Take Root and Write

Me Almighty?

I am afraid I have no answers for you today.  No words of wisdom; no scientific formulas to make your life better.  I cannot promise you that if you do A, B, and C, then the result will be D.

I wish life were that simple.  I wish there were guarantees that if we just did what was right, followed God's plan and His leading, that everything would always be great.

But that, I have learned over and over again, is not always the case.

We live in a fallen world.  We interact with imperfect people.  And we serve a God who is most definitely NOT a Type A personality.  If I understood completely how God worked, I would be God myself.  And quite frankly, I don't need that kind of pressure.  I would be like Jim Carrey's character in "Bruce Almighty," who, when given the opportunity to be "God," instead of wisely considering the prayer requests and answering each one individually, he clicked the "yes" button and answered all of them at the same time.

Efficient? Yes. But the outcome was not quite what people had in mind.  Everyone won the lottery, resulting in the payout for each person being roughly $2.00.  Another woman joyfully exclaimed, "I lost 50 pounds on the Krispy Kreme diet!"  Although my husband and I, both of us being "less than perfect" Weight Watchers members, love to use this line on each other, I know that truthfully, God is not going to just wave His hand and "POOF!" cause all my excess weight to disappear.  What then?  Do I get to keep eating the Krispy Kremes and let Him bail me out every time I put it back on?  How am I going to learn to fuel my body the way He intended for me to fuel it?

And I know that "Bruce Almighty" is a fictional movie.  A comedy, no less.

But it did make me think about the assumption that a lot of us have that the way to gain God's favor is through "doing the right thing."  That we can manipulate His will by being the perfect model Christian citizen.  This is especially true for those of us living in the fishbowl called ministry.  There is a certain "image" that we feel we must live up to (and I'm not convinced that anyone can truly define what it is, even though we are all trying to live up to it!).

When the word of God tells us that our righteousness is like filthy rags.  That we are saved through grace, and NOT of ourselves.

Please do not misunderstand me - I am not saying that we should not live our lives in a godly manner.  If we are truly followers of Christ, we should be striving to live as He has commanded us to live.

I'm just saying that we are not necessarily going to get Him to do what we want just by living right.  Sometimes He knows best - better than we do.  Sometimes He is trying to teach us something.  Sometimes (and I know we don't like to consider this!), our own foolish choices have natural consequences, and He's not always going to come down and "fix" everything. 

But we can trust that He knows what He is doing - even when we don't have the slightest clue.  And I pray that we can all get to the point where, like the title character in "Bruce Almighty," we can fall to our knees and tell our Creator, "I am TIRED of being God - I surrender my life to your will!"

And really mean it.

Look Beyond the Surface

Since my sophomore year of high school, I have been opposed to labels. Before that, I was your typical Child of the 80's - I was all about Guess jeans, Esprit shirts, and United Colors of Benetton perfume. Unfortunately, my family's income was in the "low income" bracket, so I did not actually own a pair of Guess jeans. I had one Esprit T-shirt that I got as a birthday gift from a family friend. And the perfume? I would wait until I went on a trip to the Twin Cities (about four times a year), go into the Benetton store, and ask for a sample. This would "hold" me until my next trip.

I don't know what happened after that. I am now old enough to be able to say, "Whatever...it was 17 years ago!" I just know that one day, I was into designer jeans and coveting expensive clothes, and then seemingly overnight, I embraced the thrift store grunge look, sporting flannels, baggy T-shirts, and ripped jeans.

At the same time, my brother was fascinated, not by labeling clothing, but by labeling people. As in, "If you wear flannel and jeans, you listen to alternative music, and you are all depressed" or "Wearing baggy pants and bright colors obviously meant you were into the hip-hop scene." I confused him because I didn't dress according to any "label." If I felt like listening to opera, that's what I'd listen to. If I needed some praise & worship music, I'd throw that on. There were days I'd blast my Christian punk (One Bad Pig was one of the coolest bands EVER!), and other days you'd hear "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" coming out of my room.

And I dressed for the occasion. For church or a speech meet, I dressed up. Everywhere else, I dressed down. I have never really had a real personal "style."

So I guess my eclectic nature has translated into every area of my life. I just refuse to be labeled. I am 32 years old. I was born in 1976. I grew up in the 1980's, and came of age in the 90's, but please do not call me a Generation Xer. I am a female pastor, as well as an actor, director, and writer, but do not call me a liberal. On the other hand, just because I am a Pentecostal Christian, do not presume to know how I stand on every single issue. I am me, and I am more complex than that.

The Proverbs 31 Woman

As Christian women, we get beat over the head quite a bit by the epic "Proverbs 31 Woman."  This amazing superwoman who has time for everything and everyone, and who makes her family a #1 priority all the time. 

I've read many analysis and theories on this famed woman.  Some say that this is "proof" from Scripture that the wife belongs in the home, and that any of the buying and selling she does comes from home-based businesses only.  Another theory I read was that the whole chapter does not describe just one woman, but rather many different women, all doing whatever they are called to do - all glorifying God in their individual jobs.

Lately, I've struggled with a dilemma: as my husband and I are trying to start a family, I have wondered if the ministry is really where I need to be.  I have friends and acquaintances who believe that a woman belongs at home with her kids.  Period.  I've wondered if I can possibly be a full-time children's pastor, a full-time wife, and a full-time mom.  And whether or not I drop down to part time pay, I would still be a full time children's pastor.  I believe very strongly that, if you're a pastor, you either are one or you aren't one! 

I have received advice from many wonderful female friends who have raised or are in the process of raising kids in the ministry, and have begun to more closely observe other families and how they operate.

Still, that nagging voice in the back of my mind kept talking: What about the Proverbs 31 woman?

So I decided to take a look and read about her.  If I'm going to be comparing myself to her, and making major life decisions based upon this Biblical model of womanhood, I should really refresh myself as to what the Bible actually says.  Not what someone else says the Bible says.  Not what someone read on the Internet that someone else said about it (and this goes for you, too, readers!  Pick up your Bible and read about her yourself.  Don't just take my word for it, because God has something that he wants to say to each one of you through this passage, just as he had something for me!).