Take Root and Write

Come Unto Me

Sometimes it feels like I’m carrying the world on my shoulders. And no matter how hard I try, I just can’t seem to unload the heaviness of my heart. Sometimes all I know to do is just rest in his arms.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)

 

 

Jesus is my strength. When I don't know what to say - I just don't say a thing. That's what is so wonderful about my relationship with Him. He will always take me just as I am. He will always be here for me - Always.

 

 

The Joy of the Lord is My Strength

 
“The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him” Psalm 28:7 (NIV).

Everybody has their bad days. Even couples who both live for Christ have challenging days. But those who are standing alone in Christ in their marriage seem to have more to battle against. Seem to have more. It just seems more lonely and I feel isolated. It seems like everyone has a better life than mine. Then I turn my eyes to my God. He becomes my strength through the storm. I find myself believing that my life would be so much better if I had a Christian husband. And you know what? Maybe it would be. Maybe it wouldn't be. I don't know. What I do know is this - here I am and here I will stand with Jesus. I can't worry about the "what ifs". I need to trust in the Lord.

 “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight” Proverbs 3:5-6.

Where I Fit In

 

There's something about having a sense of belonging and a sense of security. We all have a need of wanting to belong. We all have a need to feel secure in who we are whether we are at home, work or at church. What we need to remember is that it is in Christ where we find security as well as the sense of belonging. We belong to God and only He can fullfil those voids.  Our security is based on our relationship with Christ Jesus. 

“Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me” John 15:4 (NIV)

 

 

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    Satan does not want marriages to succeed. We need to be strong standing for Christ in our homes. We need to keep guard on our hearts. We need to fix our eyes on Jesus.

 “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil” Proverbs 4:23-27 (NIV)

Through Prayer

Through prayer many battles are won. And going to battle without the right gear on can be fatal. Satan doesn't want us to believe that our spouses can be won for Christ. Satan wants us give up on our loved ones. I want to encourage you to have faith and know that through prayer our faith grows strong. When you feel discouraged and don't think God hears your prayer - than you know that this is the time to pray.

I talk to God daily about my marriage whether its good or bad. Here’s how I sometimes find myself praying for my husband: Dear Lord. Did you hear what my husband just said? Did you see what he did? I offer up his words to you that your grace is sufficient to heal wounds and create life. Lord, I trust you with my husband and ask that Holy Spirit continue to work towards his salvation. Father, search my heart that I would be a vessel on behalf of your kingdom and speak blessing into every situtation. Give me grace for my marriage and fill us both with your love. Amen. 

 

Thorn In My Flesh

There are many times when I compared my relationship to a "thorn in my flesh". I have cried many nights for God to change my situation. To give me a spouse that loves Him as much as I do if not more. I have even asked the Lord to open the doors so I can walk away. That's when this verse seems to fit perfectly:

"Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me" (2 Cor 12:7-8 NIV).

Yeah! I can relate to  this! Lord just take him - my thorn in my flesh! Oh - But there is more.

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." (vs 9).

 

Don't Give Up

My husband isn't my best friend. This really hurts me because I want nothing more than for him to be my best friend. When I have a bad day at work I long to be encouraged by him. When I feel that I am not getting through to our children, I wish he would step in and tell them how they need to repsect their parents because the Bible tells them to. When I am sick, I wish he would comfort me with his kindness and gentleness.

When I am in a bad mood and nothing makes any sense to me, I wish he would just allow me to be me and listen to what is on my mind and in my heart until I am in a better place and able to hear what he has to tell me. When I am sleeping, I wish he would whisper a prayer to God for me. But he doesn't. So what do I do? I'll tell you what I won't do - I won't give up.

    "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak" Isaiah 40:29. (NIV)

 Breaking Point

I thought I was going to loose it this past weekend. My kids drug their feet getting ready for church. The dog kept following me around because no one felt like feeding her. When I finally got to church I just knew that when I began teaching the children their Sunday School lesson everything would fall in place and peace would befall us all - NOT - they all (well it seemed like all of them) were restless little jumping beans. I wanted to give up.

It’s hard to see what God is doing in our lives when it seems like the things we do for others don't mean anything. What I want to tell you today is - DON’T GIVE UP.

