"To everything there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven: A time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to pluck up what is planted. A time to kill and a time to heal, a time to break down and a time to build up. A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance. A time to cast away stones and a time to gather stones together, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing. A time to get and a time to lose, a time to keep and a time to cast away. A time to rend and a time to sew, a time to keep silence and a time to speak. A time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace" (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 AMP).
When I first heard those words I think it was on a commercial, then I became familiar with the song by Pete Seeger, Turn Turn Turn. I had no idea that he was singing scripture. I think this is one of the most comforting love letters God gives us in the Bible. He is telling us we will feel all these emotions even when we don't want to like hatred. We will mourn, but after a time we will dance. There will be times we will need to hold on to something or someone tight, and there will be times we need to let go even if we do not want to. I am at one of those times in my life. Lately I have suffered from Can't Say No Syndrome and have overloaded my life. It has come to the point where I am spending less time with God and that is just not acceptable.
I have decided I need to wipe the slate clean and re-prioritize even if it means cutting things I love. So, after much prayer I have decided this will be my last article for Single Moms. Writing for Take Root and Write has been one of the most fun and exciting experiences of my life. When I prayed for a way to become useful, God sent me a wonderful visionary Noelle Mena. She gave me this opportunity a little over a year ago, and it has been such a blessing. Lately I just have not had the time to give this column my best, which also is just not acceptable. I still can not wait to meet her in person!
When I prayed for Godly women to come into my life, He sent me the fabulous Shona Neff, who became the editor of this powerhouse magazine you are enjoying today. I have been fortunate to have lunch or dinner with her every now and then when she makes it to town. She truly is a gem and I love keeping in touch with her on Face-book! She always has something nice or funny to say. If you are not her friend yet, I highly recommend it!

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An atheist once said somewhere, that if he can get your kids before they are 5, he will have them forever. What a powerful statement. He knows those early years are so important. The world goes after our kids full force. Does the church? Do we as parents? We need to realize they are learning from the day they are born. They are smart enough to know right from wrong, good from evil even before they can talk. I know when my kids were little I did not hold up pictures of Jesus and tell them Jesus loves you, or say Jesus and then hug them. I am glad their Sunday school did. I on the other hand did not follow thru at home. Did I wait too long? Will he miss out on God's purpose for his life? Will these teenage rebelions doom him forever? I don't think so. God's grace is so amazing! His ability to forgive is beyond compare! His eraser not only erases the mistake but his memory! 

Have you ever heard the term "Friends are the family you choose?" I believe that 100%. I live 2 1/2 hours away from any family so when I need help I have to rely on my friends. Sometimes this is really hard for me because I don't like to feel like I am imposing on anyone. I am learning through the wonderful character makeover that this is a form of pride. I never would have thought of it that way. When I deny help I am also denying someone else the right to show me love and generosity. Mothers with husbands in the military or who travel a lot probably know this feeling just as much as us single moms do. Don't get me wrong, moms with their spouses at home need to escape just as much as anyone but they have a few more opportunities with another adult in the house. There have been a few times when my day has gotten away from me and when I finally sit down to take a breath, the kids are in bed, it's like 10:30 at night, and I remember we ran out of milk!! I hate to leave my kids home alone at that time even if just for a few minutes but if I don't go, as much as God does for me, I really don't expect him to deliver milk to my door for breakfast! Uhhh... yes out of gas! 
Sometimes us single parents don't get the support we're suppose to ... They let me know how much better they think their life would be if I had gone to college and say... become a doctor. Some days those thoughts get to me. I feel like I am not doing enough for them, and I have let them down. 

This can confuse kids and create complicated situations. By nature kids want to please their parents. They love them both. However if the values being taught in each household differ drastically, this can cause guilt and stress for the child (ren). My kids have been placed in the situation many times where they had to choose between pleasing their dad and lying to their mom. 
Women can't conceive children alone. We're not suppose to raise them alone either. Being a single mom is no longer the taboo it once was. However, being a Christian single mom by divorce and not by death can be. (gasp) Those 3 words are not suppose to go together! When they do, a lot of people add the word hypocrite into the mix without even knowing or caring about the circumstances. Have you ever been there? 





