Take Root and Write

Personalities to the Extreme

Every personality has its strengths and weaknesses. In fact, the weaknesses we display tend to be our strengths carried to the extreme. You many wonder how that can be; isn’t more of a good thing even better? Not necessarily.

Extreme Sanguine

Sanguine personalities have many wonderful traits. They brighten up a room and are full of fun. They are gifted conversationalists, people magnets, and spontaneous.

But, let’s look at the Extreme Sanguine. When they take their ability to brighten a room too far, they become attention seekers who must always be in the spotlight. In a classroom setting they become the “class clown” often to the dismay of their teacher.

When taken to the extreme, their natural ability to talk can prevent others from getting a word into the conversation. Their ability to draw people to them often leaves friends feeling left out or forgotten because a sanguine has so many friends vying for their attention. Lastly, their spontaneity can translate to a failure to plan ahead and being late to everything. If you are a sanguine, be aware of these extreme traits and try to temper them so you operate in your strengths.

Extreme Choleric

The choleric personality is a natural leader and problem solver. They can  assess a situation and make instant decisions. They are very practical and tend to easily cut through the “fluff” and get to the heart of the matter.

These are all great traits, but, when taken to the extreme, they become weaknesses. For example, a choleric person’s ability to lead sometimes becomes a curse of bossiness. Their problem-solving skills can become unappreciated when a friend or family member just wants a sympathetic ear instead of a lecture explaining how to fix the problem.

The practical nature of a choleric often prevents an exchange of creative ideas when he or she wants to solve a problem quickly instead of "wasting" precious time considering other options. This will drive a non-choleric spouse crazy and easily stifles the creative nature of child who doesn't share the same tendencies. Choleric Extreme needs to take time to breathe, smell the roses, and bite their tongues when others try to express themselves.

Extreme Melancholy

Melancholy personalities are sensitive, full of grace and surround themselves with beautiful things. They tend to be time conscious so are seldom late to engagements. They can catch a vision and strive to achieve it with a focus many others can only hope to display.

But, just like the other personalities, melancholies often take things to the extreme. The graceful melancholy quickly becomes critical if people around them infringe on his or her beauty, or mess up their organized surroundings. If you turn exuberant children loose in the immaculate home of a typical melancholy, this personality will have a hard time dealing with the chaos invading their world and will probably let you know it.

Because of their time-sensitive nature, they will keep everyone on schedule or kill themselves trying. They also have little patience with those who have no concept of time. Lastly, their attempts to create the vision they see in their minds often leaves them discouraged if the dream is not accomplished. They can be critical of others, as well as themselves when they feel things fall short of perfection. Because of their sensitive nature, when things don't go like they expect, they have the potential to get really down emotionally.

Extreme Phlegmatic

Everyone loves a phlegmatic. This person is easy-going, non-confrontational, and tends to go with the flow, no matter where the flow is going. They are great listeners with a diplomatic approach to just about any situation.

But, just like the other personalities, even this relaxed person can take things to the extreme. They can get so relaxed they never get anything done and you wonder if they even have a pulse. For example, bills may not get paid on time, or the trash stacks up in the kitchen because the “relaxed” phlegmatic will take care of it tomorrow.

The fact that they are non-confrontational prevents them from sharing things that need to be brought out in the open, like relational difficulties. Actually, things don’t often bother a phlegmatic personality because they will “go with the flow” and naturally adjust to any situation they face. Of course, this can cause a big blow out later that may have been avoided by addressing it sooner.

Lastly, when a phlegmatic takes listening to the extreme, they don’t talk. That can be a problem when others want to converse with the low-keyed and quiet phlegmatic.

No personality is perfect, but if we can identify the areas where we take our natural strengths to the extreme, we can be address our weak tendencies before we hurt feelings, offend others, or neglect the ones we love.

(c) 2010 Shona Neff

Why Should I Understand the Personalities?

Why should we care about understanding The Personalities? This should be an easy answer, but as people we can make it more difficult. God created each one of us to be an unique being. There are no two people alike (not even twins).

Yet, the Lord knows and understands each one of us. It's no surprise to Him when. . .

• one person talks and talks and talks for hours
• another person will think about a project so long that it never reaches completion
• one barks orders to reach a goal
• and yet another one sleeps through it all

Think about it. . .would one of those behaviors annoy you? Most likely the characteristic that annoys you the most is the opposite of your natural personality.

Each one of us is born with a personality already determined by our Maker. Of course, life circumstances and events shape who we ultimately become, but our personality (even if sometimes hidden) remains consistent. As believers in Christ, we're commanded "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone" (Romans 12:18, NIV).

Let's look at the phrase "If possible." That means it is possible, but sometimes irreconcilable differences will exist. We see an example of that in Acts when Saul and Barnabas decided to go separate ways because of their disagreement over Mark.

Personalities at the Gym

During my many years as an adult, I’ve had a love/hate relationship with working out and getting to the gym on a regular basis. However, since I have become familiar with the personalities and love to people watch, it adds a new dimension to my visits to the local house of “blood, sweat, and tears.”

This week we are going to explore the personalities and their approach to the gym and physical fitness.

Sanguine

If a sanguine thinks working out is fun, they have enough energy to be very physically fit. However, most people with this personality don’t think sweat and sore muscles are fun. Sanguine men and women both tend to strike up conversations when working out because of their propensity to talk and, if they can find another loquacious sanguine, they are in heaven.

The most identifiable sanguine at the gym tends to be female; they often to move in packs. Sanguines love to talk, but if they are surrounded by friends they are more likely to give physical exertion a try. I remember a giant group of middle-aged sanguine women who frequented the gym I did. When they were all there at the same time, the entire facility knew what they had done the past weekend and their plans for the next.

Pet Personalities

Have ever you watched animals and recognized certain behaviors of family members? In a loving way, my husband and I have compared each other to animals for this reason. He sometimes refers to me as cat because I want to do things my way. At times, I'll refer to him as a dog for he wants attention.

Being the pet lover I am, I learn from watching animals. In Proverbs 30, the writer wrote about many animals applying life lessons from each of them. The list includes the ravens, vultures, an eagle, a snake, ants, rock badgers, locusts, a lizard, a lion who retreats from nothing, a strutting rooster, and a he-goat.

Matthew recorded the words of Jesus who taught us not to worry. "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" (Matthew 6:26, NIV) Jesus instructed us to learn from the birds.

After Job lost everything he had, his friends came over to give him a pep talk. In one of his replies to his friends, he stated:

"But ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds of the air, and they will tell you; or speak to earth, and it will teach you, or let the fish of the sea inform you. Which of all these does not know that the hand of the LORD has done this? In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind" (Job 12:7-10, NIV).

Back to the Basics: Emotional Needs

I first wrote about the emotional needs of The Personalities almost two years ago in a post called “Fill ‘er Up – Emotional Needs, Parts 1 and 2.” It isn’t enough to identify one’s personality; we need to know how to approach them in a way that speaks to who they are and how to meet their emotional needs. So, here we go!

Sanguine

Our bright, lively, and lovable sanguine has needs that go hand in hand with their love of people and desire to have fun.

• Attention – Sanguine people love to be the center of attention, which makes perfect sense because they are fun-loving, great story tellers, and people magnets. They thrive when they are center stage with all eyes focused on them.

• Affection – These individuals are touchy, feely people. My youngest son is a sanguine who loves to sit next to me on the couch and walk with his arm around my neck. Being a typical phlegmatic, I’m not overly affectionate, but I make a point of giving Eric love pats and hugs because of his emotional needs.

• Approval/Acceptance – Sanguines need to feel loved. They seek approval in everything they do and want acceptance from those around them. It is easy for them to feel out-of-sorts if they don't feel loved and accepted by everyone they meet.