Waiting Patiently

It is so important to have patience while God is working on your spouse. When you understand that there is going to be a waiting period between your request for their salvation and His answer, you will encounter a peace that only God can bestow upon you. Know and believe that God is in control and His timing is the perfect time. I want to encourage you to embrace the fruit of patience. Keep praying for your spouse - even when it seems impossible to see them serving God.

Throughout my journey in my walk with Christ, I have often heard that praying for patience is not such a good thing to pray for. That if you pray for patience you will surely regret it. The Bible tells us that patience is one part of the fruit of the Spirit. It is a gift from God and a treasure to behold. Here's what the Bible says about having patience:

"A man's wisdom give him patience; it is his glory to overlook an offence" (Proverbs 19:11 NIV).

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control" (Galations 5:22, 23).

Just Jesus

Sometimes I forget who my battle is with. I find myself focusing on the fact that I'm married to an unbeliever and not focussing enough on who Jesus is in my life. When I allow myself to be consumed with pleasing my spouse, many unwanted emotions begin to arise and I become  distracted from where God is leading me. I need to remember that Jesus desires to be the center of my attention. I need to press into prayer and get into His Word.

Although our spouses are our friends, we need to remember that Jesus comes first. No matter how bad we want to have a strong relationship with our spouse, we need to first build a strong relationship with God. I want nothing more than to have a "best friend" relationship with my husband. But I don't want to build it on "me," I want to build it on the Rock. I don't have a great relationship with my husband at this time and that's okay because all I really need right now is Jesus - Just Jesus.

When Pain Overwhelms Me

I have never had the experience of playing paint ball. Yet I can imagine being in the middle of an open field with no weapon to protect myself, not even a sling shot with a bag of smooth stones. I picture that I am surrounded by giants with their guns pointed at me. One by one they shoot me. Becuase it is paint ball, I do not die but just feel the pain, lots of pain.

These shots represent many things to me. One painful shot represents my husband'ls lack of surrender to Jesus. Another shot represents my children standing between my life for Christ and my husband's life for the world. Other shots epitomize frustration, loneliness, weakness, and fear. When I find myself overwhelmed with pain, I fall helplessly to my knees - and this is not always an easy thing for me to do. Let's pray:

My Lord my God my help in time of need. I want to pray for each and every woman who is experiencing and will experience the pain that comes with being married to an unbeliever. You know our hearts and you know what we face each day. I pray that you give us wisdom and courage as we step into the flames that remove the debree of the world. Make us the strong, humble, and wise women you intend us to be. Thank you for these women whom you hand picked to be the light in their homes. In Jesus name I pray - Amen!

What's in a Name

My nine year-old son, Jordyn, loves the Lord in a way that is so innocent, pure and genuine. I truly can understand why Jesus tells us to come to him as a child. Jordyn and I were talking one day and he told me he couldn't wait to ask God what his name was. He imagined something like Bob. There's no doubt in my mind that God smiled at that one. This blessed me because one of my concerns is the non-Christian influence my husband has on our children. It's moments like this that lets me know God is in control.

Who I Am

As woman, I have many roles. To my husband I am a wife. To my children I am a mom To my nephews, I'm an aunt. To my parents, I'm a daughter. To my siblings, I'm a sister. To my grand children, I'm a  grand-mother, To my step-children, I'm step-mother and to my husband's siblings, I'm a sister-in-law.

All the people in my life, know me in different roles. Often times we see God in one role. Though He is one, He has many characteristics. As I'm one woman created in the image of God, I have different characteristics. I've learned that knowing the names of God helps me understanding His differerent characteristics. It reaffirms that He is everything to me.

Where our husbands fall short, God is there. Where our husbands lack understanding of our many emotional needs, God understands. When our husbands drive us crazy, God drives us back to where we belong. Let's explore His many names and what they mean to us.

God First

At the beginning of each year it seems that I have a list of things that I set out to accomplish. On the top of my list is the desire to be a better wife. Maybe I need to be more understanding to why my husband refuses to accept Christ as his Savior. Maybe I need to be more submissive. Or maybe I should relax a bit on my want for him to be the Spiritual leader of our home.

Another item on my list is to be a better mother. Maybe I push them too hard when they want to stay home from church. Maybe I need to stop giving them lectures on the principles of God. Maybe I need to stop telling them that I am a woman who fears God and I would not be doing His will if I didn't tell them the truth of God's Word. Maybe I should just keep God all to myself and just not say anything about Him. NOT! I don't think so!

