Take Root and Write

Whatever Is!

Beautiful One, many of us have heard the words made famous by Doris Day, "Whatever will be, will be." Maybe you've spoken them yourself as if to tell yourself to accept things that are out of our control. However, may I suggest that we don't settle in life for such a fate and, instead, focus on what truly determines our outcome? . .  that whatever God says IS, will be.

How many times have we encountered hardship and, because we did not deal with it effectively, found ourselves silently succumbing to the lie that we have not control and things won't change? That is very easy to do and, when the battle is long and hard, it takes a toll. One day we find that our faith has been seared, our trust is gone, and we cannot imagine things being any different then our circumstances dictate.

Beautiful One, may I encourage you with this: Hard times, long battles and, yes, even doubt and fear have a purpose. When we are spiritually and emotionally empty and have nothing left inside, that is when God does some of his best work. Sometimes in order for us to truly live, we have to die to everything we have known or experienced up to that point.

Sowing in Tears

I've always loved getting my hands dirty. I mean literally getting them dirty with garden dirt. Apparently its hereditary because my mom, my sister and my brother have the same love. Every year I anxiously await the time when my Ohio garden thaws out from the winter freeze so that I can begin to till the soil and prepare it for the seeds that I will plant. I know I should wear gloves to protect my hands, but that takes some of the fun out of it for me. I just like the feel of the dirt between my fingers. If you're in my neighborhood in the springtime, you'll very likely see me on my hands and knees planting sunflower seeds, zinnia seeds, and marigold seeds. I love covering them up and watering them. Then I wait for the blooms. What a reward!

The Israelites used to sing a song about sowing a different kind of seed as they journeyed to the temple to celebrate various festivals in remembrance of grace of God. Psalm 126 was one such song.

The Lord has done great things for us and we are filled with joy,
Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.
He who goes out weeping carrying seed to sow,
will return with songs of joy,
carrying sheaves with him. (Psalm 126:3,5-6 NIV)

Disappearing Days

My therapist tells me that 'disappearing days' can occur when part of my soul is shutting me down. An alternative part, an alter within my soul, is afraid of being hurt, doesn't want to feel, is frightened of being forced to remember or experiences situations too horrible for words to describe takes over, and therefore, it shuts me down. So, a person can experience times of appearing to go away.

She wants to check out of life, since she is unable to handle the strong feeling. Amazingly, an alter, a part of one's soul that evolved through trauma, is able to take over the adult self, dragging her awareness to a lower level of consciousness. It is when this happens that a person can no longer will herself to do as she chooses. She is no longer the one willing. She is experiencing a disappearing day.

If you have ever suffered from depression, even mild postpartum depression, you know what it is like to not feel yourself. You know your emotionally unstable, but you can't seem to will yourself to do anything about it. Our free will is not as powerful as we imagine.While we use our free will daily, often many of our actions are habit. 

In Case You Didnt Know

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8 NIV)

Beautiful One, how many times have you heard that God loves you?  And, out of all those times, have you thought, Really? Then, why am I going through this?  When that question arises it is often because we are experiencing a difficult season. Troubling times can make us question God, Do you really love me? 

But, did you know you can love God and still question His love for you? You can have an innate desire to follow him, yet struggle in your efforts to follow Him. This can cause ripples in your spiritual life that, in your mind, create conflict in your relationship with God.

For most of us, it's part of the process: Trouble, doubt, and shortcomings all play a part in the production of us!  And, if we can be real and not put on a facade to impress others, God will use all of us no matter who we are. He will turn what we've been through around and use it for something good. In fact, the bigger the mess He has to work with, the greater the message of how awesome He is will be!

Going On or Going Under

She was at a crossroads of her life. It would be so easy to just give up. After all, this was not the dream she had for herself as a small girl growing up in Moab. For as long as she could remember, she wanted nothing more than to be a good wife and mother. Ruth counted herself fortunate to have met and married the young man named Kilion. He and his family had moved to Moab from Judah years before.

This family from Judah was very different from the families of her homeland. They had a faith in the one true God of Israel that was unshakable and a great source of personal strength. They were going to need that strength now. Everything had changed. Her father-in-law, brother-in-law, and now her own husband had died. She was a widow. Now what would she do?

The Old Testament story of Ruth is not only heartwarming and inspiring, but is a proclamation of how much God loves and cares for even the least of us. Ruth was not a great leader and she was not royalty; it is not even clear if she was a great beauty. A probable reason the story of Ruth is included in the Holy Bible is the fact that this incredible woman was determined to follow God.

Snappy, Crabby, Bite Ya Head Off

I am so guilty! I am so ashamed. How can I ever repair relationships I tear down with my out of control rages? I don't deserve these relationships. I am so unworthy. When I repeatedly fail so miserably how can I ever hope for a healthy, loving family. I know that I am one of the major problems in my life, so it is hard to feel good about facing another day. Let's face it - if I get out of bed, chances are good that I am going to hurt someone.

Can you relate? Do you struggle or have a love one that struggles with bouts of rage? No one likes being easily triggered and snapped. It is hard to normally be a joyful person who loves people,God and life, but in an instant you can turn into some kind of wild, angry, yelling monster. After the ugly words roll off the tongue, deep regret follows. Why do we angrily destroying someone we love so much?

A chemical change takes place in the body. The adrenaline hormone is rushing high because a trauma trigger has been tripped. It is like an explosion - like someone stepped on a land-mind that you didn't plant, so you were not ready for the rapid change in your body. A trauma trigger is anything that unconsciously opens the emotions of a traumatic event, and therefore the intense fear (or emotion) starts the body releasing adrenaline, which is the fight, flight or freeze hormone in our body. The emotion of fear is usually not felt, but anger rages in its place.

Thank You! Gratitude Heals

  

The other day I read in Luke 17 the true story of the ten lepers whom Jesus healed -- from sores and blisters, missing digits and, even worse I think, alienation, to wholeness. Complete wholeness of body. 

One -- only one -- of the lepers returned to thank him.

Why didn't the others?
As I've counseled Christian women, I've made the age-old observation: Hurting people hurt. As you may have surmised, hurting people -- in part because they hurt -- withhold words of gratitude. I don't think this is purposeful. It is another sign of their pain: looking inward.

Here are Counselors' Coach, you'll continue to discover ways to comfort your hurting Christian friend and minister to her. You'll know she's getting better when she shows an attitude of gratitude.

She is no longer a living example of the beaten man whom the Good Samaritan hoisted on his donkey and brought to an inn, where he bandaged his wounds and paid for is stay (Luke 10:30-35). Now she is encouraging others. She is becoming a comforter, just as God said.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God" (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).

Well Done

Dear Child,

I don't judge the way the world does. I look into the heart of each and see who is truly surrendered to live their life under My Lordship. Some will choose to live life selfishly doing what they want, seeking to satisfy their desires or to be "big" in the eyes of others. Dear Child, I want you to live to the fullest. When you live sacrificially, giving your will to Me, you join Me in kingdom work. Trust Me,  I will produce the increase.

You might not be able to see the growth produced in the hearts of others as you serve Me, but in trusting Me, leave the effect of your obedience to Me. I will produce the increase as you walk in faith with Me. Never allow the world's judgment to cloud your obedience remembering that people can't see what I can see, and often they don't know what I have told you. Listen for My voice. I will guide you through life.

You are not in a competition for My love or approval, so don't compare your part in kingdom work to others. I love each of My children without partiality. I want all of my precious children to be conformed daily into the image of Jesus, becoming more single-minded toward Me, separated unto Me.

To be faithful, in surrendering to Me, you must spend time with Me. The things of the world will constantly compete for your attention and heart. This is a competition you must resist in-order to  grow in knowing Me and allowing Me to teach you.  In doing so, you will always be living your life to do My good and perfect will, and  you will hear Me proclaim to you, "Well done, My good and faithful servant! Well done!"

Lindy Abbott 2010

In the Hollow of His hands

I've always been fascinated by hands. As a little girl I can remember sitting in church holding my mother's hand and studying its details. She has the most beautiful and strong fingernails. She never fusses with them, they just grow naturally strong and long. I've often thought she could have been a hand model when she was younger because of their near perfection. Those same hands that are so scrubbed and beautiful on Sunday mornings are often covered in dirt during the week because she is an avid gardener. She has always said she likes nothing better than getting her hands in the dirt!