Back to the Basics: Behavioral Clues

Have you ever wondered why people behave the way they do? Has someone in your group annoyed you by talking too loud? Do you know someone who just takes over any situation? Have you met a person that wants to share every detail with you and you just want the point? What about the person who doesn’t seem to care about anything? Today, Purely Personalities is revisiting the basics of The Personalities for our long time readers and all new readers.

Every person is born with a different God-given personality. There are common identifiable clues of each of the four personality types--Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholy, and Phlegmatic. Over the last month, Shona Neff wrote about the history and visual clues of the personalities. In today's article, I'm going to address the behavioral clues using my family as examples.

The Sanguine

The Sanguine personality is commonly known as the talker. She loves to be around people, often making friends easily. This person can think up creative ideas, but isn't so good at following through on all of them. A Sanguine person loves to be wherever the activity is. She can usually draw a crowd by entertaining them with stories and with her magnetic personality.

As a Sanguine, I can relate to all the above behavioral clues. I can go to Wal-Mart and meet several people I've never met before. We'll strike up a conversation about anything. After a few minutes, I move on and my husband will ask me, "Who was that?" When I tell him I didn’t know who she was, he says, "You two were talking like you knew each other forever." Other times, I'll stay at a church function until the last person is locking the door because I do not want to miss any activity.

Back to the Basics; Visual Clues

"Purely Personalities" has decided to take a stroll down memory lane and revisit the the basics. Last time we met, we studied the history of The Personalities. If you’d like to travel back even further (to August 2008) you can read one of the original Take Root and Write posts dealing with this same subject.

Today, let’s review the visual clues of each of the four personality types which includes sanguine, choleric, melancholy, and phlegmatic.

Sanguine

Sanguine personalities are usually full of energy seasoned with a kaleidoscope of color. These bright and lively people talk as well with their hands as with their voices. It is hard to miss the large gestures and booming voice that often accompanies a talkative sanguine.

When it comes to clothing, sanguine women love bright colors and, in most cases, flamboyant jewelry, huge handbags, and shoes, shoes, shoes! Although sanguine men can also have ornate tastes, they usually display it more subtly than their female counterparts. For example, they may wear brightly colored ties, funky socks, rainbow suspenders, or fun hats.

Back to the Basics: The History

“Purely Personalities” has been a part of Take Root and Write since its inception in June 2008. In the beginning, this column introduced readers to the basic components of this fascinating subject. Over the next several posts, Shonda Savage-Whitworth and I are going to go back to the basic for our long-time readers, which will also provide a thorough background for the readers who are new to “Purely Personalities”.

Hippocrates

Considered the father of modern-day medicine, Hippocrates lived around 460-400 BC. He is the first person who identified the four distinct personality types and researched the topic in depth. His observations have stood the test of time, however his theory of why people have different personalities has been replaced by more modern science.

Hippocrates theorized that an individual’s personality was caused by the the fluids most prevalent in his or her body. However, today we understand that our personalities are determined by our DNA and affected by our life experiences.

We Need Each Other

He said. She said. Who’s right?

It depends on the perspective. God gave each person individual gifts and we’re each to use the gifts given to the best of our ability. Yet, in many places each of us fall short—that’s why we need each other.

Visiting with a cousin, I mentioned that I felt like I was the only one in the family who doesn’t sew or crochet. I’ve tried each of those crafty skills, but I just cannot sit long enough to be patient with it. It does really take a special talent to use those gifts.

We need each other to fulfill the needs of others. It becomes a problem when we do not recognize our own short comings and expect others to be just like us. I think that by understanding the strengths and weaknesses of the personalities it will help us to realize where our personality lacks certain gifts. God usually places people in our family and circle of friends with different personalities around us to help each other.

Sanguine

A few strengths of the Sanguine personality are she loves people, makes friends easily, thrives on activity, and is an entertaining story teller. Because these are strengths, these traits may be used frequently, but strengths used to the extreme can become weaknesses. For example, as a Sanguine, I enjoy being around people, but I especially like to converse. Yet, if I am not aware of my tendency to talk too much, people may avoid me for fear they may not get a word in or be able to breakaway to get to an appointment or activity.

Holiday Gatherings and The Personalities

Most people attend more parties in December than they do the rest of the year. We have office parties, church celebrations, children’s parties, our club gatherings and so on and so on.

Inevitably, the more people we come in contact with, the more opportunities arise for personality conflicts. However, if we are familiar with The Personalities, we can understand why people display certain mannerisms and help others comprehend why Aunt Susie must talk all the time. Or why Cousin Kate is usually telling everyone what to do, and why Melody, keeps rearranging the table while everyone else is gathering for the family photo. And why, oh why Phil is never excited or emotional about anything going on around him?

Let us start by using visual clues to identify each personality and how communicate effectively with each personality trait through the festivities.

Popular Sanguine

For the most part, the Popular Sanguine is the easiest to identify. Just listen for the person speaking the loudest with the most people gathered listening to her stories. She may be dressed with the flashiest colors because Sanguines have a tendency to want to be noticed.

If you’re a Popular Sanguine such as Aunt Susie, when at the holiday parties and gatherings, you may want to limit your conversations and give other people a chance to speak. If you’re telling a really great story and you are interrupted, only resume the story if asked. As a Sanguine, I know it is disappointing when no one asks me to resume my story; maybe it wasn’t such a great story after all. Try asking other people questions about their lives. Then REALLY listen to their answer without interrupting with your thoughts.

If you are not a Popular Sanguine and this personality tends to annoy you, try some of these simple communication tips for the sake of peace. Give Aunt Susie your full attention without glancing around the room or at other people. Show her your approval with the nodding of the head, but be sincere and authentic avoiding to many “uh-huhs.” Perhaps relating to her on a specific point will show her you really care. That will make her day.

Personalities and Preparing for the Holidays

The Holiday Season, which includes Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's, is just around the corner. Many of us are giddy with anticipation thinking of family, fun, food, and festivities; others of us secretly cringe at the prospect of family, fun, food, and festivities. Much of our holiday outlook is affected by our individual personality which, in turn, affects how we act and react during the whirlwind that blows between Thanksgiving and the end of each year.

We are going to explore how each personality approaches the festivities, as well as strategies that will help us enjoy this time of year without getting burned out or angry at others. Don't stress over the holidays; focus on being thankful and celebrating the babe in the manager. Let's learn to use The Personalities as part of our preparation so we can get enjoy family, fun, food, festivities, and experience Happy Holidays!

Happy Holidays with the Sanguine

When sanguine people think of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years, their thoughts turn to turkey, tinsel, and fun times in Time Square. They love to celebrate and when they have a good reason, they get giddy! The more the better: more people sitting at the Thanksgiving table, more Christmas lights to brighten the tree and the neighborhood, and more presents to give to others and receive. Sanguines love it all. They make great hostesses and love to invite everyone into their home. Everything is fun and festive in sanguine world.

However, if you are a sanguine, don't try to do it all or you will burn out before the last candle on New Year's Eve. Because sanguine people enjoy celebrating, they often forgo sleep for fear of missing something fun! They also tend to be people pleasers and will try to mold the holidays into everyone's expectations. I knew a lady whose family depended on her to make their Christmas special. Not only did she enjoy spending money (a character trait of many sanguine personalities), but she also knew that her family expected it. She wanted to please everyone so she overspent, planned a spectacular celebration at her home, and was exhausted and mad after every Christmas.

So, if you are a sanguine don't be afraid to say 'no' when others expect too much of you, watch your spending when tempted to spend too much, and don't worry if you miss some of the action if you need to rest. No one brightens up the holidays like you, so make sure you are at your sanguine best!