KNOW HIM

The only thing that is going on my list this year is God and God alone. I want to get to know Him. I am going to put Him first everyday. That is my New Year resolution. And when I get overly concerned about this world's worries and begin to sink in the water - I am going to shake the dust off my feet and press into the Word.

"I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better" (Ephesians 1:16-17, NIV).

Promises of God

". . .You know with all your heart and soul that not one of all the good promises of the Lord your God gave you has failed. Every promise has been fulfilled; not one has failed" (Joshua 23:14 NIV).

PROMISES OF JOY

"Sing the praises of the Lord, you his faithful people; praise his holy name. For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning"
(Psalm 30:4-5 NIV).

There are times when it seems like the joy of the Lord is handed out to everyone else but me. I know joy is real because I have and do experience it many times. I'm so glad that joy isn't a feeling. Although it feels great! Happiness is a feeling. But happiness lasts but for a moment compared to the eternal existance of joy. 

Don't get me wrong. There's nothing wrong with being happy. I like being happy. But the promise of eternal joy brings a quiet peace to my heart. When I am sad or having a tough day, I know that I can still have the the joy of Jesus in my heart. I pray that if you haven't experienced the richness of joy that you allow the Spirit of God to pour the joy of the Lord all over you.

Today

God healed my heart in places I never thought would be healed. I am so greatful that God reached out to  me and brought me to where I am today. God prepares my every tomorrow. He is already there. Sometimes I think too much about tomorrow and before I know it, today has passed. I didn't even stop to smell the roses. I'm no where near perfect and may not have a perfect family but I have a perfect God. So as each day comes, I will do my best to embrace what God has in it for me. Embracing each day in Him is found in His Word.

Today I will submit my husband to God.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil" (Proverbs 3:5-7, NIV).

Today I will cry unto the Lord and then I will praise God. It's so easy to fall into depression if I don't catch myself and give my woes to God. I often ask myself why things don't change like I think they should. Then I am reminded of how David cried out to God. God was there for David and he is here for us. How great is that!

"To you, Lord, I call; you are my Rock, do not turn a deaf ear to me. For if you remain silent, I will be like those who go down to the pit. Hear my cry for mercy as I call to you for help, as I lift up my hands toward your Most Holy Place," (Psalm 28:1-2).

What Would Jesus Do?

Growing Apart

The more I get to know God, the more it feels like I don't know my husband. This makes me sad ... and sometimes mad! While I want to enjoy growing old with him, a good part of me wonders if it is worth wanting. It would be so much easier to leave things the way they are and not work at it. So, why does it take so much work to make it work?

My husband and I should be at a place in our lives where we know each other like a book and like looking at our past to laugh at the silly mistakes we've made. But instead, we are at a turning point in our relationship where having a tooth pulled without Novocain is more inviting than a conversation over dinner. 

This is when the only thing I can do is ask myself: What would Jesus do? Jesus would listen more. Though I may not want to hear what my husband always has to say, I can be a better listener.

Focusing on Jesus

The more I learn about Jesus, the more I want to know Him better. When I seek and find Him, it is as if all the things in my life become filtered through His vision because my focus is pointed towards Christ and His love. It can't help but improve my mindset over any problem in life.

Since you are reading this, I can only assume that you are as concerned for your husband's soul as I am for mine. It is not easy being married to an unbeliever, and loneliness seems to knock constantly on my emotional door. Let me encourage you today to press in and make Jesus your best friend especially when your husband can't fill that need. Here are some simple ways to focus on Jesus.                 

Study

While it's great to hear about who Jesus is from church, the radio and television, the best way to get to know Him is through the Word of God. By studying His manual for our lives, we spend quality time with Him that ultimately, fills any hole of loneliness we might have.

I am sharing this with you because I too have to be careful not to substitute my Jesus time with things that only make the loneliness hole grow larger.

Looking For Love

 

It's important for me to feel loved and appreciated. When I don't feel that I'm getting love from my family I tend to feel sorry for myself. This causes me to be easily frustrated and not so pleasant to be around. I begin to focus on me and what my needs are. I focus on all the things I do for everyone and the things that are not being done for me. I find myself depending on the love of my family and not relying solely on the love of God. This is a dangerous place for me to be and I need to just stop and give God control. I need to get back to the basics and re-evaluate my priorities.