I've also studied my dad's hands. I've never seen hands with more character. If hands could be described as muscular, the word would apply to Dad's hands. As a carpenter, he has used his hands to create masterpieces and repair wooden furnishings almost every day of his life. They are how he earned his living and, as a result, are rough and calloused. The tip of one of his fingers is missing as a result of an unfortunate encounter with a table saw. But Dad's hands reflect who he is: a stronger worker. Now that my parents are in their eighties, my dad's strong hands lovingly prepare  meals for my Mom and fill her pill box with her essential medications. Mom is no longer able to do it herself because of failing eye sight.

When Loving God Hurts, Is When Loving God Matters the Most....

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18 NIV)

Beautiful One, what happens to us when we've been through a crisis and we weren't completely healed  from it and tried to move on? But, while moving on we end up making huge mistakes along the way due to our lack of healing. 

Have you ever done something you never thought possible? Have you ever denied and violated your own principles and beliefs? Maybe no one knows about it; only you and God. But, because you've done it, you feel like you don't deserve God's grace and love even though you basked in it previously. Maybe a voice continually whispers, "You knew better, now you've done it!" So you allow the pain to fester. You silently suffering while going about life still trying to do the best you can.

Beautiful One, your forgetting something. Your best will never be good enough, just like your worst will never be so bad, that you can't recover. Sometimes being a Christian hurts. We have unspoken expectations of ourselves, God, and others. When met with any challenges that questions these expectations, it causes us to fear that it's all not as good as we thought. Our hope and confidence fades while pain takes its toll and we become weary.

What About the Abuser?

Two weeks ago I wrote about the perplexing question many people suffering from trauma eventually ask in their path to healing, "God, Did You Allow This to Happen to Me?"

The question that often follows is: "What About the Abuser?" People who have been horrifically abused want to know if she forgives her abuser(s) how will they be punished for what they did. Personally, I felt it was my responsibility to never forget the abuse done to everyone in my home so that my abusive father and passive-allowing mother would pay. I didn't want everyone to forget or pretend nothing happen and all the abuse brushed under the carpet in a state of pretend reality.

When questions come up about trying to understand God and abusive circumstances in our lives, freewill is often a good beginning place. In any conversation about "Why God?" a person must realize everyone in the world has been given the ability to decide and choose, but the answers to a hurting soul's questions does end with freewill. As you read in last week's article, the hurting people must move toward God's redemption that is available to all who sin. As hard as it is to swallow this truth, God's love, forgiveness, grace, and redemption is available to your abusers, just as it is for you.

More Presents to Unwrap

What fun it is to unwrap a present! The anticipation! The guessing! Let's face it, it's part of the magic of the Christmas season. Truthfully, as much as I like to open a present, I enjoy watching a child unwrap a present even more. I am a great-aunt to six children and ,oh, the sound of them opening their presents on Christmas is beautiful. I can still see the paper and bows flying every where as they impatiently tear into their gifts. Of course, we get pictures of all of it. Then, the play time begins. Every toy has to be tried out. Every outfit has to be tried on. I'm usually exhausted at the end of the day just observing all of the activity of the children.

I have a friend who does not have any children of her own. However, she and her husband have unofficially adopted the children of their best friends. On Christmas morning, they roll out of bed at 7:00 AM and - still in their pajamas - drive to the home of their adopted children so they can be there when they get up and watch them open their gifts. That's how much enjoyment they get from it.

But, imagine never opening the presents. What if you had just left your presents under the tree this year having decided to just look at the beautiful paper and ribbons. What if the children woke up on Christmas morning and just sat around the tree and gazed upon their gifts. They would never be able to play with their new toys. They would never be able to feel the warmth of the new sweatshirt or new socks. If you had received a new coffee maker from your spouse, you would never enjoy the coffee that machine produced. What good would that be?

Detours, Determination and Destiny

Beautiful One, have you been cruising along the freeway of life and suddenly found yourself on an unexpected detour? When detours arise without warning, it is hard to react quick enough to get back on track; we just hold and hope for the best.

Detours, bumps in the road, and even road blocks happen to everyone. Some are foreseeable and we can sometimes avoid them. However, there are obstacles that come out of nowhere like the loss of a job, physical or mental abuse, an affair, or even illness. Maybe a loved one dies. Maybe you woke up one day and realized you're addicted. These are just a few of the unexpected detours that insert themselves into our lives.

These sudden back roads can be painful and difficult to recover from. It doesn't help that we alienate ourselves from others. Systematically we push others away as the pain festers within because we feel afraid and misunderstood. Slowly but surely we become the product of complacency, tolerance and indecision. As time passes, we become so familiar on our detoured route that even if we wanted to make a turn for the better, the fear is so great within us, that we opt to stay in our misery.

God, Did You Allow This To Happen To Me?

How many times have you heard it said "If God is a God of love, why did He let this happen?" Just this week, we are seeing one of the greatest disaster in the history of the world. Tens of thousands, possibly hundreds of thousands, of Haitians are dead, buried in the ruble of cement buildings that crumbled in an earthquake. Sadly, the news coming out of Haiti is getting worse, not better.

During times like these, it is not unusual for people who never consider God to asked God-sized questions: "How could this happen?", "Why did this happen?", and "Who can help these suffering people?" When people come to the end of their rope, they turn to God. However, this turning does not always mean they are seeking to know the Creator. Horrific disasters illicit anger and hinder one's belief in an all-knowing, all-seeing, all-capable God.

The same holds true for people who have been abused by those they should have been able to trust. The very ones who were to love and protect them, inflicted unspeakable wounds. It is impossible to recover from abuse and trauma without asking this question, "God, did you allow this to happen?"

It may not be those exact words. Many variations have the same meaning: "God, why didn't you stop it?", "God, how could you weave me in my mother's womb knowing  what would happen to me?", "God, why did you give me those parents?", "God, why didn't you help me?", "God, how could you have watched?", or "God, where were You when I was being abused?" The questions are almost endless and difficult to hear.

Isn't this the big question that is so hard to answer?  I cannot tell you how many times I have asked this. Not in a complaining, whining, poor me way, but in a honest searching quest of wanting to better understand God and my life.

According To God

Beautiful One, yesterday is gone, tomorrow has yet to arrive, here we are in today! Today, let's diminish the lies, cast off the regret, and determine in our hearts to be all we were created to be. Whether we win or lose in life does not matter; it's how we play the game that defines who we are . . . according to God!

I am amazed at the many goals and expectations the New Year tempts us to set. We are more inclined to make new goals and set fresh standards in January more than at any other time. What fascinates me is that even though this can be a good thing, it can also be an easy recipe for failure. What often happens is that if we lacked discipline in the previous year, we will probably struggle with it in a new year. Our goals and resolutions sound great and invigorate our hearts and minds, but just because it is January 1 of a new year, doesn't mean discipline automatically enters the picture.

This is just one example illustrating how we tend to think and operate in our daily lives; we start out committed and excited, then life happens. Work, kids, bills, you know . . .  life! Slowly and unintentionally our resolve starts wane and all our good intentions fly out the window. It's as if we think that just by setting goals, we will automatically attain them without any effort.

Beautiful One, I'm not saying we should not try new things or attempt to better ourselves; absolutely! try it, but start small and build from there. We need goals; we need fresh perspective in our lives.

However, what we need more than anything is a renewed mind; free of worry and doubt, but refueled with the Spirit. A mind that is at peace with God, so in return we will have peace within ourselves. In order for us to embrace a new beginning, we need to free our hearts and our minds from all the old things. Today is a new day, and the things that worked against you are old. God has something new to lay hold of and we simply cannot embrace it if our minds are already full of old stuff that needs renewal.

The Story Behind the Song

 

All things work together for good to them who love God.  (Romans 8:28 KJV)

How can anything good come from losing someone I loved so much? How can God possibly be glorified through this tragedy? Have you asked yourself these questions? The journey of mourning often makes the verse in Romans seem impossible. The fog brought on by the pain of loss makes it difficult to see beyond the next moment, let alone the next week or the next year. But the truth is that God will weave a beautiful tapestry of all the events of your life that will touch and encourage the lives of others. Today, I would like to look at a couple of examples of how God used the most painful times in the lives of Christians to inspire them to compose beautiful hymns of praise.

Horatio Spafford was a successful lawyer in Chicago who was a deeply spiritual man. In 1870 Horatio's 4 year old son died of scarlet fever. The following year, he lost all of his real estate investment in the great Chicago fire. In 1873 when the famous evangelist D.L. Moody went to Great Britian for an evangelistic campaign, Horatio Spafford decided to take his wife and four daughters to England to assist in the mission. When a business problem came up, Spafford elected to stay behind but sent his family ahead to England with plans to soon join them. His family boarded the S.S. Ville du Havre and began the trip across the Atlantic Ocean. On November 22, the ship with Horatio's family aboard was struck by an English vessel and sank immediately. His wife survived but all four of his daughters drown. Spafford took the next ship to England to be with his wife. When he came to the location on that lonely ocean where his precious daughters perished, he wrote this poem that was later set to music. Perhaps you will recognize it.