Thanksgiving and Christmas with the Choleric

Choleric personalities make the holidays happen. They know what needs to be done, and they do it. My husband, Warren, is choleric. When we got married I told him that turkey insides "grossed me out" and that I was never, ever going to stick my hand inside a turkey cavity, and I haven't. Warren cooks most of our Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner while I putter around browning the rolls and making stuffing. He also makes sure the holiday lights are brightening our house and front lawn the weekend after Turkey Day.

Lots of things get done by the cholerics we all love, but they also need to make sure they don't get burned out or "burned up" at people. Choleric personalities like to have things done their way; they can enjoy a smoother holiday season if they avoid their tendency to get bossy with others if they are working in the kitchen or if family feuds start to flare up during the festivities. If you are a mission-minded choleric, don't be afraid to exercise flexibility and let some projects go undone during holiday celebrations; do what you do best and let go of the rest.

Melancholy - The Beauty of the Season

Do you enjoy the beauty of Thanksgiving and Christmas? If you do, give thanks for all the melancholy personalities of the world. Much of the music we enjoy this time of year came from the heart and mind of melancholy composers and musicians. If someone you know decorates their home with impeccable and stylish Christmas flare, there is a good chance they are of the melancholy persuasion. They have an eye for beauty and it benefits all who see it during the holidays. They are gracious hostesses and you feel like a king or queen when you attend a function in their home because they will treat you like royalty.

Because melancholy personalities strive for perfection, they tend to be more idealistic with their expectations during the holiday season. If you are melancholy, I encourage you to make an extra effort to relax and enjoy the reason for the season: Jesus' birthday. He loves that you want everything to be just right, but more than anything He doesn't want you to be discouraged if things are not perfect. Do the best you can to make this time of year beautiful, but don't be discouraged if the end results fall short of your expectations.

Peace on Earth - Phlegmatic

Every home should be blessed with a phlegmatic during November and December; they tend to add a calming effect amid all the chaos of family, fun, food, and festivities. Where strife is, peace will intersect if a phlegmatic is in the area. Where flexibility is needed, they create yielded hearts. When things are less than perfect, this peace-emitting personality captures contentment and shares it with everyone. Since phlegmatic people can go with the flow in just about any circumstance, they help other others keep things in perspective.

However, if you are a phlegmatic it is OK to sit by the fire on a cold Christmas night, but don't forget to share yourself with others; you have lots to offer so don't hide it from the world when you have an opportunity to be with others. Enjoy your quiet time reading in the recliner, but don't be afraid to leave the comfort of your chair for a nice walk on a crisp day or a get together with those you love and who love you.

I wish everyone a wonderful Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. My prayer for you is that you will apply your knowledge of The Personalities with everyone you encounter this holiday season. Not only will you bless yourself, but you will also bless those around you.

Wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving, a Merry Christmas, and Blessed New Year!

 

(c)2009 Shona Neff

Personalities in Commercial Advertising

Advertising is everywhere we go. It has even invaded the Internet world. Whenever I want to watch a video clip or check the weather, I’m forced to watch an ad before I can see what I really want to see. Because of the invasion of advertising, I started to notice how targeted advertising is connected with different personality traits.

Have you ever wondered why one of your friends will love a particular commercial, while you think it is dumb? It’s not that one of you is dumb; it often has more to do with different personality traits being attracted to media campaigns that match a particular personality. Advertisers spend millions of dollars every year analyzing the right type of ads that will meet their target audience. Some companies even make a variation of ads to reach different types of people and markets. Let’s take a look at some advertisements I’ve analyzed over the past few weeks and compare them to the four personality traits.

Sanguine

A person with the Sanguine personality is usually all about having fun in groups. The typical Sanguine is not a loner and prefers to be part of a group. When in the crowd she is usually the person who is the center of attention because she knows how to be humorous and energetic. Typically the cheerleader, she can get others to follow her lead. Vacation commercials, such as Sandals, usually appeal to the Sanguine personality.

Adult Personalities In Youth Sports

 
Any of us with children have probably experienced youth sports whether in the form of watching our kids skillfully playing with balls, running around a track or across the terrain around town, or going "hand-to-hand" trying to pin their wrestling opponent to the mat. Not only is youth sports a great place to watch our young athletes, it is also a very interesting place to observe personalities in the bleachers and on the sidelines.

Sanguine

Sanguine adults affiliated with youth sports are usually team cheerleaders. They tend to be the ones yelling an encouraging word to the team, or the occasional (sometimes frequent) ugly epithet at the umpire or referee. They often show up brightly decorated in the team colors or jerseys that let the entire world know which athlete/team they belong to. You know they are really sanguine if they accent their team attire with giant bows in their hair, like my niece Alycia (left with her little brother).

These same adults often make great coaches because they are so fun. They tend to joke with their athletes, display an enthusiastic and upbeat attitude, plus they seldom yell. However, one weakness in many sanguine coaches is that they may not be as serious as their more competitive team members and parents.

During my boys' youth sport careers, one baseball coach stands out. She coached my youngest son in Little League Baseball and the boys all loved her. She was full of knowledge, but more than anything, she was fun, fun, fun! What eleven-year-old baseball team wouldn't love a reprieve of unlimited paintball games between games at the state Little League tournament? They may have lost the tourney, but Eric still talks about those hours of paintball courtesy of their sanguine (and generous) coach.

Driving Personalities

I've been driving in the rush hour traffic a lot more these days since both my son and I returned to school this fall. During this time, I've observed various driving styles. As I thought about it, driving styles could possibly reveal a person's personality type (at least the personality trait being displayed at that very moment as most of us have personality blends). The early morning and afternoon traffic times creates pressure on people when they're driving. I can now differentiate those drivers who are prepared to those who are not. Let's explore some of the possibilities of personalities while driving.

The Sanguine Driver

The sanguine personality likes to talk—a lot. She will find ways to talk even when alone, so that means using the cellular phone. While cruising along in traffic, I may be able to spot a sanguine driver as she converses on her cell phone. If she has an ear piece or hands free device you'll see her head moving around and one of her hands flailing about the vehicle. Then she'll realize at the last moment she wanted to turn right and she's in the left lane. Quickly she'll turn her head to check for traffic, turn on her blinker, and if fairly safe, dart across the traffic to execute her turn. Another sanguine driver may not be talking on her cell phone at the moment, but rushing because she already returned home to retrieve an item she forgot that she needed for the day. I know that person because I AM that person. Or I'll check to make sure I have everything I need five times before I leave causing me to leave later than planned.

Personalities and Customer Service

In addition to my writing and speaking activities, I work part-time at my local dry cleaner/laundromat and must admit it is one of the most enjoyable jobs I've ever had. Living in a small town means that many of my friends and acquaintances bring in their dirty laundry. (Sorry for the pun, I couldn't resist.) This provides a great opportunity to catch up with people even when I'm working. Another perk is the parade of personalities that file past the counter during a given shift. That is probably the most interesting aspect of my job. So, this week we are going to explore customer service personalities.

The Sanguine Customer

Typical of the sanguine personality, these customers are bright, lively, and always enjoy an over-the-counter chat. I have fun accommodating their talkative nature except when I have a long line of waiting customers; I must graciously move them along. They tend to bring in some of the most vibrant and interesting garments; bold colors and patterns, fringe, colored fur and feathers, and big buttons in every shape imaginable.

One of our customers brought in a simple yet elegant wedding dress. She was talkative and shared the following story: the dress was obtained from a friend who said the bride-to-be could have it if she was willing to pay to get the yellow stain on the front removed. The delighted sanguine brought us the soiled dress and shared her plans to wear it for her upcoming nuptials at an Elvis wedding chapel in Las Vegas, Nevada. Either the wedding did not happen or she completely forgot about it, because the dress is still hanging on the rack almost a year later. By the way, the yellow stains came out nicely.

