Take Root and Write

More Than a Conqueror

 

 
  

The LORD said to Joshua, “Stand up! What are you doing down on your face? (Joshua 7:10 NIV)

Beautiful One, have you experienced so many losses that it feels impossible to think of winning?  Unless a person has experienced this particular kind of season, it is hard to relate to or understand the feelings that accompany it. One is overwhelmed, depressed, frustrated, angry, and hopeless all at the same time.

While we may know that it is not as much the fight, as it is the feeling that it may not end in our favor, when the setback happens, we feel defeated. We gain some ground, then something happens, and not only do we lose what we've gained, but we're pushed back from victory even farther.

May I suggest that the battle is not designed to destroy you, as much as it is to wear you out.

A tired soldier is not nearly as effective in battle compared to one who just stepped in for the first time. At the beginning of a fight, there is fervor and zeal; a tenacity that is unmatched. When the battle begins, there is an optimism that accompanies the soldiers mentality; that this enemy is going down!

When God Goes Out Of His Way...

 

And it was necessary for Him to go through Samaria (John 4:4, Amp).

Beautiful One, have you ever had someone go out of there way for you? Has anyone ever put any thought or care into making you feel special? Isn't it a wonderful feeling when someone makes arrangements, plans a surprise, or does something for you to let you know they really care about you?

Likewise, you may also know what it feels like to be left out, ignored, and overlooked.

Do you remember the game kickball as a child? There are two teams and captains. Usually, it's the most popular kids who are the captains, and they get to decide who is worthy enough to stand with them to beat their opponent. And, as children often do, their team's picks aren't based on ability as much as feelings. People tend to pick best friends first, and then the pecking order continues. How well you are liked is how well, and what order, others receive you.

Although, children grow up, all too often this mentality doesn't. This feeling-driven mindset is alive and well in most adults' lives. Thus, we learn that life isn't fair. Life can become problematic. Because wherever there are people there are problems. That's just the way it is.

The woman at Jacob's well was an undesirable "player" in life. She was an unpopular Samaritan, strike one. She was a woman, strike two. She had had five husbands, and was now living with her boyfriend ... definitely strike three. These aren't issues Godly women want, and back then, these really weren't issues any woman would want too! I think it's safe to say, this woman was no stranger to problems. She probably felt like the last kid to be picked for the team, only it was worse for her, because no one would pick her.

But God went out of his way to meet her, God knew it was necessary. He knew what others didn't, that a sin-filled, problem-prone woman would be there, and God went straight there to meet her. The Scriptures don't tell us she had been praying, or calling on the name of the Lord for help. God simply interrupted her usual dealings, on an ordinary day, at a well of grace. God went out of His way to make sure she was on his team.  

Beautiful One, no matter what mess you have gotten yourself into, no matter who overlooks you,  you must know, God sees you. In fact, across town and just on the other side, God may find it necessary to stop by your place along his way.

The best part is, the places you've bled, fought, and stumbled your way through, are the very places that now qualify you to be a player on his team. When God goes out of his way, He won't let anything stand in yours.

 

He will always get to you.

Beautiful One, just believe!

 

God Isn't Done Yet!

 

"Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Philippians 1:6 NIV).

Beautiful One, have you ever worn a mask? Have you ever been smiling on the outside while you felt like dying on the inside? Do you know what it is to hide the real you, for fear that you would be misunderstood, judged, or rejected? If we can be completely transparent, is there a part of you as well, that you hide from God?

Masks: We all have worn one, at one time or another. Some of us have worn several of them. Certain times in our lives we have portrayed ourselves one way, when we were completely another. As children, we learned that certain behaviors, or qualities got us noticed, and accepted, and, we also learned what worked in ways that maybe weren’t so desirable, yet remained effective.

As adults, it is still very easy to produce a mask, and become what we would like to be, or hide what we truly are. And, the truth is, we all are a work-in-progress full of potential and success as well as, flaws, fears, and failures.

Beautiful One, one of the hardest things to do is to be real. Why? Maybe it's because we have this expectation that God has done a great work in our lives, and to show weakness would make him look like He hasn’t done much. Or, maybe we would feel like we are less than a genuine believer if we aren’t riding high on the mountaintops. Who really knows why it is so easy to be fake at times. Fear, insecurity, rejection, or shame: any one of these can be a reason. And more than likely, they are probably the root of what causes us to shrink back, and wear the mask.