"When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say
It is well, It is well with my soul."

The Heart of Christmas, Caring for Your Loved One

 What comes to mind when you think upon Christmas?  Does your memory conjure up images of snow, presents under the tree, and lots of good food? I’m sure that it does.  But if you are busy caring for an ill loved one, thoughts of preparing for the Christmas celebrations may cause you to feel stressed and worried.  

You’re probably asking yourself questions such as these; “When will I find extra time to shop for presents, or bake Christmas cookies, not to mention throwing up at least a few decorations?”  I’m here to remind to you today that Christmas shouldn’t produce these feelings of fear and or dread.  If it does we need to remind ourselves that our priorities are somewhat out of alignment.  Lets take a deep breath and slow down for a moment.  Nothing else is more important than our relationship with Christ and that of our loved ones.  If we stress and fret over the many little to-do’s, we inadvertently chip away and lose precious time in these two vital areas of relationship!

Do you remember a certain fad from years ago? The one that most every Christian teen wore around their wrist or on their person in some way shape or form?  I’m sure you do.  It was the WWJD fad.  Do you remember what the acronym stands for?  It cautions the observer to stop and think, “What Would Jesus Do”?  If Jesus were in our shoes,  how would He respond in this given situation?

I still own a long key chain with these letters on it.  I continue to practice asking myself how Jesus would respond in my personal situations.  For a moment, lets stop and think about how the Lord would have us approach the celebration of His birth, particularly as it applies to the responsibility of caring for another.  The greatest gift that we can give to each other is our time, love and patience.  It’s nice that we exchange gifts with one another, and equally nice to have presents under the tree.  But remember God loves those who give out of a happy heart.

Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. (2 Corinthians 9:7 NIV)

Celebrate!

But now, this is what the LORD says—  he who created you, O Jacob, "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;  and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior." (Isaiah 43: 1-7 NIV)

Beautiful One, here we are in the middle of the holiday season; its arrival may have surprised some of us. Christmas is a beloved time of year. We celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior as we gather together with family and friends. It is a season of giving to others and celebrating the culmination of every good thing in our lives. But, truly . . . how are you feeling?

For many, Christmas is a time filled with deep sadness. For those who are disconnected and displaced from friends and loved ones, this time of year can actually be depressing. Maybe painful memories fill the air instead of holiday cheer.

Beautiful One, we tend to be more sensitive to the reality of mishaps and misfortunes in our lives this time of year. Maybe it's because it is appropriate to spend time with our loved ones, or the individual expectations that everyone seems to have. But, what if your family is at odds? Pride and bitterness fill the punch bowl, and all who partake of the misery are tainted in some way. It can be stressful, if not explosive!

Traveling with a Disabled Person

 

As Christmas approaches, many people will be traveling to spend time with family and friends. My parents and sister are visiting from South Africa and I've been reminded of the challenges that disabled people face when away from their home environment. My sister has mental and physical disabilities and although she can walk, she is slow and unsteady on her feet and needs a supporting hand when out of the house. I've had to slow my pace and look for the best ways to help her and accommodate her needs.

This got me thinking about disabled visitors. If you have a disabled friend or relative visiting over the holiday season, there are ways to make life easier for them. A little forward planning can go a long way so read through these suggestions and make plans and preparations before they arrive.

Accommodation for People with Disabilities

Depending on the type of disability, a person may have specific needs when it comes to living arrangements. Meeting these requirements as far as possible can make the visit a pleasant one for all concerned. These are some of the areas to consider. Does the person need a special bed? What height, type of mattress and firmness is required? Will protective sheets be necessary and what about a safety rail? Do they prefer to shower or bath and do they need a bath seat or other equipment? Is your home wheelchair friendly and are there stairs and uneven surfaces? It is possible to hire some equipment and the best thing to do, is discuss the issues with the person concerned before making arrangements.

What about the Garden

People with mobility problems and impaired vision will find a hilly garden with rock features and narrow paths difficult to manage. If you are planning on outdoor entertaining, try and center this around areas that are suitable for your guests. Flat paved areas with shelter from the elements are ideal. Be careful of any loose stones or cracks that could snag a crutch or trip someone up. If you have a pool, invite the disabled person to join in the fun. Many find water exercise ideal and with assistance can have a great time. Even if they prefer to sit on the steps and splash around, it will be enjoyable for them.

Thanksgiving Leftovers

I don't know about you, but I always double the recipes for our Thanksgiving meal. I like to have leftovers! I guess you could say I enjoy them as much as I do the actual meal - for different reasons. Thanksgiving is all about family, friends, and gratitude. But, the weekend after Thanksgiving is devoted to the leftovers; and that's all about food!. I love talking about the recipes you typically only use with the turkey and dressing leftovers. My favorite is a casserole made with turkey, sour cream, cream of mushroom soup and dressing on top. My plan is to try a new recipe this year for Turkey Enchiladas. My point is that Thanksgiving Day is wonderful and special. But the days following can be special in terms of food. To me, the word "leftovers" does not have a negative meaning. It has a yummy meaning.

Here's another fact about me. I'm a quilter. I love working with fabric, cutting out a pattern, and sewing the pieces together to make a quilt. In my mind, quilts are a work of art. I know they are also a work of love. If you have ever pieced a quilt before, you know that there are always tons of scraps leftover from the original piece of fabric. True to character I suppose, the scraps are one of my favorite parts. The unexpected shapes and fabric pieces can be combined to make some of the most beautiful art quilts. One of my favorite styles of art quilts is a Crazy Patch. When you create a Crazy Patch quilt, you simply start with one little scrap and randomly add other scraps until you have a whole quilt. With this technique of quilting, one is never really sure of the outcome, you're only sure it's going to be a magical mosaic of color and shape; made out of scraps, no less.

If you are grieving the loss of someone you loved, perhaps you are looking at the rest of your life without them as "leftovers". Perhaps you feel as if your life has been left in oddly shaped scraps. While this may be true, the good news is that the rest of your life can still be beautiful. Imagine taking the leftovers of the world that you knew before and combining them to make a delicious new recipe. It is a different taste but still delicious. Think about the pile of scraps that used to be your existence. Do they look useless to you? Start picking them up, rearranging them. Stitch them together and see the beautiful quilt they can become. Then display your artwork with pride.

Eve, A Crowned Jewel

Now Cain said to his brother Abel, "Let's go out to the field." And while they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him. (Genesis 4:8 NIV)

Beautiful One, what happens when someone's actions are hurtful, and their consequences affect you directly? What happens when a child, spouse, parent, or sibling does the unthinkable? How do we move forward when the pain holds us back?

I have spent a lot of time thinking about Eve, the first woman. In my opinion she is the crown God placed upon creation. God formed and fashioned her according to his own image using a rib from the Adam, the first man. God didn't just call her out, He carefully and skillfully took his time with her. (I like to think that God saved the best for last.)

Eve was beautifully formed and chosen, given by God himself in the Garden Of Eden to be a companion and helper to her husband. Eve was fully equipped to provide Adam with love, companionship and the help he needed. I think we sometimes forget what an incredible treasure woman is.

Eve was created and existed in a beautiful place, but heartache and hardship were just around the corner.  Adam and Eve were banished from the lush garden when they disobeyed God said turned their ears to the voice of another.

5 Steps to have a Happy Holiday in a Dysfunctional Family

One holiday down! Now we are smack-dab in the "Holiday Season."  Whatever happen on Thanksgiving, there is not one single thing you can do to change it now. But, if something did go really wrong, you can take time to talk about it, even if the only person that is willing to discuss it is God. Are there any people you need to ask for forgiveness? Were you selfish? Were you selfless? Both are sinful, simply two sides of the same sinful coin. 

Holidays are most people's favorite times of the year, but for dysfunctional families it can be the worst of times. It is during these festive of times that the abuse and dysfunction bubble to the surface. Not that abuse happens only during the holidays, but the fact is that the pain is more intense this time of year. And the more intense the pain, the more apt those hurting are to spew their sickness on to others. "Happy Holidays" takes on a whole different meaning for survivors of abuse or those drowning in dysfunction!

There is good news. God gives each of us freewill to choose, and we have a lot of choices to make. When you are God's child, you no longer need to fear what man can do to you, or live to please man. You are free to live for God, and to listen to His desires for your safety, peace, and joy. Out of your weaknesses, He can be strong. So, where does one begin? Here are five simple steps to apply to this season so you can approach holidays to make them happy for you and your own family.