Back to School

Well, it's finally here! Back to school our children go. Some mothers are relieved as they will have time to make the hair and nail appointments they've put off to spend time with the kiddos. Other mom's will be missing their little ones throughout the day. Regardless of which one we are, the kids are back in school (unless you're a homeschooling mom then you're still with those little blessings all day).

After homeschooling my youngest son, Chase, for the past five years, he returned to the public school system for the seventh grade. He's very athletic and competitive. Our state does not allow homeschooled children to participate in University Interscholastic League (UIL). Because of that, we enrolled him in school so he could participate in UIL competitions.

Last week we attended orientation to be briefed on rules and, most importantly, receive the classroom schedule. Did he get the classes he signed up for? Yes! Except one, but we didn't request a change since all the important classes were fine. At the orientation, nearly one thousand students and parents filled the school. I loved watching how all the different personalities behaved.

The Sanguine

While standing in line to pick up schedules, the Sanguine personalities were hard to miss. They laughed, giggled, and never stopped talking. Once the exuberant students received their schedule, they raced to friends and compared schedules with each other. A dramatic, "Ahhh bummer!" was a clear sign that something was not going to be fun. "Oh, that's so cool we have all our afternoon classes together! How fun!" meant a party was just around the corner. Sanguines are all about having a good time. Even if it is something boring, they will find a way to turn it into a game. Sanguines like to talk and play, so these students will most likely be the talkers in class. They will also want to "study" with friends.

Personalities and Church Harmony

Fellowship and church attendance are important components of the Christian life. However, when so many diverse personalities are thrown together, it's no wonder that there is as much conflict inside God's house as is there is outside. Understanding The Personalities is a wonderful tool for interacting with your Christian brothers and sisters. The ability to identify the traits and the emotional needs of those around us not only reduces conflict, but can help us target the places where people will excel in our church communities. The four different personalities are like voices in a choir; when they all sing their individual parts, they make beautiful music together. Today, we are going to look at how use The Personalities to more effectively place people in areas that will help our congregations work in harmony.

The Spirited Sanguine

Sanguine personalities are typically the cheerleaders in a group. They are great motivators and can make any activity look like fun. They are great with social activities where the can use their people-loving skills to recruit or plan church gatherings. They are full of creative ideas and are a real asset to brain-storming sessions when it comes to activities, church pageants, and fund raising. Put them in areas where you need "people" people like on greeting committees.

Sanguine people are often distracted and love to have fun, so don't be surprised if they have a difficult time staying on task or getting things done in a timely manner. They tend to be talkers and often choose conversation over work that needs to be done. God knew what He was doing when He created the fun-loving sanguine. Sure, they may get off track, but they certainly add an element of fun and creativity to any task.

Family Rescue and Restoration

 

When my husband, Eldon and I married over twenty years ago, we promised each other that the honeymoon would never end. We wanted to always be googly-eyed and kooky with each other. However, real life happened and we went to work to support our household. Then our first child was born, and that changed everything.

What used to be a fun and exciting life, turned into work (for me anyhow). Then later baby number two came along. More work. My husband and I did not see eye to eye on how things in our home should be handled.

Off and on for twenty years, we had our highs and lows. We sought out counseling from pastors (and we so exhausted a few of them that they finally retired). Then we tried licensed professional counselors. We applied the techniques we learned from these experiences, but none of the advice ever really stuck.

But, then I was introduced to The Personalities before a CLASS (Christian Leaders and Speakers Services) speaking seminar. When I heard the CD's and took the personality profile, I wanted my family to take it also. When we learned about each others personalities, we were all amazed at how accurate the profile assessments were and how much better we started to understand each other.

My husband realized that my desire to talk about a project more than actually doing it was part of my sanguine personality (because sanguine people would rather talk than work). Actually, Eldon and my oldest son, Stephen devised a plan to get rich off a "Shonda talks a lot doll." (I'm still waiting to collect my royalties!) Sanguines are about finding the fun way to do things.

Moving Day and The Personalities

 

A few weeks ago I helped a dear older friend of mine move into an assisted living facility. As a recent widow she was hesitant to leave her home of so many years, but under the circumstances she was happy knowing that it was only temporary until a couple of health issues could be resolved. It ended up being a very good day as there were three of us who helped this wonderful lady transition to her new accommodations and this is where I saw The Personalities working together in all their glory.

Each of the three of us assisting our friend had three different personalities. My friend Joyce was a wonderful example of a melancholy, Rebecca represented the choleric personality quite nicely, and I had the phlegmatic category covered. However, there were no sanguine movers to be found that day; probably because most moving days aren't considered festive occasions. Moving is a lot of work and sanguines are all about fun! So, of all The Personalities, I wasn't too surprised that a sanguine was not there. . .she was probably out shopping or planning a social regale for the community at her house.

The Choleric Mover

Rebecca was a wonderfully helpful mover. She met with our friend two days before the actual move because there were things that needed to be done. Since the choleric personality is such a doer, it made sense that she was the one who made sure things were done in advance. Checklists were double checked and logistics were thoughtfully planned out. Rebecca had our friend's new address, made sure that the right paperwork for changing addresses was obtained, and she coordinated the arrival of everyone for the morning of moving day. She did a great job and I'm absolutely positive that things went smoothly because of all of Rebecca's efforts and her "get 'er done" attitude.

Personalities and the NJROTC

My youngest son is in the Naval Junior Reserve Officer Training Corp (NJROTC) at Los Alamos (NM) High School. It is a wonderful program and you cannot believe how it helps the young men and women blossom. I must brag a little because it seems there is always a graduating senior from the program accepted into the Naval Academy at Annapolis, Maryland, while a plethora of other NJROTC students receive great scholarships, join our armed services, or set out on other fine adventures because of their experiences in this program.

A few weeks ago my husband and I attended the last awards ceremony for the 2008-2009 school year. We were impressed by the number of awards the cadets won over the past year. There were so many trophies that they covered two cafeteria tables. However, because I am fascinated by personalities, it was a real treat for me to observe the many personalities that make up this wonderful group.

SANGUINE

The best example of a sanguine personality that evening was one of the adult leaders. This Marine, Gunnery Sergeant Bret Painter USMC (Ret), is full of energy which is helpful when trying to keep up with and herd over seventy teenagers. Because of the demonstrative nature of sanguine people, it is easy to tell he loves his job. Out of the two adult leaders in the unit, he is more talkative and animated; it's not surprising that the cadets adore this man. Despite the fact that this leader is fun loving, he does have high expectations and the cadets don't ever want to disappoint him (or do push-ups when they don't meet the standard).

On awards night, Gy Sgt Painter was the one who addressed all the proud parents in the audience. He also handed out many of the awards and, where appropriate, he even called a few of the cadets by the nicknames they had earned during the school year. He even playfully "punched" one of the more "tough" cadets in the arm when she walked up to receive her award. Sanguine personalities enjoy good, wholesome fun with those around them.

Personalities and Reality TV

I enjoy watching several reality television shows. It must be my love of The Personalities that makes the unscripted situations and people interactions irresistible to me. I realize that editing sometimes alters the appearance of any given encounter, but The Personalities always shine through. I'd like to share some of my observations.

Survivor - CBS

Throwing a bunch of people together in an uncivilized setting with no modern conveniences seems cruel, but they actually sign up to travel to exotic destinations such a Africa, the Australian outback, and the wilds of Central and South America.

It's not unusual for the sanguine personalities to either last for a long time or be voted off early in the game; it depends on whether they operate more from their strengths or weaknesses. When operating from their weaknesses, they tend to get on people's nerves if they talk incessantly or are too loud and obnoxious. If they approach the game with their strengths they can be very popular, fun, and charming. Sanguine participants often provide comedic relief when life around camp get tough.