I need to remember that God is my source of love. He is love. When my eyes begin to drift in other places for love and attention its during those times when I'm experiencing a dry spell in my walk with Him. God's love is there but I don't feel it. God didn't move - I moved.

"The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing" Zephaniah 3:17 (NIV).

 

OUTSIDE THE BOX

Being the woman God has me to be inside my home is one thing. Being the woman God wants me to be outside my home is another. Frustration began to overcome me as I have striven to be the spiritual leader in the home. My desire for my  husband to take on this role had consumed me. It seemed as though my prayers were falling on deaf ears. I then felt that God was leading me to step outside the box. This would mean that I would have to step outside my comfort zone.

Standing on His Word

 
 

When I sat down today to write this article, this is what I wanted to say: Hello ladies! I hope you are having a wonderful time with your husband as I am with mine. He is so loving and thoughtful and sweet I just can't stand it.

But here is what I sit and write: Hello ladies. Please keep me in your prayers this week because I JUST CAN'T STAND IT! I just served him dinner and -- would it hurt to say thank you?

It's times like these that make me wonder how in the world can I serve him as unto the Lord. How in the world can I think I can encourage other ladies when I find it hard to be loving to my own husband. If there is anyone who knows the pain and anguish some of you ladies are going through - it's me. Lets go to scripture because I know I need some Holy Ghost guidance right now.

"But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint" (Isaiah 40:31 NIV).

Thy Will Be Done

Comfort in Him

I'd like to think that I am a strong woman of God who can withstand even the toughest storms. I'd like to think that because I  have Christ dwelling in my heart - my heart will never be broken.

I'd like to think that my husband is just around the corner to becoming that man of God I have conditioned myself to want so badly. I'd like to think that I can handle it if he does not become that man. I know that only God can determine where that "corner" for my husband is.

I also know that God gives me the strength I need when I feel I can't go on. I know that as I seek His face diligently, daily with all my heart and mind, I know that I will be comforted by the Holy Spirit. When I am weak, He is my strength. When my heart breaks, He heals my broken heart.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of god, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Phillippians 4:6,7 NIV).

 

Thy Will Be Done

There are times when being in the will of God seems effortless. God opens a door and in I walk. Yes Lord! Here am I! Those are the times when a praise song is always playing in my heart. Someone needs help at a church event? Sure! I'm there! Serving my family their favorite dinner? The loving smiles and compliments on a great meal makes me enjoy the clean up. And getting that pat on the back at work - can't wait to get up the next day and do it all over again. 

Log in My Eyes

 

The other day I decided to let my husband know "how I really felt." I thought he wanted to know when he asked me, "Honey, what's wrong?" I think you know where I went with this. To me, it was an opportunity to let him know what he was doing wrong in our marriage.

I thought he wanted to know how things in the past still bothered me. I thought he wanted me to tell him how he was supposed to fix my broken heart. I was on a roll that just kept on rolling. I had my finger moving in the shape of a "Z" and my neck was shifting my head from side to side. I had it going on girl! So I thought.

When I looked in the mirror of my heart I couldn't see my eyes! Why? Because not only did I have one log in one eye, I had a log in both my eyes!

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? Luke 6:41 (NIV)

Un-Forgiveness

It was a clear cool day. The kind that makes you want to take that long walk that you've been putting off. So - I'm feeling pretty good about myself and can feel God smiling down on me. I ask Him to search my heart and show me what I need to work on.

Unforgiveness. Lord? Did you just tell me I have unforgiveness in my heart? I am a praying woman of God. I ask for forgiveness more often than not. There was something hidden in the corner of my heart. Something I chose not to deal with. Something that I needed to hand over to God.

As I searched my heart I realized that I had been harboring a deep anger toward my husband and I didn't know what to do about it. I did what came easy to me - I ignored it. When it finally came to surface, I had to make a choice. Either it was going to control me or I would allow God to help me control it. I asked God to show me how to deal with this and I am going to share it with you.

Master Tune Up

From time to time I need to take our car in for a tune up. A basic tune up consists of changing the air and fuel filters, spark plugs, timing belts, and valves. In the same way, from time to time I need a tune up in my heart and spirit.