Are our Churches Disability Friendly

In recent years, a greater awareness of the need for disabled-friendly buildings has arisen. Most new structures are built with this in mind and in many countries, public buildings are required to provide wheelchair access and wheelchair toilets. Even so, there are often times when disabled people may feel uncomfortable in a church environment.

What does a Church Building need to be Disabled-friendly

People with mobility issues or wheelchairs and those with sight problems need level floors, wide doors and access ramps. Wheelchair toilets are a must and flat wide paths through garden areas are useful. The best way to determine what a particular facility is lacking is to ask disabled people who make regular use of it. It may be something as simple as a hand rail or it may require major renovations. At the end of the day, can we place a price on making our church user-friendly?

What other ways can a Church cater for the Disabled

There are many little actions that show people with disabilities that the church cares for them and is willing to accommodate their needs. Simple things like taking communion to someone in a wheelchair can save them the difficulty of maneuvering their way to the front. Seating deaf people in the front will enable them to lip read if there is no Sign Language interpreter present. What about taking a chair off the end of a row so a wheelchair can park there? There is no reason why people in wheelchairs should have to sit at the back week after week. Are guide dogs welcome to sit in the service and are large print notices or hymn books available for visually impaired people?

Are Services and Gatherings Punctual

While there is a place for flexibility, the needs and routines of people with disabilities need to be considered. If a person or group are dropped and collected by a bus at certain times, it can be disappointing for them to miss the end of a sermon or the chance to socialize after a service. If there is a special celebration service or similar happening, find out if their timetable can be adjusted for that Sunday. It means a lot to people when their circumstances are considered.

Here Comes That Dreamer

"Here comes that dreamer!" they said to each other. (Genesis 37:19 NIV)

Beautiful One, did you know that without a dream, your dream can't come true? And while were on the subject, since when do dreams know boundaries anyway?

We are rapidly approaching the end of another year. Maybe we started this year with great expectations. As we moved through the months maybe our expectations or goals encountered troubles that seemed to push us back and down. Whether we were setback or moved forward doesn't really matter. In the end, everything we encountered is all part of God's plan. Everything will work together and for our good. Imagine that! Think about it this way: setbacks are actually setups. Setbacks can be the very blueprints for our amazing comebacks. If we allow it, they can be the catalyst that ushers us into the very thing God had in store for us all along.

Beautiful One, we need to remember that God is in control at all times. The Bible clearly tells us that the steps of a man are directed by the Lord (Proverbs 20:24 NIV). So, if you have stepped into trouble somewhere along the way, be of good cheer! There has never been a step you have taken that God himself didn't already foresee and make provision for.

Breaking the Cyle of Abuse - Part 3

Breaking the cycle of abuse is one of the most important responsibilities of a survivor. It is critical and godly work to stop the sinful cycle of family abuse that often exists in the spiritual realm as a generational curse. You may not find status, financial wealth, career bliss, or other worldly measure of success, but you can and must press into God with a tenacious heart that will not let go until God breaks the cycle of abuse.

Speaking from personal experience, sometimes it can feel like you are trying to turn the Titanic 180 degrees, in slow-motion style, away from the iceberg it is about to hit. It will not be an easy life and you will learn again and again to repent, die to self, and claim each victory for the Lord. But, it is through being so needy that you will also succeed and grow deeply with God.

If someone along the way promised you a life that would be 'happily ever after', they lied. Especially if it was promised by someone trying to convince you to become a Christian and have all your problems dissolve into blessing from above. Just like many Cinderella stories, it sounds nice and hopeful, but it just isn't reality. Chances are you will suffer; sometimes even more intensely in this world if you are living a life surrendered to God.

Understanding Asperger’s Syndrome

 

Asperger's Syndrome is a form of autism where the person is often highly intelligent but struggles with communication and social interaction. The condition is not widely recognized and undiagnosed children and adults may end up in work and school situations that are uncomfortable for them. Asperger's Syndrome is often detected when a child starts preschool. He will generally interact better with his teacher than his peers and may display silly, loud, aggressive or socially withdrawn behavior.

 In some cases, Asperger's can be classed as a disability and appropriate help and resources can be sought.

In order for us to help people with Asperger's Syndrome, it is important that we familiarize ourselves with the symptoms and typical behavior patterns. I have met several people with the condition over the last few years and understanding the implications has helped me to relate to them in a better manner.

How does Asperger's Syndrome affect a Person

Asperger's Syndrome is characterized by problems in three areas and the level of difficulty experienced can vary greatly from person to person. The areas are social communication, social interaction and social imagination.

Asperger's Syndrome and Social Communication

People with Asperger's Syndrome often speak in a strange manner, with a flat monotonous tone. They also tend to speak slowly. Eye contact, facial expression and body language are a mystery to them and when talking to another person, they struggle to read signs of boredom, impatience or frustration. This means they keep talking and may gain a reputation for being insensitive and boring. The child may appear cold and unemotional, but it is not deliberate. He does not think about others and cannot understand the social graces that keep society functioning.

Water In The Pipe

Beautiful One, did you know that when enough pressure is applied to your life, you can break?
Even the most anointed, faith-filled, powerful people will break in extreme situations. The fact is: we all have a breaking point, and none of us knows where it is until we reach it.

The Bible is filled with stories of men and women just like us; they had desires and dreams, as well as weaknesses, vulnerabilities, and pain. What made these men and women notable in the history of Gods Word? What made these people catch the attention of God and stand out? Could it be that they just took him at his Word and believed Him? Is it really that simple?

Beautiful One, why is it when we encounter trying times that we so easily forget that there is nothing new under the sun? Our trials may be new to us, but the truth is that someone somewhere has walked through the same thing before us. We need to remember that our trials are our teachers and they are meant to define our faith, not destroy it.

When we examine the lives of great men and women, often times the things that made them great were not their successes. It was the perseverance they displayed against the enormous odds that they faced. They never gave up!

Beautiful One, let me remind you that there will be seasons in life where you will feel insurmountable pressure. There will be times when nothing makes sense, including God. Everything we thought we understood inexplicably escapes our grasp.

The Multi-faceted Diamond

This summer, we have explored many names of the One True God. Today I would like to wrap up this series by reviewing each name of God and how perfectly they minister to the grieving heart. If your life has been turned upside down by a tragic loss, then let the words of this column sink in and comfort your soul.

The Great I Am is the Being who was there in the beginning, is here right now, and will be there in the future. He has been with you every minute of your life, every minute of your happiness and every minute of your pain. He is unchangeable. He is dependable. The Great I Am has promised that weeping may remain for the night but joy will come in the morning (Psalm 30:5). He is close to you in your time of broken heartedness and will save you when your spirit is crushed (Psalm 34:18).

Jehovah-Jireh means the LORD Will Provide. It is the very character of God to provide for His children. Dear one, this means you. He is your Heavenly Father who never takes His eyes off you and delights in providing for your needs. Jehovah-Jireh leads you beside the still waters and restores your soul in your darkest hour. In the valley of the shadow of death, He provides you with goodness and mercy (Psalm 23).

Jehovah-Rophe is the Lord Who Heals you. If you have experienced the loss of someone your love dearly, you are in desperate need of healing. Jehovah-Rophe has promised to restore your health and heal your wounds (Jeremiah 30:17). Your eyes may be growing weak from weeping and the pain may go all the way down to your bones; but Jehovah-Rophe has heard your cries (see Psalm 6:2). Look to the Lord Who Heals. He's waiting to hear from you.

Breaking the Cycle of Abuse - Part 2

People who have been abused have one thing in common - they hate to be told they must forgive their abuser. "You don't know what you are talking about!" "Don't give me that religious crap!" "I will NEVER  forgive or forget what was done to me." "How dare you push forgiveness in my face!" "You don't understand, you could never understand; if you did you would never ask me to forgive." "It is impossible. I have tried over and over. How can I ever completely forgive?"

But in all this deep emotion, people who have been abused share something else in common, they all have the responsibility to break the cycle of abuse. Forgiveness is about God. It is not about you. Since God is able, He can change the course set by generations of evil living and ensure that you will be able to train up a godly generation; a generation that will be determined to never abuse their children.

For the abused, there is little shortage of experiencing great needs. Often, a person who has lived through the hell associated with an abusive home fervently seeks the answers to life. They are compelled by a deep-seated, inner emptiness knowing there must be more to living than suffering. The hunger to be set free from pain frequently leads a survivor of abuse to push through the shallowness of fake-living to seek a deeper meaning and a way to be healed. When a person genuinely seeks Truth, God makes sure that it can be found through Him.