The choleric contestants, usually known as the work horses, see that the camp is built and put food on the table. . . when it's available. Because they are such formidable opponents, they usually wear a giant target on their backs from the very beginning. So, whether a choleric operates from their strengths or weaknesses, I'm never surprised to see them get voted out of the tribe. Sometimes, due to their bossiness and blunt communication style, they deserve to go, but other times it seems unfair to be voted off because they play the game so well.

Vacation Personalities

My apologies for not posting "Purely Personalities" last week. My husband, Warren, invited me to accompany him on a business trip to Las Vegas. It wasn't until we settled into our hotel that we discovered how expensive daily internet service was, so I enjoyed a computer free vacation. However, I came up with the idea to share about vacation personalities; our own traveling companions as well as the different personalities we see and encounter when we hit the road. So, sit back and see if you have traveled with or encountered any of the examples I share.

Vacation Sanguine

Sanguine personalities love to spend money and have never met a souvenir they did not like. My youngest son, Eric, is a typical vacation sanguine. Two years ago when we traveled to Florida, Eric spent all of this money and traipsed back to New Mexico with some pretty unique treasures; ever heard of a "turgator"? It is an authentic turtle shell with the real head and feet of an alligator glued to it. Eric bought it from an equally sanguine person who made the freaky little guys. This shopkeeper was Eric's favorite person from our trip. They got along famously because they both shared a creative streak and a love for the unusual.

I love watching people in airports and sanguine travelers are hard to miss. On our flight home last week, a sanguine lady sat next to my husband. She was wearing a bright, high-heeled pair of sandals, black leggings, a fur accented jacket, and huge sunglasses that rested on her blond, lion-maned hair. On one of the buses that took us to the rental car center we encountered a boisterous group of people from the Bronx. They laughed and talked enthusiastically during our ride. They were clearly sanguine and were having a raucous good time!

Personalities and Your Prince Charming

Valentine's Day has come and gone, but love endures forever. Sometimes that is easier to say than to believe, especially if your personality is completely different from that of your Prince Charming husband. Believe it or not, most people do marry their direct opposite because, like the premise made famous by Tom Cruise in the movie Jerry McGuire, our opposites do complete us.

So, in honor of the February, the love month, let's explore the different characteristics of each of the Personality Princes.

Prince Sanguine

If we can remember that a sanguine person's basic desire is to have fun and their emotional needs include attention, approval, affection, and acceptance we can better understand the sanguine husband...especially if you do not share the same personality.

The sanguine hubby tends to be spontaneous, creative, and fun. This is evident in everyday life and life in the bedroom (or possibly other fun and funky locations.) They love whimsical activities and games and often have as many words as women that they need to speak in a given day. That's why the sanguine personality is known as the talker.

Although the sanguine prince in your life is full of fun he will probably have some traits that will drive you crazy. They do not like to read instructions and will jump from project to project or task to task until they completely forget what they are suppose to be doing. Most sanguine personalities (male and female, alike) are not cleaning machines when it comes to household chores; they are easily distracted by activities that show more promise in the "fun" department. But, if you can get your prince charming to actually help and accomplish something on your "honey-do" list, give him lots of praise for a job well done and take him bungee jumping or out to get ice cream.

My youngest son, Eric, is a typical sanguine. He is going to be a fun-loving husband, but will need a wife who understands how easily distracted he is when it comes to household responsibilities.  However, on the upside, his wife is going to be blessed with a husband who wants to talk and giggle as much as she does. And, all indications are that Eric is going to be the funnest daddy in the neighborhood. He is a kid magnet. The boys he babysits absolutely love his goofy side and Eric loves to get his hands dirty with kid's activities. Prince Sanguine will be full of fun and forever young at heart.

Prince Choleric

Prince Choleric is a wonderful guy, but he does not always come across as the famous Prince Charming. The choleric personality has a basic desire to be in control. Their emotional needs include loyalty, a sense of control, appreciation, and credit for work.

Your choleric prince can sometimes be a little bossy because he tends to be so mission minded. He always sees projects that need to be done and they must be done his way. Choleric hubbies tend to be high energy and will do everything on your "to-do" list even before you make the "to-do" list.

My husband, Warren, is a classic choleric. As is typical with most choleric personalities, I never have to give him a "honey-do" list. Choleric men aren't known for their romantic or soft-and-tender sides, but they demonstrate their love and affection by doing. If I casually mention something I want, the next thing I know Warren brings it to me or gets it done. One time I happened to mention it had been a while since I'd had a peanut butter cup and the next day, my choleric prince brought me one.

Choleric husbands are not ones to stop and smell the roses. When we take to the road for the weekend or for vacation, Warren is a very efficient traveler and plans any stops strategically...to avoid "accidents" in the car and to ward of starvation. Recently we were traveling home from visiting our son who is in college and Eric and I almost had to declare mutiny to get lunch. However, in true choleric form, Warren provided for us and, once we stopped, we had a feast. You've just gotta love the "git-er-done" guy. I know I love mine.

Prince Melancholy

If you want romance, Prince Melancholy is your guy. If there was a prize for Mr. Valentine, the melancholy would, more than likely, walk away with the trophy. This personality's basic desire it to achieve perfection and order. Their emotional needs include support from loved ones and friends, their own space, silence, and stability. If the melancholy prince plans something for Valentine's Day or any other romantic occasion, he will probably do it up right. Candles and soft music anyone?

Prince Melancholy usually dresses neatly and often very stylish so don't be surprised if he looks like he just stepped off a magazine cover. If you feel like running your fingers through his hair, beware: they may get stuck in his helmet of hairspray. Your melancholy hubby will actually help keep the house clean and tidy. However, if you are a sanguine wife you may not feel adequate up against his meticulous house cleaning abilities.

For as much as our melancholy prince seeks to achieve perfection, he is far from perfect. His quest for perfection and order may cause him to be overly critical of his wife who will often fall short of his expectations. Because of his sensitive nature, it's not unusual for Prince Melancholy to experience the blues and to brood when his emotional needs are not being met. Additionally, their high expectations often place an unnecessary burden on the husband/wife relationship.

However, it is the melancholy hubby who will remember important dates like anniversaries and birthdays. They are totally committed to their loved ones and tend to be loving and protective of any children in the family. And, remember the Valentine prize they would win? They are very romantic when it comes to spending special time with their wife. Prince Melancholy will sweep you off your feet!

Prince Phlegmatic

If you want the king of relaxation, marry a phlegmatic. This Personality Prince is laid back, patient, and agreeable. His basic desire it to have peace and his emotional needs include quiet, feelings of worth, lack of stress, and respect. He may let Prince Choleric slay all the dragons and Prince Melancholy sweat all the details, but Prince Phlegmatic will wrap you in a cloak of stability, show you patience, and is not demanding.

This hubby is easy going and will roll with any punches people or life throws at your marriage. He tends to seek special event "intimacy" (anniversaries and birthdays) and will rarely wake you in the middle of the night because he is feeling amorous...he's too busy sleeping. Prince Phlegmatic's interest include vegging (preferably in front of the television) and avoiding a long or complex "honey-do" list. Like I said, they are the kings of relaxation.

I have a friend who is married to a wonderful phlegmatic man. She marvels at all the household activities my Prince Choleric accomplishes and wishes her prince was as driven as Warren. I look at her husband and wish that mine could relax a little more. We are both blessed with our own princes, but it isn't unusual for women to admire traits in their friend's husbands. But if we understand The Personalities, we will also appreciate the wonderful things that made us fall in love with our own princes.

The phlegmatic prince in your life does not like conflict. It can be difficult to engage him in conversation if you need to discuss a difficult issue. Sometimes, because they are too accommodating, they can lose their own identity or let the kids in the family run over them. However, if Prince Phlegmatic marries his opposite personality (choleric) she will take care of insubordinate kids.