Living a Christian life with an unsaved spouse can put my spiritual engine into overdrive. I become weary as anger and bitterness creep into my heart. It becomes difficult to be pleasant and my patience runs low. It's during these times that I realize I need a MASTER TUNE UP in my heart.

Love Is...

You may remember the "Love is" comic strips that would appear in the Sunday paper. It was about a cartoon couple that clearly loved each other. The comic strip expressed love with clever notes like "Love is ... not asking her how much her new dress cost" or "Love is ... what causes you to loose your concentration".

I always looked forward to reading those comic strips. It became part of my fantasy relationship with my future husband. However, Love is much more than a cartoon comic strip. In my search for true love, I am thankful I found Jesus. Through Him I discovered real love.

Love is...God. God is love. He is the essence of what love is. If we have God in our hearts, we have love in our hearts and we can rely on His love. And it's God's love that can be the strength in your unequal marriage.

Walking With Jesus

Being married to an unbeliever sometimes places me on the battlefield of emotions. These emotions include fear, sadness, anger, and loneliness. But when I turn to God and seek His face, the love of Jesus  always brings comfort to my heart. Sometimes I make things too complicated in my walk with Christ when all He wants me to do is just that - walk with Him. Ladies, I want to tell you today that Jesus loves you and desires to walk with you through each moment of your days. Matthew 11:29 tells us the following:

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. (Matthew 11:29 NIV)

He hears your prayers, cries, and praises. When you are silent, He knows exactly what your heart is saying. That's the wonderful thing about serving God...He takes care of us even when we just don't seem to have the strength to carry on.

Lead us Not

Lead Us Not - Into Temptation

Temptation is all around us. It has no boundaries and could care less of your Christian morality. As a Christian woman, to be living a clean and moral life means a lot to me. As I glance from time to time into my past, I am so grateful as to where I now stand. But am I safe from the cold deceitful grips of temptations? Unfortunately not. Being lonely and sad in a marriage that seems to be going absolutely nowhere gives the enemy ammunition to put my attention on my longing to be loved, wanted and needed. I want to talk about this with you just in case I am not alone in this struggle - in this battle -  in the valley.

"And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one" (Matthew 6:13 NIV).

God did not put this in His Word for no reason. He put it there because He knows the nature of man. He knows that we will be faced with many forms of temptations so as to cause us to fall away from His grace. Before we go on, let's pray.

In The Word of God

The Word of God is treasure chest filled with everything we could possibly need for our lives. There is no situation we face that the Bible does not address. Something many of us share is that our husbands are non-believers, and I am so excited to say that the Bible is full of encouragement and wisdom to help us navigate this often tricky situation. Each day has its own problems when married to someone who does not acknowledge Jesus as Lord and Savior. However, each day also has it's own blessings and each morning we need to invite Jesus to spend the day with us.

Listen to my cry for help. My King and my God, for to you I pray. In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation. You are not a God who takes pleasure in evil; with you the wicked cannot dwell. Psalm 5:2-4 (NIV)

A Short Fuse

I don't know where my patience has been hiding lately. It masquerades as a stable emotion on the outside, but in reality my heart and soul have been abandoned to fend for themselves. I feel confused and anxious because every turn I take leads down a rocky road I'm trying to avoid.

I'm snapping at my kids and impatient with my husband. It seems like there is so much to do and so little time, and what time I DO have bounces between my job and my family. I'm behind work and at home, and I know many of you can relate because you are experiencing the same thing. However, rest assured that we are not alone. Jesus wants you to rest in Him.

Reflections

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

It's been quite a year and I am looking forward to entering the New Year with Jesus in my heart. When I look back on this year it's bittersweet. God has taken me on a journey that has brought growth into my spiritual life. When I first introduced myself to you I was married to an unbeliever. And as we come to the close of another year, I still am married to an un-believer. Have I come to a place where it gets easier? No. Not really.

When I look back on this year, I can see how God has changed my heart. Has he changed my husband's heart? I honestly don't know. I know God is doing something - but that's really between God and my husband. I learned that when I put too much focus on what God is doing with my husband it opens a huge door for disappointment when things don't go the way I think God should make them go.  So today I want to reflect on previous articles written earlier this year. Will you come with me down the Married to an Un-Believer's memory lane?  Let's go.

I'm Going to Praise Him

Greetings to you all! I pray that you are having a blessed week. I'm looking forward to our first holiday season together. Christmas is approaching us quickly and I want to encourage you to allow the joy of the Lord to lead you through to the coming New Year. 