Breaking the Abuse Cycle - Part 1

I went to a fast food restaurant after church with my family where a young girl took our order. I could not help but notice that she had a fat lip with stitches. I felt compelled to ask her if she was alright and to find out how this happen. With compassion, I gently asked her. She softly spoke, "My boyfriend did this." I told her I was so sorry, and I took the time to look deep into her eyes with empathy. I totally knew how she felt. When I was close to her age I had a fat lip too from being beaten. She needed protection, a clean break, and a determination to not allow herself to be in an abusive relationship again.

Survivors of abuse are the only people that can break this cycle. Statistics are clear. Victims of abuse are more likely to be abusive to their own family. Most people parent as they were raised. Abuse follows a generational cycle that is not only taught through experience, but that has a strong spiritual generational curse that must be broken. Just as important, neurological pathways are developed throughout childhood, and unless they are rewired, abuse is a 'naturally programmed' response.

How does a person break the cycle of abuse? What does God say in His Word? Breaking the cycle of abuse is not easy, but here are the three great steps in the right direction:

1. Repentance
   
2. Forgiveness
3. Surrender
   

JEHOVAH-SABAOTH - Fighting the Battle for the Grieving Heart

He was a fine looking boy. Anyone who met him couldn't help but notice his rosy-red cheeks and the hint of peach fuzz on his face. David was the youngest of eight boys. As the youngest, his job was to tend to the sheep while his older brothers were in the army defending their country. Young David divided his time between sheep-tending in his home town and running errands for the King at Oak Valley where the army was camped. One day, David's father was very concerned about his older sons and curious about how the battle was going. Since he was too old to make the trip himself, he sent David to Oak Valley with bread and cheese for his brothers. While he was there, David saw for himself why the battle was not going well for his countrymen. David saw a giant. This 10-foot tall Philistine named Goliath was mocking the army of Israel and had all the soldiers quaking in their boots. No one was willing to fight the giant.

David may have been young and small, but he was not short on faith. He knew the reputation of his country was at stake. Besides, he couldn't stand hearing the giant mock the army of the living God. Bravely,David volunteered to step out and fight the giant. Shocked, King Saul told him he was too young and inexperienced. But David convinced the King that he would rely on the same God who had rescued him when he fought lions and bears while tending sheep. So, the King agreed. Can you imagine the look on the giant's face when little David stepped out onto the battlefield with only a sling and five stones as his weapon? But the giant couldn't see David's greatest weapon. David called upon JEHOVAH-SABAOTH, the Lord of Hosts to fight the battle for him. And so it happened. With one sling of a stone, the giant fell dead to the ground.(see 1 Samuel 17)

What's Stopping You?

When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, "Do you want to get well?"

"Sir," the invalid replied, "I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me."

 Then Jesus said to him, "Get up! Pick up your mat and walk. (John 5:5-8 NIV) 

Beautiful One, do you know that in one day, something that has hurt you for years can turn around? In one hour, you can rise out of the ashes of adversity. The question is: do you believe it? Or has adversity tainted your faith and polluted your mind? Does blindness prevent you from seeing things the way they really are?

Beautiful One, do you want to be well?

Countless books have been written about Jesus. Who exactly was He? Scholars and theologians alike have given their insight about the most notable and famous man that ever lived. Even 2000 years later, when you mention the name of Jesus it can incite love and adoration, or disbelief and disregard. Many will fall somewhere in between the two scenarios. But, no matter what one believes about Jesus, there is no denying his influence upon this earth.

The Bible records Jesus three and half years of ministry. During those years, we can see a common thread. He came to help people, to change and make their lives better. He loved people no matter what they had done. In fact, the more things people had done to incur pain and chaos, the more attention and care Jesus showed them.

Leanne’s Story – Born with Rubinstein-Taybi Syndrome – Part 2

 This is part two of my sister's story as told by my mother. You can read part one here.

Has Leanne had medical problems?

Leanne has had much illness but always comes through smiling and her recovery from operations is good as she does not anticipate pain. She had her thumbs straightened at a young age and later had her right patella removed. After this, she was still not walking well and it was suggested that a wedge of bone be removed. It meant 12 weeks in a plaster cast so we knew it would be a difficult time. Just before she was due to go back to the hospital for removal of the first cast, we went to a healing service and I wheeled her to the front for prayer. When we went to the hospital she came back with her leg wrapped in a crepe bandage. The bones had set well and there was no need for her to have a second plaster.

What other surgeries has Leanne needed?

Leanne suffered a twisted bowel in her 20's. The surgeon operated and led us to believe he had cut out a piece of the intestine. Meanwhile he had just straightened the offending area. After we moved to South Africa the problem flared up several times causing vomiting attacks. She was admitted to hospital and late one evening they operated and found she had a mega colon and gangrene had set in. She was in ICU for three weeks. The following morning the church was on its knees praying for healing as she was on the critical list. About eight weeks later she returned home with a colostomy which has since been closed.

In 2007 she had a troublesome mole removed. It was found to be malignant. They operated a second time to make sure there was no further trace of cancer and to date she remains clear. She knows about the melanoma but cancer is never mentioned because she knows and understands what it can do to you.

She has also had multiple surgeries to remove eyelashes that caused irritation and weeping eyes.

The Edge....

"I have had enough, LORD, take my life; I am no better than my ancestors"(1 Kings 19:4-5 NIV).

Beautiful One, did you know that you can be in love with God, following him, and still, have a broken heart?

Did you know it's possible to have friends and family that love you and yet be alone? Do you know what it is to experience without a doubt, God moving mountains and parting waters on your behalf, and still feel like giving up? Do you know what it is to be wandering around and not knowing which way to go? You just stay on the path and hope a turn is coming up somewhere.

Beautiful One, you are not alone. 

The edge is a place that many speak about. Many have said, "I am on the edge of a breakthrough!" However, others know the edge of no return. Life as we knew it, is gone. To go backwards would set us back. To just stop would paralyze us. And, to keep going would send us into the abyss of the unknown.

When you've reached the edge, you have experienced so many losses that you don't even care about winning. You just accept that is your portion in life and you eat spoonfuls of misery. And while something deep inside your soul groans, your heart is screaming don't give up!

Almost There....

When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died."  (John 11:32 NIV)

Beautiful One, have you ever questioned God's sovereignty and been disappointed? Does God get any glory from things that don't happen? This may seem obvious but, when we walk through certain trials and tribulations, we sometimes question the Lord. Why did you let this happen, God? You could have prevented this or changed it.

Many Christians struggle with these questions. It's as if they are afraid to admit it, fearing they may appear to have a weak faith or no faith at all. In case no one told you, we all question God and He does not mind our questions. He created us to think and to problem solve. When an answer seems to escape us and, we turn to the One who knows it all. It is not a sign of struggling faith, but rather a genuine heart longing for a reason. If you didn't have faith you wouldn't even ask such things of God.

The Bible tells us that if we have faith the size of a mustard seed, we can move mountains. That means when we apply the soothing balm of faith to our problems, we can remove them. We know those words about faith are true, but what happens when the only thing your mountain does, is grow larger while still standing in your way?

Beautiful One, sometimes things happen that make absolutely no sense. Sometimes in the midst of turmoil, we think we've done something wrong; we think an attack came as a result of some failure on our part. This is not always the case; trouble sometimes shows up to divert your attention, and throw you off course. Why? Because you are so close to receiving God's promise of glory and honor in your life.

Don't give up, you're almost there!

JEHOVAH-SHAMMAH: The LORD is There for the Grieving Heart

 

Several years ago, my husband and I hiked to the highest point on the Cumberland Plateau area of Kentucky.  After the long hike up the mountain, we reached an amazing lookout point where you could see for miles. It was 
breath taking. My husband wanted to hike a little higher but I wanted to stay where I was because the rest of the trail was very steep. So, I stayed by myself. I have to admit that I got a little scared on that mountain ridge all alone. It was probably the most alone I have ever felt and I really didn't like that feeling.

My mountain climbing adventure made me ask the question, "Am I ever truly alone?" For the children of God, the answer to this question is "no". The Almighty God revealed a very important facet of His character in the Old Testament book of Ezekiel when He renamed the city of Jerusalem JEHOVAH-SHAMMAH which means "The LORD is There." Our Father underscored the fact that He will never leave us. He is with us every minute of every day. Not only is He with us in every joy but also in every heartache. JEHOVAH-SHAMMAH never leaves us alone. King David described this idea beautifully in Psalm 139:2-12 (The Message).

