, and weirdos in American high schools.^[1][2] Achieved status is when people are placed in the stratification structure based on their individual merits or achievements. This status can be achieved through education, occupation, and marital status. America most commonly uses this form of status with jobs. The higher up your are in rank the better off you are and the more control you have over your co-workers."

Unless you live in a cave, the news lately probably has your attention.  Bailouts, bankruptcies, fear, all things the world thought was secure sits on some pretty shaky ground.  As I pay attention to the media,, I realize some news anchors are truly afraid.  They have no anchor to hold on to, even though as far as status, they ARE the anchor.  I think that says a lot.

I was born in a corporate town that serves as world headquarters to Corning Glass (now Inc.).   Not long after 9/11, the economic impact trickled to Upstate NY and that corporation had to restructure. There were so many cut from the work force that when someone who had been overseas traveling for work returned, they likened the return to surviving a war.  They were shocked to see the place so desolate and felt guilty to return and still have a job.  There were some that when they received the news, they needed assistance out of the building because they were in such denial.  These were folks who had bought tracts of land to build the dream house to match their title.  They had new cars, swimming pools, cottages on the lake.  For those that had so much invested in the stock with that company, at one point it dropped lower than what you would get for a slice of pizza.

Surrendering Expectations

I remember turning thirty and not understanding what all the fuss about the milestone was about.  Reflecting on why I was at such peace, it hit me that the event was positive because in my mind, I was on target.  I had goals and they were all checked off.  The to do list called my life was a bunch of big fat check marks. 

Then I turned thirty-one.

That year and the seven years since have been for me, a toddler tantrum.  Life isn't going "my way."  My expectations and goals never included the reality of these things: a miscarriage, infertility, chronic illness of baby, terminal illness of parent, job transition, death of parent, family adjustment, move, marital adjustment with move, children health issues, depression, and acceleration into perimenopause due to polycystic ovaries and most likely, all the above.

What happened?

Life happened.

Not the life I planned, but life as God did.  The more I kick and scream and pout, "Woe is me", the longer wisdom and growth in Him takes.  I sense the message we're to focus on this month is about surrendering expectations.

It's not that goals are bad, but when we cling so tightly to the plan for our life that there is no room for the Lord to move, well that's not living abundantly.  He loves us so much, don't you want His best for you?

So how do you surrender expectations if goals aren't a bad thing to have?  For me, I am prayerful about my choices, my goals, even my to do list.  It's very easy for me to run ahead of God and the results are never pretty.  If you're facing a situation you didn't sign up for, go to God and tell Him.  Don't hide from Him, don't run past Him, run to Him.  Ask for His plan, His revelation, His wisdom.

Maybe the worst expectation you have is of yourself.  This held me back for years.  I set high goals for myself and typically met them.  I set high expectations for others and was devastated when they didn't come close.  What was missing?  Surrender. 

A great definition I was given about forgiveness is this: it's surrendering to the fact that person didn't meet up to your expectations. Think about anytime you needed to forgive.  Childhood issues, marriage, children, work relationships, family...all those instances when you forgave.  What were you really doing?  Surrender.  What else?  Letting go of expectations.

What's holding you back?  Lofty goals God isn't a part of?  A bar set so high for yourself you've put yourself in a corner?  Expectations so tall for everyone else they feel imprisoned, but the reality is, it's you who is the inmate?

It's time to let go.  It's a cliche, but let go and Let God.

Live free.

Seek Him first in all things, especially surrendering expectations.

And remember---it's a process.  Be easy on yourself, and others.

Even if you have to say over and over, "My definition of forgiveness is surrendering the fact you didn't meet my expectations."

Even if...you have to speak that in the mirror.

• 2 Corinthians 8:5 TNIV

  And they went beyond our expectations; having given themselves first of all to the Lord, they gave themselves by the will of God also to us.

I invite you to check out the social network, Christian Women Take Root, that includes over 250 women and multiple groups to fit your needs to grow in Christ.  One of the groups is Finding Freedom Through Surrender. The next month we'll have discussions on surrendering expectations, forgiveness, goals, and living free. Feel free to join in and/or start a discussion.

