Take Root and Write

Surrendering Status

Status definition in part, courtesy of Wikipedia: "In modern societies, occupation is usually thought of as the main determinant of status, but other memberships or affiliations (such as ethnic group, religion, gender, voluntary associations, fandom, hobby) can have an influence. The importance of social status can be seen in the peer status hierarchy of geeks, athletes, cheerleaders, nerds, and weirdos in American high schools.^[1][2] Achieved status is when people are placed in the stratification structure based on their individual merits or achievements. This status can be achieved through education, occupation, and marital status. America most commonly uses this form of status with jobs. The higher up your are in rank the better off you are and the more control you have over your co-workers."

Unless you live in a cave, the news lately probably has your attention.  Bailouts, bankruptcies, fear, all things the world thought was secure sits on some pretty shaky ground.  As I pay attention to the media,, I realize some news anchors are truly afraid.  They have no anchor to hold on to, even though as far as status, they ARE the anchor.  I think that says a lot.

I was born in a corporate town that serves as world headquarters to Corning Glass (now Inc.).   Not long after 9/11, the economic impact trickled to Upstate NY and that corporation had to restructure. There were so many cut from the work force that when someone who had been overseas traveling for work returned, they likened the return to surviving a war.  They were shocked to see the place so desolate and felt guilty to return and still have a job.  There were some that when they received the news, they needed assistance out of the building because they were in such denial.  These were folks who had bought tracts of land to build the dream house to match their title.  They had new cars, swimming pools, cottages on the lake.  For those that had so much invested in the stock with that company, at one point it dropped lower than what you would get for a slice of pizza.

Surrendering Expectations

I remember turning thirty and not understanding what all the fuss about the milestone was about.  Reflecting on why I was at such peace, it hit me that the event was positive because in my mind, I was on target.  I had goals and they were all checked off.  The to do list called my life was a bunch of big fat check marks. 

Then I turned thirty-one.

That year and the seven years since have been for me, a toddler tantrum.  Life isn't going "my way."  My expectations and goals never included the reality of these things: a miscarriage, infertility, chronic illness of baby, terminal illness of parent, job transition, death of parent, family adjustment, move, marital adjustment with move, children health issues, depression, and acceleration into perimenopause due to polycystic ovaries and most likely, all the above.

What happened?

Life happened.

Not the life I planned, but life as God did.  The more I kick and scream and pout, "Woe is me", the longer wisdom and growth in Him takes.  I sense the message we're to focus on this month is about surrendering expectations.

It's not that goals are bad, but when we cling so tightly to the plan for our life that there is no room for the Lord to move, well that's not living abundantly.  He loves us so much, don't you want His best for you?

So how do you surrender expectations if goals aren't a bad thing to have?  For me, I am prayerful about my choices, my goals, even my to do list.  It's very easy for me to run ahead of God and the results are never pretty.  If you're facing a situation you didn't sign up for, go to God and tell Him.  Don't hide from Him, don't run past Him, run to Him.  Ask for His plan, His revelation, His wisdom.

Maybe the worst expectation you have is of yourself.  This held me back for years.  I set high goals for myself and typically met them.  I set high expectations for others and was devastated when they didn't come close.  What was missing?  Surrender. 

A great definition I was given about forgiveness is this: it's surrendering to the fact that person didn't meet up to your expectations. Think about anytime you needed to forgive.  Childhood issues, marriage, children, work relationships, family...all those instances when you forgave.  What were you really doing?  Surrender.  What else?  Letting go of expectations.

What's holding you back?  Lofty goals God isn't a part of?  A bar set so high for yourself you've put yourself in a corner?  Expectations so tall for everyone else they feel imprisoned, but the reality is, it's you who is the inmate?

It's time to let go.  It's a cliche, but let go and Let God.

Live free.

Seek Him first in all things, especially surrendering expectations.

And remember---it's a process.  Be easy on yourself, and others.

Even if you have to say over and over, "My definition of forgiveness is surrendering the fact you didn't meet my expectations."

Even if...you have to speak that in the mirror.