...even from a distance, you know what I'm thinking.
You know when I leave and when I get back;
I'm never out of your sight.
You know everything I'm going to say
before I start the first sentence.
I look behind me and you're there,
then up ahead and you're there, too-
your reassuring presence, coming and going.
This is too much, too wonderful-
I can't take it all in!

Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit?
to be out of your sight?
If I climb to the sky, you're there!
If I go underground, you're there!
If I flew on morning's wings
to the far western horizon,
You'd find me in a minute-
you're already there waiting!
Then I said to myself, "Oh, he even sees me in the dark!
At night I'm immersed in the light!"
It's a fact: darkness isn't dark to you;
night and day, darkness and light, they're all the same to you.

I must admit, the idea that God is everywhere is sometimes hard to grasp. He is omnipresent. In other words, God is not limited by time or space because He is everywhere at the same time. What's more, all of His power and glory is totally present in all space at all times. JEHOVAH-SHAMMAH doesn't thin out! He isn't more present with one person than He is with another. My human brain can't conceive it but I am so grateful for it. Like David said, "everywhere I look - God is there."

My dear friend, are you feeling alone or abandoned in your time of grief? Please realize that even though you are  feeling alone, you are not. The LORD is There! He was there when you first heard the news that your loved one   had passed. He has been there every minute counting every tear you shed. God is making Himself known to you at this very moment. Can you feel your heart warming as He is hugging you?

In all their troubles, He was troubled,too.
He didn't send someone else to help them.
He did it himself, in person.
Out of His own love and pity,
He redeemed them.
He rescued them and carried them along
for a long, long time.  (Isaiah 63:9 The Message)

The New Testament describes a time when the LORD was there when a child was born in Bethlehem. In fact that child's name is Immanuel,"God with us!" That same child grew to be a man who gave his life willingly on the cross so that you and I could live with God eternally. His name is JEHOVAH-JESUS who is also JEHOVAH-SHAMMAH. Wherever Jesus is, "The LORD is There" because Jesus is God in bodily form (see Colossians 2:9).

The fact that the LORD is ever-present and always there is woven into other New Testament writings as well.

For God has said," I will never fail you, I will never abandon you." Hebrews 13:5 (NLT)

Isn't that the most beautiful thought in the world? The God of the Universe has promised to never abandon us. He has promised to always be there. Take a deep breath, my friend. Breathe in the presence of JEHOVAH-SHAMMAH.

Journaling Ideas

1. Read Matthew 28:20b. What do these words of Jesus mean to you?

2. Describe a time when you felt alone. What emotions did you feel?

3. Do you truly believe that God is always there? Why or why not?

4. What has surprised you about your grief journey?

5. How do you envision your future?

Your Grieving Toolbox

 Today's tool to add to your toolbox is fragrance. I like the symbolism of fragrance as it relates to JEHOVAH-SHAMMAH because even though it totally surrounds you, you can't see it. This tool is particularly exciting because fragrant candles are so popular right now. Choose a scented candle that makes you smile when you smell it. Then light it and let it remind you that just like the fragrance, JEHOVAH-SHAMMAH is there and surrounding you.

Beautiful child of God, I pray that you will breathe in the goodness and mercy that follows you all the days of your life as you dwell in the house of the LORD forever (Based on Psalm 23).

Warning Signs of a Bad Therapist

Who can I trust? Not again! I hate having to tell my painful life history over and over. And even if I do, will the 'therapist' even know how to treat me? I certainly don't want to open myself up and find out that the counselor doesn't know 'how to put me back together again.' Why should I even disturb my life? It isn't great, but at least I am somewhat managing the important stuff."

These are the common thoughts of so many people hurting from being abused or traumatized. How can one find a good therapist?

Finding a good therapist is like trying to find the right church or best friend. Unfortunately, it often takes experiencing some bad therapist to helps us recognize a gem. The absolute given in looking for a therapist is to make sure she is a solid believer in Jesus as her Lord and Savior. All wisdom comes from God, so she needs to have a personal relationship with Him. Many people say they are Christian, but few allow God to be the central core of their life. You are looking for a therapist that is Spirit-led, and active in her fellowship with other believers. You want a therapist that prays with you and looks to God to lead your therapy session. She knows apart from God you will never be thoroughly and permanently healed, because He is the Healer!

Your therapist, with God's help, will be one of the most influential people of your healing process. I have been to at least a dozen different therapist. From experience, I can tell you the warning signs of a bad therapist. If your current therapist has several of these signs, I encourage to seriously consider your decision and maybe even seek another professional. A bad therapist can cause more trauma and serious emotional pain that can set your healing back a long time.

Leanne’s Story – Born with Rubinstein-Taybi Syndrome - Part 1

Leanne's story is one very close to my heart – she is my sister. She has lived with my parents since she was born and I asked my mom to share what it's like to care for a disabled person.

Tell us about Leanne's birth

Leanne was born December 29, 1966, by Caesarean section and weighed 6 pounds, 3 ounces. This was in Zimbabwe. She was tiny but wide awake, always wanting her bottle and appeared fine apart from her thumbs which were turned outwards. From day one she seemed prone to vomiting and consequently did not gain weight. At six weeks I had to take her to a specialist for a check up and it was when he measured her head that I began to wonder about retardation.

What was Leanne's diagnosis?

I found that the doctors had advised against telling me until I was stronger - and then no one uttered a word to me. Her condition is known as Rubenstein-Taybi syndrome and it can range from very severe to very mild. Some children are unable to speak; others have no feeling - they could put their hands in fire and feel nothing. Rather than feeling sad when I was told, I was challenged, particularly when the specialist said she would be "totally ineducable". Years later I found out that the Prayer Healing Group at my Church had prayed for her weekly, knowing there was a problem, but not knowing any details. This continued over some years.

How does this affect Leanne?

Leanne is a moderate case with an IQ in the 60s. She talks well and reads with comprehension. Her writing is poor but her spelling outstanding. Muscle tone is her greatest problem. Her thumbs were broken and straightened when she was very small and while not perfect, they look better than they were.

Did Leanne go to school?

When she was three years old it was suggested that she go to a school for the mentally disabled. A bus picked her up from home and returned her in the afternoon. At that time Leanne was not toilet trained and could not walk. She seemed reasonably happy there but as her mother, I was not. She had already made it clear that she was going to be extremely difficult to feed and hated meat and vegetables. The school insisted on forcing it down her and she often vomited it back, either there or later at home. After a year or two, a teacher who knew my father, said Leanne was in the wrong place and that I should move her. That was all I needed to hear!

In Our Town

If there is a poor man among your brothers in any of the towns of the land that the LORD your God is giving you, do not be hardhearted or tightfisted toward your poor brother.  Rather be openhanded and freely lend him whatever he needs. (Deuteronomy 15:7-8 NIV)

Beautiful One, how open handed are you?

No matter where we go or what town we are in, we will encounter the poor. Whether we drive past them on a street corner, while vacationing, or walking to work, at some point we will encounter them.

There is no denying that the poor are among us.

No matter how secure we are in our comfortable lives (whether we live high up on a hill, or low in a valley) the truth remains that there is always a brother or sister in great need within our own backyards. What thought crosses your mind when you read their sign asking for help? How do they make us feel? . . . annoyed? angry? charitable? Maybe we judge them and find justifications as to why they are there.

As if we know.

Maybe we pretend not to see them. Do we dare make eye contact?

Beautiful One, suffering is so prevalent in our world and it can be overwhelming. We do our best as Christians to love people, serve in our churches, and give to ministries, and overall, many of us do try to make a difference.

Sometimes though, the places God directs us are not to the farthest regions of the earth, but right here, in our own town. I can support missionaries who go to Africa, but what am I doing to support the family that just lost everything down the street? What about that single mother I know who is raising her children by herself? Who is helping her children who are fatherless, and without their working mother fifteen hours a day? What about that homeless man who loiters the same street corner day after day? What am I doing to help ease his suffering? Oh that's right, I gave him a few bucks once. I felt really good about it  and then continued on my way.

Recently I went out of town for my birthday. I went to dinner and enjoyed walking the streets of the city I was visiting. As I walked a small, frail-looking man scurried past me; he headed straight towards a garbage can.

Abby’s Story – Life with Spina Bifida – Part Two

Abigail Brauteseth was born with spina bifida and hydrocephaly. This is part two of her inspiring story. You can read part one here.

What progress has Abby made over the last few years?

Abby has progressed in many areas and through the grace of God, has pushed through many limitations. She has developed from dragging herself to crawling properly at just over a year of age. At two years she started to pull herself up, later using a granny walker followed by crutches.