To learn my surrender story (ongoing of course), please visit my Take Root writer page.

Surrender the Words

Take your time and read the scrolling love message above from your Heavenly Father.  Do those words ring true for you or roll deep in your stomach like a foreign substance? If you feel like those words are from someone else, then this month is for you.

It's about surrendering words.  I refer to them as word curses.   Those words, phrases, statements or screams that might not have even been malicious, but decades later, they carry a wallop.

Maybe you:

• Announced you wanted to go to college but were told with your grades, you could never be college material.
• Were labeled to such an extent that years later, you still make choices as the "pretty one", "smart one", "wild one" "dumb one" "unloved one".
• Found yourself in the middle of a conflict as a child and the parent made it clear you were just like the other parent they seemed to hate.

The thing is, sticks and stones and names all hurt us.  They are crippling.  They rob you of experiencing true freedom in Christ. It's time to take back everything the enemy (I refer to the devil as the defeated one by the way) stole.

I write today because I surrendered the word curses in late 2006.  I was told in high school my writing would never amount to anything because I had mediocre at best teachers.  There were better writers than me.  This is true, but I was a dream deflated.  I played it safe for years.  Through Bible study and mentoring I realized the defeated one wins when I play it safe.  I'm called to write.  He doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called.  That's me.  It's you.

The Wobbly First Move: Surrendering Fear

Babies are fun to watch.  Each day seems to bring about progress and change-that first smile, the time they find their toe.  For our second child, these firsts came with difficulty and gave me so much insight on my life purpose of encouraging women with the written word, especially with surrender.

Our daughter has congenital hypothyroidism and asthma.  Although both these conditions are stabilized, as a baby she suffered greatly.  Between bouts with RSV, croup, doctor error with medicine, pneumonia and her thyroid, she gained weight quickly and had trouble moving.

I watched her try to roll to one side on her own, and it was heartbreaking.  She needed gentle hands to guide her.  As she got older and stronger in health, she dropped the weight.  Her breathing was better and the steroids left her system.  Her movements became more fluid and agile.  These days few would know the difficulties she endured those first years.

If you are like me, you might have that all or nothing personality.  You want to change, you feel called to surrender, but the thought of doing so seems overwhelming.  Let His gentle hands guide you.  Drop the weight so you can move forward.

What weight?

Those areas He's been calling you to surrender.

Fear.  Family.  Job.  Finances.  Children.  Church.  Ministry.  Friends.  Choices.  Future.  Goals.  Dreams.  Mistakes.  Failures.  As you can see, there is "job security" in this column because we are always in a state where we have something to surrender.

Care to join me?

Galatians 5:1

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."

Welcome to Freedom Through Surrender

Welcome!  I'm so excited to participate with Take Root and Write.  As an author on the TRW team, I'm not one who has mastered anything except mistakes.  If you join me the third Thursday of each month, together we will find victory and freedom through surrender.

I plan to share more in my first post July 17 but for now, I'll encourage you with this:

• What He Starts, He will finish.
• He doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called.

As my heart stirs, it was Kay Warren (Purpose Driven Life wife) who asked my thoughts on her book, Dangerous Surrender, during a live chat.

I shared the stirrings of my heart---from writing to children to missions to only He knows.

She gave me three words that sear in my brain when the thought of surrender threatens to overwhelm.

Crawl.  Walk.  Run.

This column is about surrender, but one baby step at a time.  Together we'll cover those areas of surrender that affect us all: fear, finances, dreams, family, goals, expectations...the list is endless isn't it?  Why?  Because He does ask us to surrender all.

Just not in a day.

Have a blessed day!

Intro: Freedom Through Surrender

Surrender might be painful at times, and hardly ever easy. Regardless of your age, faith or background, if you are ready to surrender your fears, your dreams, your all to the Lord, you can find Freedom!

By, Julie Arduini
Column Posted Third Thursday each Month/ Also Group in CWTR Here.