Giving praise to our Lord is a vital part of living the Christian life. I love the way David praised the Lord. He was not ashamed nor was he afraid to express his love for God through song and dance.  An important part of my daily living is giving praise to God.

Praise the Lord. How good it is to sing praises to our God, how pleasant and fitting to praise Him! The Lord builds up Jerusalem; he gathers the exiles of Israel. He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. (Psalm 147:1-3 NIV)

Seeking Jesus Each Day

There are many ways we can see God throughout the day. But the only way you will see Him is if you seek Him. Each morning when I am blessed with another day, I thank the Lord. When I have no words to form, I just say, "Thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus." Ladies, if you look for God each day you will find Him.

Glory in Him name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice. Look to the Lord and His strength; seek His face always. Remember the wonders he has done,  his miracles, and the judgments he pronounced. (1 Chron. 16:10-12 NIV)

Married to an Un-Believer

Greetings from winter-bound Santa Fe, New Mexico! I hope you all have been having a blessed change of season.

Married to an Un-Believer

Here's a question to ponder - How is the life of a Christian woman when she is married to an un-believer? This question can be answered in many ways. This question is answered in many ways. Being married to an un-believer could feel just fine at times. It can be likened to the surface of an ocean or stream. On the top appears to be smooth and peaceful but the undercurrent can be deadly. Underneath the smooth tranquilizing layer of water are animals that can eat you alive and animals that can give you a sting that would make you wish you were being eaten alive. Today I want to talk about the blessings of being married to an un-believer.

Being married to an un-believer can feel like a curse. It could make us feel lonely, betrayed, depressed, sad and the stress can feel unbearable and even make us feel like we are going insane. But I want to let you know that being married to an un-believer is simply this - it's a blessing. WHAT! Could this be? Yes, my friend. If you are in the midst of a spiritual battle or are struggling with the fact that your husband is an un-believer, it may be hard to believe that this situation is a blessing and not a curse. We are the daughters of the King of kings. He delivered us from evil. Jesus died to give us life - not death.

Count it All Joy

 

Greetings from beautiful Santa Fe, New Mexico! I pray that you all are having a blessed day in the Lord. If you are having a good week, remember to lift up those who are not. If you are having a bad week remember to sing praises to the Lord. I want to share with you some of my favorite scriptures and how I see them on good days and not so good days. So lets get into the Word.

Let's look at these scriptures in two different ways.  When we are in a good mood and everything seems to be flowing like milk and honey and we read a certain scripture, we feel a warm wonderful feeling and it is clear that God has just blessed our spirit and we just want to shout to the world how wonderful it is to be a Christian! But read that same scripture when the world seems to be crashing in on us and that scripture just doesn't feel the same.

Consider it Pure Joy

Consider is pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perserverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete,  not lacking anything. (James 1:2-4 NIV)

On a good day this scripture is not hard to swallow. It brings a joy that you know God will bring us through rough times. On a good day this passage causes us to reflect on those days that have passed and we have no desire for them to return. We reflect on the lesson we were taught and give thanks to God for seeing us through. We can truly consider it pure joy when we see the finished product of what test we persevered through.

The Apple of God's Eye

 

Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings. Psalm 17:8 (NIV)

David was the apple of God's eye just as you and I are. Our husbands are the apples of His eye - they just don't know it yet. We have the privilege of knowing just how much God loves them and how much He desires them to be delivered from the grasp of satan's deceitful grip. Let's talk about some of the emotions we are faced with on the battlefield. This may sound crazy to some of you but there are times when I love being on the battlefield. Especially when the Commander in Chief is Christ Jesus himself!

WHAT WORMS ARE IN YOUR APPLE?

• Anger Pain Problems Loneliness Envy (APPLE)

These emotions represent the worms that want to invade your apple. And let's say that the apple represents the fruit of the Spirit. What do I do with them when they try to worm their way in my apple? I hand them over to Jesus and accept what He has for me - the Fruits of the Spirit. I love reading about the fruit of the Spirit.