Emotionally she has developed into a courageous little girl. My husband often tells her that she is the bravest girl. She has had seven operations, and many days of illness, mostly from urinary infections prior to a bladder operation when she was two years old.

      What challenges – physical and medical does she face on a daily basis?

Nerve damage has caused Abby to be paralyzed in her feet and ankles, and certain muscles in the legs and buttock have less nerve supply. As a result her right hip is dislocated. She walks with a gait, relying on her crutches. She longs to be able to balance freely and run and dance like her friends. Despite this God has given her such tenacity that she never stops trying. The nerve damage has also affected her bladder which causes incomplete emptying and incontinence. Without intervention, this can lead to kidney damage. Abigail also has a challenge with her bowel, and needs help to prevent constipation and blockage. Abigail has a slight squint and is longsighted in both eyes, so she wears glasses.

Describe an average day in Abby's life

As soon as Abby wakes in the morning I need to be ready to get her toilet needs out the way. This involves catheterisation and a bowel washout. We always try to keep it fun. She has to sit on the toilet for about ten minutes, so she gets to read or hold her rabbit, or budgies. She helps dress herself and needs to put on her ankle foot orthotic (Afo's) splints, which give the support and protection to her feet for walking.

When God Walks In

"Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea or walked in the recesses of the deep?"(Job 38:16 NIV).

Beautiful one, think of all places your feet have taken you. Looking back from where you now stand, it's easy to see how far you've come. Now, ponder a moment the steps ahead. We cannot change our past, but we can take it step-by-step from this day forward. We can begin making the necessary changes and adjustments in our daily walk. To do so is to journey to a place much better than where many of us have been in our lives

Life. It is a strange four letter word.

Life can mean many things to many people, but we each have one. 

Skim through the pages of time, all of man's history has a common thread; a connection that binds human souls together. I may not have personally known the Apostle Paul, Moses, or Jacob, but I can connect to them through their pain and weakness.

Pain has a funny way of making friends. We will each encounter personal triumph, but it is mans weakness that brings us closer together. Pain and weakness if not dealt with properly, can alter the course of your life; stealing your hope, paralyzing your dreams, and rendering you ineffective.

Sometimes I read articles from the many talented and beautiful women I write with at Take Root and Write. I enjoy reading the fun things like cooking and beauty. Then I come back to my life and as I write, I realize that it is always to the broken, the bruised, and bleeding.

JEHOVAH-ROHI - The LORD is the Shepherd of Your Grieving Heart

 

Let them praise the name of the LORD, for His name alone is exalted; His splendor is above the earth and the heavens. Psalm 148:13 NIV

How many names do you have? If you're like me, your parents gave you a first, middle, and last name. Then when I married, I added another last name. Of course, I have a few nicknames that my family affectionately calls me. The point is that each name you are associated with identifies a particular element of your life. My maiden name indicates what family I was born into and my married name identifies me with my husband's family. The nickname my dad gave me as a child reflects his affection for me. Just as I am known by several names, God is known by many names in the Bible. Because no one name can adequately convey all the facets of God's character, He has given us some specific names to teach us some of the aspects of His nature. So far in this series of articles, we have identified  JEHOVAH (The Great I AM), JEHOVAH-JIREH (The LORD who provides),JEHOVAH-ROPHE (The LORD who heals), JEHOVAH-NISSI (The LORD is my banner of hope), and JEHOVAH-SHALOM (The LORD is my peace). Today, we are going to take a look at another name of God: JEHOVAH-ROHI or The LORD my Shepherd.

Perhaps one of the best known passages in the Bible is the 23rd Psalm.

The LORD is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside quiet waters,
He restores my soul.
He guides me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake.
 (Psalm 23:1-3NIV)

This is the first time in the Bible the name "The LORD my Shepherd" is used. This name indicates an intimate and personal relationship between the Shepherd and his flock. From this glimpse into the character of God we see that our Heavenly Father desires to be close to His children. In fact, the Hebrew word "rohi" not only means shepherd but also means friend or companion. Above all, God wants to be our best friend. An example of the use of this word is found in the story of Moses and God when God spoke to Moses face to face as a man speaks to a friend (rohi). (See Exodus 33:11). Dear broken-hearted one, God wants to take pleasure in you and cherish you. He wants to be your friend and shepherd as you travel the road of grief.

Five Ways to Better Sleep

The causes of sleeplessness are endless, requiring millions of people to take sleeping pills nightly. But, there is a good reason abused and traumatized individuals often struggle with sleep. During a good night's sleep, the brain processes facts and feelings exposed to during the day in the Random Eye Movement (REM) stage of sleep. Horrific events usually bypass the normal nighttime brain processing. Survivors of trauma frequently stay in the lighter stages of sleep, instead of deep sleep required for REM processing. Traumatic experiences are isolated to parts of the brain that hold the memories until the person is in a safe place to process what happened. These memories of trauma often surface during dreams causing fear, torment, and total frustration because the brain has not properly processed the event.

When I first started writing this article about sleeping better, I compiled a list of current sleep remedies from the latest talk-shows and popular women's magazines. Let's see . . . exercise, regular schedule, quieting down activity, reading, relaxing bath, cup of hot milk or chamomile tea, etc. While I could make the list quite spiritual sounding by including some Biblical principles, I had a nagging feeling that it was not what God has said about sleeping.

Sleeping better is not only an area where I have matured in since childhood, it is an area God is still dealing with me as I go through pre-menopause desires to stay up all hours of the night. As I dig into His Word, I am certain He will be showing me, again, how to correct my ways.

Get Rid Of It!

Then Jesus said to the disciples, “Have faith in God. I tell you the truth, you can say to this mountain, ‘May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and it will happen. But you must really believe it will happen and have no doubt in your heart. (Mark 11:22 NLT)

Beautiful One, have you ever put your socks on, and slipped your feet into your shoes only to discover, you have a small pebble like object stuck in there too? Somehow, instead of just bending over and taking off your socks and shoe, which seems tedious at the time,  you think with some fancy footwork and skilled maneuvering you can somehow shift the pebble around to the side so you wont have to feel it anymore... Sounds good, but rarely does it work!

You manage to shift the small annoyance and go about your business. But, somewhere along the way the stone finds its way back to the bottom of your foot; it's not going to go away quietly. At this point you are totally inconvenienced and 'have to' bend over, take off both your shoe and sock, and remove the stone!

You could have done it sooner, but you chose not to.

Life can be like that. Sometimes issues start out like small stones; irritating. However, when left unattended they can easily turn into much bigger problems. In fact, just because we don't deal with them doesn't mean they aren't there. It just means that we ignore and avoid. But that doesn't stop the big white elephant from growing in the room. And, despite the blanket we throw over it, he is not going to go away. And that immovable stone becomes a boulder that eventually breaks everything it comes into contact with.

Abby’s Story – Born with Spina Bifida

Terry and Claire Brauteseth lead a church in South Africa which I was part of for several years. Their third child was born in 2004 with Spina Bifida and hydrocephalus. This is part one of their story of heartache and triumph.

How and when did you discover that Abby had spina bifida?

It was two days before Christmas 2003 and I was 25 weeks into my pregnancy. Joshua (5) and Hannah (4) joined us with great anticipation, wanting to see their new baby. The technician found her way through the gel on my bump and our baby came into view. We saw her face change and fear began to rise in the room. She had discovered our baby had hydrocephalus. As a registered nurse I had a fair understanding what that meant and the tears began. She rushed off to call the specialist obstetrician to confirm the diagnosis. Terry squeezed my hand and did not let go. Josh and Hannah were given an apple each and perched on chairs with puzzled faces.We were told our baby had a narrow passageway in the brain which was causing fluid to build up. If left uncorrected, it would cause continual enlargement of the head, and inevitable damage to brain tissue. A second scan revealed a small opening in our baby's spine which was allowing cerebrospinal fluid and nerve tissue to protrude from the spinal cord.

Was abortion offered as an option?

The doctor rushed off to photocopy some of his medical notes on these abnormalities and gave a brief explanation of what it meant. We were told to go home, chat to our GP and consider termination. We had a week to decide as I was so far in my pregnancy. "Consider your two healthy children." he said.

Beneath the Surface

Beautiful One, do you realize that no matter what's going on around you, it's what is going on within you that matters? Our external circumstances and the external picture that we portray to the world is not who we are. Who we are is who we are when we're alone; when no one is watching, applauding, or  disapproving.

Who we are is what is hidden deep within us, beneath the surface.