• 2 Corinthians 8:5 TNIV

  And they went beyond our expectations; having given themselves first of all to the Lord, they gave themselves by the will of God also to us.

I invite you to check out the social network, Christian Women Take Root, that includes over 250 women and multiple groups to fit your needs to grow in Christ.  One of the groups is Finding Freedom Through Surrender. The next month we'll have discussions on surrendering expectations, forgiveness, goals, and living free. Feel free to join in and/or start a discussion.

To learn my surrender story (ongoing of course), please visit my Take Root writer page.

Surrender the Words

Take your time and read the scrolling love message above from your Heavenly Father.  Do those words ring true for you or roll deep in your stomach like a foreign substance? If you feel like those words are from someone else, then this month is for you.

It's about surrendering words.  I refer to them as word curses.   Those words, phrases, statements or screams that might not have even been malicious, but decades later, they carry a wallop.

Maybe you:

• Announced you wanted to go to college but were told with your grades, you could never be college material.
• Were labeled to such an extent that years later, you still make choices as the "pretty one", "smart one", "wild one" "dumb one" "unloved one".
• Found yourself in the middle of a conflict as a child and the parent made it clear you were just like the other parent they seemed to hate.

The thing is, sticks and stones and names all hurt us.  They are crippling.  They rob you of experiencing true freedom in Christ. It's time to take back everything the enemy (I refer to the devil as the defeated one by the way) stole.

I write today because I surrendered the word curses in late 2006.  I was told in high school my writing would never amount to anything because I had mediocre at best teachers.  There were better writers than me.  This is true, but I was a dream deflated.  I played it safe for years.  Through Bible study and mentoring I realized the defeated one wins when I play it safe.  I'm called to write.  He doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called.  That's me.  It's you.

The Wobbly First Move: Surrendering Fear

Babies are fun to watch.  Each day seems to bring about progress and change-that first smile, the time they find their toe.  For our second child, these firsts came with difficulty and gave me so much insight on my life purpose of encouraging women with the written word, especially with surrender.

Our daughter has congenital hypothyroidism and asthma.  Although both these conditions are stabilized, as a baby she suffered greatly.  Between bouts with RSV, croup, doctor error with medicine, pneumonia and her thyroid, she gained weight quickly and had trouble moving.

I watched her try to roll to one side on her own, and it was heartbreaking.  She needed gentle hands to guide her.  As she got older and stronger in health, she dropped the weight.  Her breathing was better and the steroids left her system.  Her movements became more fluid and agile.  These days few would know the difficulties she endured those first years.

If you are like me, you might have that all or nothing personality.  You want to change, you feel called to surrender, but the thought of doing so seems overwhelming.  Let His gentle hands guide you.  Drop the weight so you can move forward.

What weight?

Those areas He's been calling you to surrender.

Fear.  Family.  Job.  Finances.  Children.  Church.  Ministry.  Friends.  Choices.  Future.  Goals.  Dreams.  Mistakes.  Failures.  As you can see, there is "job security" in this column because we are always in a state where we have something to surrender.

Care to join me?

Galatians 5:1

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."

Welcome to Freedom Through Surrender

Welcome!  I'm so excited to participate with Take Root and Write.  As an author on the TRW team, I'm not one who has mastered anything except mistakes.  If you join me the third Thursday of each month, together we will find victory and freedom through surrender.

I plan to share more in my first post July 17 but for now, I'll encourage you with this:

• What He Starts, He will finish.
• He doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called.

As my heart stirs, it was Kay Warren (Purpose Driven Life wife) who asked my thoughts on her book, Dangerous Surrender, during a live chat.

I shared the stirrings of my heart---from writing to children to missions to only He knows.

She gave me three words that sear in my brain when the thought of surrender threatens to overwhelm.

Crawl.  Walk.  Run.

This column is about surrender, but one baby step at a time.  Together we'll cover those areas of surrender that affect us all: fear, finances, dreams, family, goals, expectations...the list is endless isn't it?  Why?  Because He does ask us to surrender all.

Just not in a day.

Have a blessed day!