This article just touches the tip of the iceberg when it comes to The Personalities and marriages. If you are interested in learning more on this excellent and important subject Personality Plus for Couples by Florence Littauer is a must read. It includes what I have shared here and goes much deeper. If you are interested in discussing marriage and how personalities affect them, visit the Purely Personalities group over at Christian Women Take Root. Marriage isn't easy, but understanding your spouses personality can make it less difficult.

 

(c)2009 Shona Neff

Jesus...the Complete Package?

Have you ever wondered what personality type best reflects Jesus? Each personality carries with it wonderful attributes, weaknesses, and specific emotional needs. But, which one best describes our Lord and Savior?

Does it surprise you to learn that Jesus embodies all the personalities? But, the truly great thing about Jesus is that, not only does He exhibit the strengths of the sanguine, choleric, melancholy, and phlegmatic, He does it without being hindered by their weaknesses! If only we could be so lucky.

Jesus the Sanguine

Sanguine people have many fabulous traits. One of the most obvious sanguine traits that Jesus exhibited during His earthly ministry was His love towards people. This personality loves people and the Bible records many instances of Jesus showering the masses with love and compassion. He healed blind and lame men, he stopped a woman from long-time bleeding, and he raised people from the dead. And on two separate occasions, He fed thousands of people because they were hungry. Jesus loved children and people from all walks of life and they loved Him back.

Jesus embraced others as no world leader has before or after He walked the dusty roads of Israel. Although He welcomes the world with open arms, the world doesn't always welcome Him. That rejection is not a reflection of Jesus' lack of ability to draw people in, as is characteristic of the sanguine personality; it's more of a reflection on those who fail to get to know Jesus and choose to reject the truth of what He is all about...saving the world from sin.

Jesus is a wonderful example of a sanguine personality.

Personality Announcement

I'd like to take this week to announce that "Purely Personalities" will go from posting twice monthly to posting once a month.

With my new duties as Co-Editor of Take Root and Write, my life as a wife and mother, my part time job, and a new weekly radio gig...I'm pretty busy for a slow moving phlegmatic.

Although my personality blend includes sanguine, the phlegmatic in me rules the day. If I were primarily a sanguine personality I would say "yes" to it all and in a few weeks or months, I'd be completely burned out.

If I were choleric, I would have enough energy and drive to do it all and then come over and clean your house, But, alas, I am who I am...phlegmatic.

If I was a melancholy personality, I would gladly quit my job at the dry cleaner and enjoy the solitude of my desk. But, the sanguine part of me would miss interacting with my customers and, as a phlegmatic, I know I need to push myself out into the world so I don't waste away at home.

But because the phlegmatic in me thrives on peaceful surroundings and as little stress as possible, I am rearranging things so my emotional tank doesn't have to run on empty.

I am confident that I am going to have to rearrange my schedule even more to accommodate all the opportunities the Lord is providing, but for now, one less post per month seems like a good place to start. I thank all of you who faithfully read "Purely Personalities" and encourage you to watch for it on the third Wednesday of the month.

 

(c)2009 Shona Neff

The Gifts of the Personalities

One of the most anticipated things about Christmas is receiving gifts, but sometimes the best gifts of all are the wonderful attributes people offer of themselves. Christmas exists to honor the birthday of Jesus who gave the ultimate of Himself...His life. Today I'd like to share with you the wonderful gifts people give of themselves during the Christmas season. Actually, these gifts keep giving all year long but are especially endearing at this time of year. Learn how to unwrap the gifts of the seasons from the personalities of your loved ones.

The Joy of the Season - The Sanguine

Sanguine people decorate the Christmas season with their gift of joy and enthusiasm. My niece, Kendall, exudes the holiday sanguine. She gets giddy with anticipation at the prospect of opening presents. This past weekend, due to travel logistics, Kendall's family opened their gifts from my family early. Although Kendall's sister and brother, Coley and Lane, were equally excited but Kendall was the one bouncing around the room with excitement. According to her parents, she is the one with the exuberant and least patient reputation when it comes to anticipating special events and Christmas is no exception. I'm not sure if my niece is tempted to sneak peeks at presents under the tree, but if anyone is going to prematurely peek at presents, it's usually the sanguine...young or old. Their natural curiosity often gets the better of them.

My sanguine sister, Gail, is hosting Kendall's family for Christmas and, in true sanguine fashion, she is excitedly anticipating their arrival. Between a plethora of festive and gala events to attend and house decorating, my sister is preparing a tea party for entertainment complete with vintage hats. Sanguine personalities definitely get into the season and make it festive; "the more the merrier" is their mantra. So don't forget to enjoy the gift of joy that sanguine personalities bring to Christmas.

Spiritual Personalities

Knowledge of The Personalities comes in handy in our everyday lives, but did you know they can help us understand our spiritual side? Where are we weak? What spiritual strengths do we naturally exhibit? Today we are going to explore the different aspects of our spiritual personalities.

Popular/Playful Sanguine: Sanguine people are drawn to the happy parts of Christianity because their basic desire is to have fun. They approach their belief asking, "Are we having fun yet?" It's not unusual to see a sanguine doing the fun things around the church like planning celebrations for the entire congregation or their Sunday school class and organizing vacation Bible school. They see God as an affectionate Father and their Best Friend; that's because sanguine personalities are, themselves, affectionate and love everyone.

Their spiritual strength is grace: "God is faithful; by him you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord" (1 Corinthians 1:9, NRSV).

A sanguine desiring a close relationship with God benefits by:

• not giving up when things get difficult.
• getting involved in a small group study for accountability.
• organizing or teaching a study.
• participating in enjoyable activities around the church.
• reading Christian fiction.

Powerful Choleric: Since the choleric personality thrives when they have control, they tend to be the workers around church. They want to get things done and aren't afraid to get their hands dirty if required by their mission. They tend to be big participants in church work days and are the busy bees who keep the church functioning. It's not unusual to find church boards filled with choleric people. They tend to see God as someone they have to fight for control; it isn't as easy for a choleric to "let go and let God" as it is for the other personalities.

Personalities and Happy Holidays

Thanksgiving is almost here and Christmas is just around the corner. Most of us greet the holidays with tingly anticipation...sometimes mixed with a little dread. Festive gatherings often stir together a variety of personalities and sometimes the results can be explosive.

Today, Purely Personalities is going to take the dread and the edge out of your plans by exploring holiday personalities. So make yourself comfortable and get ready to understand The Personalities lurking around the Thanksgiving turkey and dancing around the Christmas tree.

The Holiday Sanguine: Sanguine personalities are a time keepers worst nightmare. They tend to be late for everything and it's difficult for them to follow a schedule. Holiday Sanguine wants to do it all...bake cookies for every Tom, Dick and Harry in town, run the church Christmas pageant, and whatever else they can't say "no" to. And because sanguines love to shop no matter the time of year and especially in December, they will buy Christmas gifts for immediate family, first and second cousins, third cousins twice removed, and the lonely widow down the street. They often spend more than they should but, bless their hearts, they are generous people that would benefit from a financial manager.

Keys to surviving the Holiday Sanguine:

• Don't be offended if they show up late to your party or dinner

• If holiday budgets are tight, don't let them shop alone

• Recognize their emotional need for fun like attending holiday functions and being the life of the party

• Encourage them to prioritize holiday activities so they don't get over scheduled

The Holiday Choleric: Choleric personalities are the movers and shakers. Holiday parades, lawn decorations, and pre-lit Christmas trees all exist because Holiday Cholerics are like Santa's elves on a mission. Holiday Cholerics like to be in charge and accomplish things. My husband has our Christmas lights up the weekend after Thanksgiving and down the day after Christmas. A holiday choleric preparing food flexes her mission-minded muscle in the kitchen and is quite capable of whipping up a meal for a thousand guests without breaking a sweat. She likes things done efficiently and will get a little prickly if someone gets in her way. Holiday Choleric isn't usually as outwardly festive and social as Holiday Sanguine, but they enjoy the season in their own "scowly" way. God bless the cholerics with hidden hearts of gold.