People, no matter their shape, color, sex, geographic location and, yes, even their religion, are what matters to God. We are His very heartbeat. We are what matters. We are what he uses. We are important and valuable.  We are hugely mistaken if we fail to recognize that people are what matters to God.

 The truth remains; Christ left His heavenly throne to die on a cross to redeem people. People matter to God. People is what He formed the earth for. God made the earth to be inhabited with His creation.

We work, we play, we go, go, go, yet, our relationships suffer. People that we work with receive the best of us while the people that we love, get leftovers. We go to church on Sunday, yet by Monday, we have already forgotten the great message about doing unto to others.

Do we understand that we all are in this life together? After this we are going to die. Yes, we will be with the Lord, but there is a reason that He destined and created us to be here on this earth.

JEHOVAH-SHALOM - Peace for the Grieving Heart

 

I recently had a conversation with a dear lady who had lost her brother in a car wreck a year ago. As we talked, she made the comment that she sometimes feels guilty when having a good time, laughing, and enjoying life. She wondered what kind of person could be happy and grieving at the same time. My answer was that it is a person who has the peace of God in their heart. It is only by the grace of God that the grieving heart can find peace in the storm. I encouraged her to actively pursue that peace and rejoice in the fact that she is healing.

JEHOVAH-SHALOM is a name of God that is first found in the Old Testament book of Judges. We have learned in previous articles that JEHOVAH means the God who was, who is and who is to come. JEHOVAH is a God who reveals Himself unceasingly. He is the Great "I AM". The term "shalom" is the Hebrew word for peace or the absence of strife. It refers to the kind of peace deep in the heart of someone who is in a right relationship with God. Therefore JEHOVAH-SHALOM means "The LORD Our Peace".

In the book of Judges we find an Israelite named Gideon. Because his people had been at war for seven years, Gideon was a man who greatly desired peace. Like many other Jews at that time, Gideon had to hide in caves in the mountains. If he planted crops, his enemy, the Midianites, would rush in and destroy them. But Gideon was a wise and brave man. He knew his only hope for peace would come from God. When he cried out to the Lord for help, God responded by reminding him of the mighty way He delivered the Israelites from the oppression of the Egyptians years earlier. God then instructed him to go and fight his enemy. Gideon answered as many of us do to God's instruction by saying, "But God, I'm not strong enough to do that." The Lord patiently replied:

"Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of  Midian's hand. Am I not sending you? ...I will be with you and you will strike down all the Midianites together. ...Peace! Do not be afraid. You are not going to die" (Judges 6:14-23 NIV).

Take A Hike

And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God. (Colossians 1:10 NIV)

Sir Edmund Hillary was the first man to climb Mount Everest. On May 29, 1953 he scaled the highest mountain then known to man-29,000 feet straight up. He was knighted for his efforts. 

He even made American Express card commercials because of it! However, until we read his book, High Adventure, we don't understand that Hillary had to grow into this success. You see, in 1952 he attempted to climb Mount Everest, but failed. A few weeks later a group in England asked him to address its members.

Hillary walked on stage to a thunderous applause. The audience was recognizing an attempt at greatness, but Edmund Hillary saw himself as a failure. He moved away from the microphone and walked to the edge of the platform.

He made a fist and pointed at a picture of the mountain. He said in a loud voice, "Mount Everest, you beat me the first time, but I'll beat you the next time because you've grown all you are going to grow... but I'm still growing!"

Family Dynamics and a Disabled Child

 

All parents dream of raising the perfect child. When their baby is born, they count the fingers and toes and wait anxiously to see if there are any serious problems. When the doctor pronounces the child normal, they relax and begin to enjoy parenthood. On the other end of the scale, many parents are presented with a child that has obvious disabilities and medical issues. Understanding how this diagnosis affects a family can enable friends and extended family to support them in the best way possible.

Many Children are Born Disabled

I did some research and came up with the following figures for some of the more common causes of disability at birth. In the United States, approximately 5000 babies a year are born with Down Syndrome. Another 10,000 are born with cerebral palsy and 1500 with Spina Bifida. That's 16,500 families that are affected and of course there are thousands more born with other disabling conditions.

Accidents and Disease also Cause Disability

Some children are born normal and later become disabled due to accidents or disease. Head traumas are a common cause of disability and are often caused by falling off a horse or bicycle or as the result of a motor vehicle accident. Near drownings can also cause brain damage resulting in physical and mental problems. In some ways, it is harder to have a normal child who becomes disabled later in life.

JEHOVAH-NISSI: A Banner of Hope

 

My family enjoys watching the Olympics. Some of our favorite events are gymnastics and figure skating. However, I am the only one in the family who watches the opening ceremonies with all of the competing countries marching into the arena while waving their flag high. Their flag is symbolic of the pride they have in their country and the hope for victory in the games. It is a call to rally behind the athletes and cheer them on to success.

A flag or a banner is also a rallying point for hope during encounters on the battlefield. We are all familiar with the picture of the soldiers planting the flag on the hill at Iwo Jima symbolizing strength and victory. Neil Armstrong planted a flag on the moon in a moment of triumph against all odds of successfully walking on the moon. A flag or a banner has a way of stirring the heart and lifting us up when all seems impossible. Remember the numerous cars flying American flags in the weeks following 9/11?

The Old Testament story of Moses and the Israelites in battle with the Amalekites is the first time the Scriptures describe God as JEHOVAH-NISSI, or the LORD Our Banner. In this story, Joshua led the Israelites in a battle against their enemies. Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the mountain overlooking the battlefield. When Moses lifted his hands with the rod (which symbolized the power of God) into the air, the Israelites would have the advantage in the battle. However, when Moses tired and lowered his hands, the Israelites could not see the rod. This is when the Amalekites would prevail. The battle was finally won when Aaron and Hur helped to support Moses' arms in the air until the sun went down and Israel was victorious. Moses then built and altar to God to remember the victory. He named the altar JEHOVAH-NISSI or the LORD Our Banner. (See Exodus 17:15)

Our all-knowing Father, sent His only Son Jesus to be a banner over those who love, trust, and obey him. It is a banner with the word love written on it (see Song of Solomon 2:4)

    In that day the Root of Jesse will stand as a banner for the peoples; the nations will rally to him,     and his place of rest will be glorious. (Isaiah 11:10 NIV)

In this Scripture reference the Root of Jesse is Jesus. Right here, right now, Jesus is offering a place of glorious rest to the broken-hearted, the wounded-of-spirit, and the grieving. The only thing Jesus asks is that we love and trust Him with true repentance. Of course, in order for a flag to fly, it must be unpacked and unfurled. Don't keep yours in a box. Unfurl it and let the Banner of Jesus fly over your life and take comfort in the knowledge that you are resting in the love of your Creator. 

    Then you planted a flag to rally your people, an unfurled flag to look to for courage. (Psalm         60:4 The Message)

Perhaps you feel like you are in a battle today. The journey of grief is not easy. More specifically, it can be described as a war. It's a battle to get out of bed and face a new day. It's a battle to carry out your responsibilities at home, at work and even at church. It's a battle to keep from crying every minute of every day. Yes, grief is truly warfare. Just like the soldiers on a battlefield, we are fighting under the banner of the LORD. Can you see it? God's banner over you says hope, love, victory, strength and courage. Lift that banner up high and let it be a symbol of the hope and encouragement that your life will return to normal. Of course it won't be the same normal that you had before your lost your loved one, but it will be a new normal. You will be happy again. You will enjoy life again. God wouldn't have it any other way.

Journaling Ideas

1. Describe the battle you are fighting today. 

2. Remember a time in your life when you fought a different battle. Was God faithful to you then? How?

3. What evidence to you see of God in your life?

4. How have you been a blessing to someone else in the last week.

5. What are you most thankful for?

Your Grieving Toolbox

Living in Ohio, it is almost impossible to drive down any street without seeing an Ohio State Buckeyes flag flying on someone's house or car. In my opinion, if we can fly a flag of our favorite sports team, we can fly a flag of Jesus. My challenge to you today is to create a flag of Jesus to remind you that JEHOVAH-NISSI is ready to provide you with glorious rest. A flag can be made of felt or fabric or it can simply be a piece of paper on which you have drawn a banner representing how God is caring for you. It can be complex with lots of color and pictures, or it can be simple with one word on it such as love or courage. It will be personal for you. Enjoy your time with God as you create your banner.

Precious child of JEHOVAH-NISSI, I pray that you will look up and see the Banner of Hope that is Jesus flying over you. May you fix your eyes on Jesus who is the author and perfecter of your faith. (Based on Hebrews 12:1-2)