Change of Guard

Change can be a good thing. It does not always feel good but it can be a refreshing experience. I remember when my father retired from the military after more than 30 years of service. This was a change that my mother had a hard time accepting. During my dad's career, he would be gone to sea for months at a time. This gave my mother time to miss him and appreciate him in his absence. This also put my mother in  position to have full control of what goes on in the house without him around. And she did a great job!  She was the rule maker. The disciplinarian. She was our sole caretaker and spread her love to four children skillfully.

Then came the time for my father's retirement. My mother had already gone through the empty nest change and now was about the make another shift. My father was home and leaving was now a thing of their past. Not only was he always home, but a change had occurred in him. He became more attentive to my mother. He seemed to be more protective and concerned of her whereabouts.

You would think this was a dream for my mother. NOT! It drove her crazy! I can't say I know the particulars of her story but from my point of view, it was a turn of events for both of them. My mother told me that she had to get used to their being together all the time. Her alone time was gone. Two worlds collided in a new way and they found themselves together - all the time. There was nothing wrong with that; they just weren't used to it. It pleases me to say with determination, they were able to blend their lives together again. I want to share with you how this relates to a wife whose husband is not saved. I hope this helps someone. 

The Golden Rule

 

When my husband and I are not on good speaking terms it can get pretty lonely. It's not just that I don't have a companion to share my thoughts with - but the fact that the man I chose to spend my life with is here but not here at the same time.

Questions about who I am become unclear and I begin to wonder if this crack in our marriage is my fault. Nevertheless, Jesus is right here for me and, if he would allow Him, for my husband as well. It is during these times I need to get into the Word. It is at these times when I don't have that fuzzy, wuzzy, hallelujah feeling to want to get into the Word. Why am I here? Why do I feel this way? It seems to me that this marriage isn't going to work and I'm not sure I want it to work. I know with all my heart that God does not want me to feel this way but at times I do feel this way. It's easy to not want to work at my relationship with my husband or with anyone else for that matter. If he's not expecting me to talk to him, then he shouldn't expect me to do anything for him either. Right? WRONG!

I don't like to have to say this, but when I seek the will of my heavenly Father, what He has to say is far from what I sometimes feel. Like ignoring my responsibility as a wife, mother, friend - a Christian. To me it will be easier just to leave it alone and not deal with it. Maybe it will go away and we can just move on to the next lesson. My pastor says that we won't graduate until we pass the test. How true this is. I'd be okay to just leave things alone for a while.  But not to my surprise, my Lord had other plans for me. I'm so glad I have Jesus. I want to share with you how the The Golden Rule was applied to my life on this wonderful day.

Be Ye Angry and Sin Not

 

"Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down on your wrath" (Ephesians 4:26 KJV).

Dealing With Anger

Anger. Oh my! What a heavy word. This word is loaded with emotions that can go every which way but up. And up is where we should make it go. Being married to an un-believer brings to surface a variety of emotions. As women we already have our share of emotions to deal with. My husband told me several years ago that I liked being mad. That made me mad. I did not like being mad and I didn't realize it until then that I was always mad. Anger weighed heavy on my heart and made me anxious, insecure and fearful. I always thought I had a good reason to be mad. Boy, was I deceived. I was so accustomed to being mad that when I wasn't mad at anyone else, I was mad at myself. This is a dark place to be and when you allow the light of Christ to shine in your life, His light will drive away that darkness. Peace will then set in. When I rededicated my life to Christ, among other things, I did not want to carry the burden of anger anymore. It was like a disease I couldn't get rid of it. I needed to get immunized with a shot of the Holy Ghost for my anger. I needed to be set free.

"I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free" (Psalms 119:32 NIV).

Some of the things that would make me angry were the things I had no control over. Events that had occurred in the past that I could not change. I had no control over my husband's beliefs. I had no control over what my husband thought about me. I could not change my husband the way I thought I could before we got married. He wasn't changing the way he was supposed to! I allowed anger to contaminate my relationship with my husband because he didn't turn out to be that fairy tale "knight in shining armor". Another deception. This brought and kept pain alive in my heart. Pain evolved into anger and in my heart, like growing mold on old cheese, resentment was born which in turn began to kill love.