Preschool Personalities

Since gaining an understanding of The Personalities I am better able to understand my husband, my friends, sales clerks, and people in general. However, understanding my children has been one of the most beneficial aspects of knowing The Personalities. My children were older when I became aquainted with personalities, but better late than never. But, today is your lucky day if you have younger children because we are going to unravel the mysteries of preschool personalities.

Although each person's personality develops more as they grow, it isn't unusual to see a child's personality creep out as early as infancy. I've had a sanguine baby bat her eyelashes at me from an infant seat perched on top of a table at a restaurant. As I've watched that little girl grow up her sanguine side is increasingly evident. Although it's not always easy to identify personalities at such a young age, I've seen children display distinct personality traits as early as 18 months to two years. The sooner we can understand our little ones, the sooner we can begin to nurture the person God created your child to be later in life.

The Sanguine Preschooler: this child is bright, lively, and loves to perform. They will dance jigs, tell jokes, or do whatever it takes to get noticed. Although it is important to feed the need these children have for attention, it isn't necessary to overindulge the sanguine child's quest for attention. When it's appropriate, give them your undivided attention and notice their accomplishments no matter how small.

Sanguine children tend to be into everything and many have the reputation of breaking things. My youngest son broke many of his big brother's toys and when things got quiet, Eric was usually into something "fun" like cutting his hair or playing with fire. A sanguine child will charm your socks off in order to avoid getting in trouble. One time when I was scolding a young Eric, he started crossing his eyes and moving his head in circles. Getting in trouble wasn't fun, but making mom laugh in the midst of it was a blast (and a nice diversion.)

The Choleric Preschooler: if you have a bossy little one trying to run your household, you're probably looking at a  choleric. Moreso than other children, a choleric will exhibit confidence and leadership abilities. When I taught preschool I had the cutest little choleric in my class. Although I never had the opportunity to put Caroline to the test, I'm confident that she couldn've run the class in my absence. If a classmate tried to run away during an excursion from the classroom, Caroline would run the tiny perpetrator down, catch 'em, and physically put him or her back in line.

Even with their limited abilities a choleric child needs to be the boss of something. Find something age appropriate your child can be put in charge of such as monitoring family seat belt use in the car or making sure the pets always have water. This will give your mission-minded little cherub something to accomplish and a healthy outlet for their natural leadership abilities.

Personality Blends

I'm sure most, if not all, of us have mixed ingredients in a blender. I like to make salsa and by the time the blender has worked its magic, there's no way to distinguish the original ingredients such as tomatoes, onions, and jalapenos; they are completely mixed together. Although there are personality blends, the original ingredients (traits) don't get mixed to the same extent as those put into an appliance made for mixing. The Personalities tend to stay more distinct.

I've never met anyone who exhibits every single trait of one personality type; most people have a primary/dominant personality along with a secondary personality. It is possible for someone to have 50/50 blend of two personalities which allows them to move naturally from one to the other, depending on their circumstances.

When considering the blends it's important to note that there are "natural" and "unnatural" combinations. In order to illustrate these blends, picture The Personalities in this format:

                                                      Sanguine                                      Choleric

                                                      Phlegmatic                                   Melancholy

Using the above arrangement of the four personality types, the natural blends move across/horizontally or up and down/vertically. For example, sanguine/choleric or sanguine/phlegmatic and melancholy/phlegmatic or melancholy/choleric are natural blends. However, any combination made from matching The Personalities diagonally (sanguine/melancholy or phlegmatic/choleric) are considered unnatural blends because they are total opposites. (See the Purely Personalities archives for the individual traits of each personality type.) Today we are going to explore the different blends.

Sanguine/Choleric Blend: Both sanguine and choleric personalities are outgoing, optimistic, and energized by  people. This combination is a born leader - they mix the natural leadership skills of the choleric and the people-loving aspect and charm of the sanguine to create a modern-day Pied Piper. They can lead and motivate people. The sanguine side of this blend helps tone down the intensity of the choleric and the choleric side reigns in the lack of focus that often plagues sanguines.

I know a lady who is a 50/50 blend of this mix. Because she can easily move between the two personalities, her surroundings tend to dictate which personality rises to the top. If she is "in charge", the choleric quickly emerges so that she can accomplish the task at hand. If she doesn't have to be the leader, she happily assumes the role of the fun-loving sanguine.

Fill 'er Up - Emotional Needs, Part 2

Last time we met we learned the emotional needs of the sanguine and choleric personalities. Today we are going to focus on the needs of melancholy and phlegmatic people.

In Part one we likened our emotional needs to a vehicles gas tank; cars and people tend to perform best when they aren't running on empty. It could be said that being full makes us fabulous, so sit back as we learn how to fill up the emotional tanks of the melancholy and phlegmatic people in your life.

Proper/Perfect Melancholy: The melancholy personality has the following emotional needs:

• Sensitivity to feelings
• Support when down
• Space to be alone
• Silence

Sensitivity to feelings: Melancholy people are the most sensitive of all The Personalities. The emotional ups and downs in their lives often reflect extreme peaks and valleys unlike the other personalities whose emotional stages aren't as dramatic. Melancholies respond best when people are sensitive to their moods. Romans 12:15 is particularly applicable to this personality: "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep." In most cases, when a melancholy is feeling blue they don't appreciate a bright-eyed, cheer leading sanguine's attempts to cheer them up; they'd rather have someone sit next to them and offer comfort.

Support when down: A melancholy going through a gloomy season generally needs more support than the other three personalities. Sanguine personalities tend to be so positive that they don't stay blue for long. Choleric people are so goal oriented they will snap themselves out of the doldrums because they have things to do and places to go. A phlegmatic person doesn't really like to deal with emotional issues, so when feelings start getting complicated they just tune them out. However, none of these strategies work for a melancholy; they are like bridge that needs pillars of support when spanning troubled waters. Let the melancholy in your life know that you care and are there for them when they need you.

Fill 'er Up - Emotional Needs, Part 1

Now that we have learned how to  identify The Personalities, it's time to learn what to do with our knowledge. In Part  One we are going to look the emotional needs of the sanguine and choleric personalities.

The emotional needs of each personality are a lot like the gas tank in a car. When a vehicle has a full tank it tends to perform better than when it is running on fumes. The same premise holds true for most people. When our emotional tanks are full we tend to be more pleasant, happier, and more productive when it comes to life in general. However, if we are running on empty...watch out! Depending on our personality we can get get loud and obnoxious, bossy, depressed, or withdrawn. So sit back as we investigate this important aspect of The Personalities.

Popular/Playful Sanguine. The sanguine personality has the following emotional needs:

• Attention
• Affection/Touching
• Approval of every deed
• Acceptance

Attention: Sanguines love to be the center of attention. Put a sanguine in a dark corner, away from the spotlight, and their tank will quickly move from full to empty. They thrive on attention. If you have a sanguine in your life make an effort to give them plenty of attention. It isn't necessary that the world revolve around them (although they'd love that), but if they have a new dress, a new haircut, or tell a particularly funny story, pay them a simple compliment. Also, if they are talking to you, give them your undivided attention. Let them know you are interested in what they have to say by not letting your thoughts (or your body) wander off. You'll make their day by giving them your attention.

Affection/Touching: Sanguine people are touchy, feely people. They love hugs and tend to be very physical; they often invade others personal space because of their affectionate nature. Eric, my youngest, is almost sixteen years old and still loves to sit right next to me on the couch. It's not unusual for him to snuggle close and lay his head on my shoulder. The other day he took our snuggles one step further...he threw his legs across my lap. Even thought I'm not as touchy and feely as Eric, I make sure to give him lots of love pats and return his affection when he offers it. What a blessing it is to have a sanguine son who still wants to be close to his 'ol ma.

