Take Root and Write

Girlfriend Gab

Living a marriage from a distance is tough. I feel like I start so many of these posts restating that fact. Why do I do this? Because it is so true and a constant battle we fight. A big part of this battle is unseen and happening in our heads and hearts. Although we may seem to be handling our marriage from a distance incredibly well to others...oh, if they could only see on the inside. We can be a mess!

Outsiders don't see our numerous tears of frustration and loneliness. They don't hear our short tempers with our family because we are exhausted and overwhelmed. They don't hear the arguing inside our heads over a need to ask for help but not wanting to burden others. Outsiders are usually unaware of these battles within us.

However, God isn't clueless to what is going on in us. He holds every tear we've cried and offers us His shoulder. He knows our plates are overloaded and offers us rest and refreshment in Him. He knows we need help and has sent His son Jesus and the Holy Spirit to help us.

Something else God has sent to help us as we strive to be brave in our marriage from a distance...marriage from a distance girlfriends! There is such strength and power in talking with someone else who is walking the same path we are on. Having a safe place to vent our frustrations, worries, and stresses is invaluable when the hearing end is someone who gets you, they are living marriage from a distance as well!

Tackling Town

We all have to face it as moms. Some moms have to face it more than others. I have a feeling "Marriage from a Distance" moms and single moms face it a bit more than others. One way or the other, there is no escaping it. What is it? It is tackling town, errands, doctor appointments, outings, etc with kids...alone.

Granted, like I said, all moms get to experience the tough challenge of tackling town out numbered by little people. Trust me, whether you have one or ten kids, you're out numbered. So, yes, in this aspect all moms are grouped together. Zoom into this massive group of "all moms" and you'll find a subgroup of marriage from a distance moms and single moms. These moms do face tackling town out numbered more often than they'd care to. They do become accustomed to the single tackle and learn to accept their circumstances...but it doesn't mean they like it. (I am grouping these two groups of moms together in this article because I do have some single moms who read my column. My heart goes out to you wonderful women. Don't stop being brave!)

These moms become tired of always having to be the one who runs all the errands with kids almost always in tow...especially when they themselves are already spent. Cheer up my dear girlfriends! I have words of hope, fun, and survival for those outings that you're sure are going to be the end of you and /or your kids...or whoever gets in your way giving you that "crazy woman" look. Giggle with me here, girls. We are about to have fun!

Running Wisdom

On the couple of days each week that my husband is home I try to get out for a walk/run in our neighborhood. Typically one or two of my older daughters will join me, and if she's lucky we bring our big ol' dog, Maggie, as well. However, my two older girls are visiting their grandparents out of state for three weeks! So currently walk/runs are a time for me to do all the more reflection and talking with God which I am enjoying in a huge way. However, I am also finding that I have a harder time running by myself, there's no one to motivate or challenge me, or for me to motivate or challenge. It's just me, the sidewalk, and God. During these recent walk/runs God has shared some more truths with me.

Running right now feels more like work than a release of energy, a "have to" rather than a "want to", a dread rather than a joy. I found myself at one point feeling like I couldn't go on, although I knew I could. I let God know that I just wasn't sure if I could get to the stop sign just ahead, my usual goal. God replied, "No you can't on your own, but with Me you can." That was all the encouragement I needed at that minute to reach the stop sign. It wasn't easy nor fun, but I knew God would see that my legs held out.

Make Him Shine!

I've gotta know, what is your response to the title of this month's post, "Make Him Shine!"? By the way, the "him" we are talking about is your husband, not God.

• Are you sitting on the edge of your seat anxious to read of the ways to encourage your husband? (Boy, do you love your man!)
• Are you thinking you'll read this article later when you have time, if you ever have time? (You love your man and are looking for ways to show him...if you can just find the time and energy.)
• Are you wondering why you should make him shine when you are tarnished and need some shining of your own? (You love your man, but honestly there has been so much distance in your marriage that you've drifted away from each other.)

Over the past sixteen years of my marriage I've been on different parts of the mountain and would be able to answer the initial question in all three ways. I've been on top of the mountain shouting to the world how much I love my husband and that he's my knight in shining armor. I've been in the dark and lonely valley feeling alone in a marriage from a distance that appeared okay, but was struggling to see the light of day. Recently God has been teaching and showing me how to get out of this valley and work my way  back up to the majestic mountain top again. I want to share with you some things God has been teaching me in this journey: Pray, Turn your back, Communicate.

Be Brave!

“Be brave…you were made for this.” What a strong statement. If you didn’t find the boldness and encouragement in that quote then please reread it until you do before you go any further. If you need to, read it out loud with pure determination in your voice.

Before reading this statement several months ago I was a scared wife and mom. I found myself struggling to hold myself together each day, much less keep a household of four kids in some resemblance of order. I was unsure of what tomorrow held. I was unsure of my abilities as a wife and homeschooling mom. I was unsure of my marriage. I was unsure of me, who I was. I was unsure of everything. Can you relate with any of this? Being unsure will do to a person what salt will do to metal…weaken.

Then steps in this incredible statement that is packed with such POWER! “Be brave…you were made for this.” Marriage can be tough enough by itself. Then throw a few kids in the mix and your typical daily responsibilities to add to the challenges. Now, add to that the extra responsibilities moms must take on when their husbands are away for extended periods of time. Poof! You’ve got one overwhelmed, tired, exhausted, and sometimes hopeless feeling mama. I want to encourage you to be brave during this time. Be a warrior!

You’re thinking, “Nice thought, but warriors are in movies and tv shows wearing armor while swinging a heavy bladed sword. Oh, and they are full of energy, are in excellent shape physically, have no children under their feet, aren’t trying to keep the house clean while changing a diaper, switching laundry, and cooking dinner…and they never have to go to the bathroom!” Hold that thought as I give you a new vision of what a warrior looks like.