The Lord is my Shepherd

I would like to begin this article with a prayer for you. Lord Jesus, I adore you. I praise you and thank you for this day. Cleanse my heart and forgive me of my sins. Accept my gift of praise to you and fill my heart with your Spirit. Father I lift up to you women who are married to an un-believer and who seek your guidance. Give them the gift of wisdom and the strength they need for each day. Lord I pray for their husbands. Give their husbands the desire in their hearts to want to know who you are. Father, I pray for the salvation of these men and pray that they will be the man of God you have destined them to be. Thank you Lord for their salvation and for the many lives they will be a testament to. In the precious name of your son Jesus, Amen.

As we seek the Lord for guidance in our marriages and as we allow the Holy Spirit to give us wisdom, there will be moments when we just want to quit. Quit praying, quit being nice, quit cooking, quit being married - just quit. But the Bible tells us to not be weary in doing good. Friends and family members would encourage me to not to give up. Hear my heart as I encourage you to not give up. The following scripture always comforts me when my soul is tired:

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.  Galatians 6:9

Weeping in the Night - Joy in the Morning

All week long I have been thinking about what to say to you. I asked the Lord and heard nothing. I tried to put this article together and found myself speechless. Then a still quiet voice began to say, "Tell them I love them." But I kept telling myself that there must be more to say. Sometimes we just need to get back to the basics and keep things simple. I just want to tell you today that Jesus loves you.

This week I felt overwhelmed with work and not knowing what to cook for dinner. The laundry grew out of control and it was a trial to get anyone to clean their rooms. I tried to tell myself that the joy of the Lord is my strength. But the truth is - I didn't feel joyous at all. I felt lonely, hurt and rejected. My life seemed to be at a difficult place. There's just no prettier way to say it. Please tell me I'm not the only one who has to deal with these feelings. My emotions got the best of me. I know that there is joy in Jesus. But sometimes I just want to sit and cry. And many times I do. Right now I feel that the Lord just wants me to simply share His love and to be real. So l ask that you keep me in your prayers.

They That Wait Upon the Lord (The Importance of Being Patient)

Patience, a fruit of the Spirit

Hello Ladies!  I hope you all have had a blessed week.  Please feel free to share with the "Married to an Un-Believer"group a testimony you may have.  We'd love to hear from.  So, let's talk about the importance of being patient.  It is so important to have patience while God is working on our husbands.  When you understand that there is going to be a waiting period between your request to God and His answer, you will have a peace that surpasses all understanding.  Know and believe that God is in control and His timing is perfect.  If it were up to us, our husbands would not only be serving the Lord but would also be involved in some type of ministry.  And he'd be doing it NOW.  If this is your heart's desire - then let me encourage you to be patient with what God is doing.  Don't give up!  Keep praying for your husband even when it seems impossible.  Always remember that there is nothing too impossible for God!  It would bless me to no end to see my husband involved in some type of ministry.  But for now, I remain blessed for who he is.

Throughout the years of my Christian living, I have often heard that praying for patience is not such a good thing to pray for.  That if you pray for patience, you soon will regret it.  The Bible tells us that patience is one of the fruits of the Spirit.  It is a gift from God and a treasure to behold.  Here's what the Bible says about having patience:

A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11

Seek Ye First the Kingdom of God

Hello Ladies!  My name is Karen Evans and I am married to an un-believer.  Being married to an un-believer has its ups and downs. But when you allow the joy of the Lord to be your strength, the joy of the Lord will be your strength.  When I began addressing the issue that I was distressed about my husband not being a believer, a friend of mine told me to "be nice" to him.  Now, as some of you may know, being nice to your husband who is not always nice to you can be a difficult task.  Especially when you know he's not a praying man.  My friend told me that maybe God wanted to change me first.  "WHAT?  But I'm already changed!  I have Jesus Christ living in me!  He's the one that needs to change!"  Ladies, as much as it hurt to hear it, she was right.  We need to remember that God is not finished with us yet and we need to allow Him to continue His work in us so He can continue His work through us. 

As I sought the Lord through the Word and through prayer,  my desire to be in His will grew each day.  I began to look forward to being that light in my husband's life.  I wish I could tell you that there is a certain thing to do and your husband will be saved - but I can't.  If there is one thing I want to really express to you right now, it's to simply seek the Lord.  Ask God what is His plan for you.  He may want you to be more neighborly to your neighbors or to get involved in a ministry at your church. Being married to a non-believer isn't a punishment. Although the devil will want you to believe that it is. God knows exactly where you are. He knows exactly how you feel. And most importantly, He knows how much you can withstand. You are in a special place and God has great plans for you.