Approval of every deed: Have you been around a child (or an adult for that matter) who is constantly looking for   affirmation? Chances are you are dealing with a sanguine. "Isn't my dress pretty. Do you like my new haircut? Do you think I made the right decision?" Compliments and approval really fill a sanguine person's emotional tank. If they aren't hearing the words they desire, a sanguine has no reservations soliciting your words of affirmation. Again, it isn't necessary to overdo the compliments, but a few properly placed words of approval will put a big smile on their face.

Beneath the Surface

Last time we met we learned how to determine an individual's personality by looking at their appearance. Although  this method has proven very accurate, sometimes it's necessary to explore beneath the surface in order to truly understand who someone is.

I have three small dogs of which two are Welsh Terriers and the other, a highway find of unknown origins. When it comes to appearances, Watson is easy to distinguish from the other two because he looks so different. Cooper and Newman, on the other hand, are almost identical making it difficult for people outside our family to tell them apart. However, when people look beneath the surface, Cooper and Newman's distinct personalities are unmistakable.

Newman, pictured on the right, is undeniably sanguine; full of energy and extremely playful. Cooper, on the left, is calm and laid back. A couple of weeks ago Cooper unexpectedly stepped on one of our backyard snakes. He calmly lifted his paw and watched as Eve quietly slithered away; a typical reaction of the peaceful phlegmatic. However, when playful sanguine Newman encountered our other backyard snake, he promptly pounced on what he perceived as his newest play toy. Newman sent the poor reptile spinning, hurly burly, through the air. I quickly intervened and Adam lived to see another day.

When appearances don't tell the whole story behind a person's personality, it's time to dive beneath the surface. Cooper and Newman, although they are dogs, are classic examples of how important it is to recognize the behavior that characterizes each personality. So, let's dive right in!

Playful/Popular Sanguine - the sanguine personality is affectionately known as "THE TALKER" because they are the most loquacious of all the personality types. This trait explains why they are such colorful story tellers and masters at telling jokes. These natural strengths make them the life of any party. Sanguine people usually have magnetic personalities and, in many cases, can charm the spots off of a leopard.

Despite their fun-loving nature, sanguines do have weaknesses. They tend to interrupt others, add to others stories, and embellish their own adventures. Sanguines can tell some of the best "fish" stories you have ever heard. Because of their playfulness, they have a tendency to laugh everything off and have a hard time listening to others. They aren't very good time managers and often find themselves over committed.

Powerful Cholerics - a choleric person is unmistakably "THE DOER." People born with this personality are natural leaders. They love to be in charge of anything and will rise to the occasion. They are decisive and will take control when given the opportunity. They love to work and are goal oriented. My husband is choleric and my friends marvel that I never have to make him a "honey-do" list in order to get things done around the house. Just the other night I was battling a hard water stain that had built up in our master bath toilet bowl. The next thing I knew it was gone! Warren had gotten some kind of razor and quickly eradicated the offending substance. Go Warren!

However, like the sanguine, choleric individuals have their own weaknesses to overcome. They can be very bossy and it isn't unusual for them to come across as "know-it-alls." These traits make it difficult for the choleric to utter words of apology. Although, when they do, you can bet they are sincere. It is easy for the choleric to unintentionally intimidate those around them and they have little patience for those who don't share their propensity to work hard and do things right the first time.

Can You Judge a Book By Its Cover?

Can you judge a book by its cover? This question has been around as long as books. Sometimes you can and sometimes you can't. It's the same with The Personalities. Although determining an individuals personality by the visual clues they display are fairly accurate, they aren't 100 percent fool proof. However, for as long as I've been using The Personalities to gain insights into people, they have proven very helpful.

In the last post I introduced you to the bright and lively sanguine, the powerful and goal-oriented choleric, the quiet and beauty-loving melancholy, and the laid back phlegmatic. Today we are going to learn how to identify a person by looking at their "cover." It's not only interesting, but it's a lot of fun.

Playful/Popular Sanguine - being bright and lively, sanguine personalities are usually drawn to colorful clothing.  They love to shop and tend fill their shopping bags with flamboyant and eye-catching styles. They often adorn themselves with accessories such as bulky and dangly jewelry, unique shoes, and large handbags that carry everything but the kitchen sink (and they'd probably carry that too if there was enough room.) If you need an aspirin, a paper clip, or a wrench, find a sanguine.

I have an adorable  college-aged niece who exudes the sanguine personality. We recently attended a funeral and she wore a black, spaghetti strap dress with a tight bodice and a puffy knee-length skirt. She accessorized with a black head piece and gold high heels. (She uses a variation of the same outfit for evening weddings.) She did, however, leave her three-foot, backpack purse at home.

Sanguine males aren't always as easy to identify as their female counterparts. If you see a man or boy with rainbow suspenders, a bright tie funky socks or unique designs on their clothes, you may be looking at a sanguine.

Meet the Personalities

Have you ever had a rattle in your car that you couldn't identify? An unidentified rattle drives me crazy. But, if I can figure out what is causing it, the mystery disappears as does my insanity.

People and personalities are a lot like rattles; people tend to annoy us more until we understand why they do the things they do. In other words, they don't drive us as crazy when we hold the key that unlocks the mystery of their "rattles."

The Personalities is that key. They were first observed by several Greek thinkers before Christ was born. These thinkers noticed that people fell into four distinct categories. They attributed the differences between each group to the bodily fluids they thought dominated a person's make up. Although it's since been proven that genetics predetermines an individual's personality and environment shapes it, the Greek names orginally used to identify each group have stood the test of time and are still used today. So without further ado, let's meet The Personalities.

The Popular/Playful SANGUINE - the word sanguine is from the Greek word meaning "blood". Sanguine personalities are so named because the early Greek thinkers thought these people had red-hot blood coursing through their veins. Sanguine people are bright and lively and tend to be fun-loving and outgoing. They are the most playful of the four personalities types.

The Powerful CHOLERIC - choleric personalities are very goal oriented and usually accomplish any goal they set for themselves. The name choleric (pronounced like "collar" on a shirt) comes from the Greek word that referred to the yellow bile that was thought to dominate this group's bodily fluids. Choleric people tend to be intense and sometimes bossy, but if you want a job done and done right, call a choleric.

Welcome to "Purely Personalities"

Have you ever been around someone with an annoying personality trait? It could something as simple as a person who is more loud and boisterous than you like. Perhaps they tend to be a tad more bossy than you're comfortable with or maybe they are just so organized, it drives you crazy.

These scenarios aren't uncommon and don't mean there is something wrong with you, me, or anyone else; we're just different. God knew exactly what He was doing when He made us all unique individuals. Can you imagine how dull the world would be if we were all alike?

UNDERSTANDING OTHERS

Understanding The Personalities helps us understand each other. Ephesians 4:29 says:

"Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers" (NKJV).

When we understand another person's personality it is much easier to encourage them because we know the most effective and gracious way to approach that individual. Since becoming a certified personality trainer I use my knowledge of The Personalities to guide and instruct my two teen-aged sons. I don't try to change them, but I teach them by capitalizing on their strengths and refining the weaknesses inherent to each of their personalities. The best part is, they don't see me as a critical mother since I'm using tried, true, and effective principles. The same method works when dealing with people outside our families. In both cases we can all feel more confident following the instructions of Ephesians 4:29 when we understand The Personalities.

Intro: Purely Personalities

Ever noticed people are different from you? "Purely Personalities" unlocks the mystery behind the variety of traits God has given His children. The "Personalities" is a practical tool to use with family, friends, and anyone else you may encounter.

By, Shona Neff
Column Posted every 1st and 3rd Wednesday of the Month. Also a group in CWTR here.