While it's so easy to do, it allows us to be comfortable in our embarrassment, shame, or disappointment. We hide so that others won't see that God isn’t done with us yet.

Did you think about that? God isn’t done yet! No more, no less. He has a plan, and in His timing, if we are dealing with something in our lives -- even if we are the ones that have created it -- we can rest knowing God simply isn’t done yet!

Beautiful One, God doesn’t mind how we come into the Kingdom, as long as we get there. And God isnt as mindful of our comfort as He is mindful of matters of the heart. God cares about you because he loves you!

No matter the crisis of the moment, God wants us to stop pretending. For every one person who will misjudge us, He's got two who won't! He can make the bad become good; the ugly, pretty again. He can take our weaknesses and make us strong.

He’s not called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God for nothing!

Beautiful One, just believe, and remember, He’s not done yet!

Rise Up and Build!

 I also told them about the gracious hand of my God upon me and what the king had said to me. They replied, "Let us rise up and start rebuilding." So they began this good work. (Nehemiah 2:18, NIV)

Beautiful One, do you know how to navigate? Better yet, youe know what the term even means?

Navigate means to make ones way over or through. That is a very interesting definition considering that in our Christian life, many of the trials we endure are usually won by going through them to get over them.  

Nehemiah was a man who didn’t allow his circumstances to defeat him. Nehemiah saw that the city walls were broken down, and instead of sitting around and being discouraged about it and agreeing with the problem by talking about how terrible it was, he took action. He used his position with the king as an influence to find favor and rally support to fulfill the burden God placed in his heart. Nehemiah didn’t just want to do something, he actually did something. He didn’t just think about it, he did as he thought.

I wonder how much we could actually get done if we had this same attitude? I wonder how many lives we could touch if we would just lose our appetite for thinking and do something. How many lives could we touch by just touching one life? The Bible says that anyone can steer a ship, but it takes a leader to chart the course.

God blesss what we do, moreso than what we just think about.

How many times have we lost focus on the fact that Gods purpose for us being here is to offer comfort, and make any arena we are placd in, a place of power and influence? How many of us have the ear of a king and we fail to speak in it?

After Nehemiah went to the king and found favor to go about the plans for rebuilding, he was  then joined by others who were inspired to follow him in his work; “... so they said, let us rise up and build.” Then, they set their hand to do this good work. “

I think it is time to follow the direction the Lord has placed in our hearts; it is time to rise up from these ashes of mediocrity and complacency, self doubt and unbelief and build up the Kingdom of God and set our hand to do this good work. It is time to make our way over and through- to navigate through the issues of life.

I heard a wonderful person once say: "Everything you need is in the house." It is the same with us. We are children in God's house. So, let's get busy -- do something -- and let's rise up and build.

Beautiful One, just believe!

 

Answering Our Critics

 

Then Jesus entered a house, and again a crowd gathered, so that he and his disciples were not even able to eat. When his family heard about this, they went to take charge of him, for they said, “He is out of his mind.” ( Mark 3:20-21 NIV)

Beautiful One, have you ever faced opposition? Not just any opposition, but the unexpected kind  from an unlikely source? How many times have people in your personal circle opposed you because they thought your decisions were wrong?

These are viable questions, and ones that we, as followers of Jesus, will have to face at some point in our lives. What do you do when a close friend or family opposes you? Oftentimes, when we answer our critics, we engage in discussions and defenses that easily lead to hostile relationships. These reactions are usually responsible for such things like church splits, job losses, broken relationships and severed family ties.    

I experienced a situation once where someone questioned a choice I had made. Because they were looking at appearances only, and not understanding my heart, they didn't like what I had done. Maybe to them my choice didn’t make any sense. But, just because they felt differently about it did not make my choice any less right.

Beautiful One, opposing views are going to have a voice in your life. Young and old, male or female, we will all encounter opposition - and some of it is going to be from the least expected people such as fellow church-going siblings and (the harshest critics of all) family members.

Jesus was about his Father's business, doing things people had never seen or heard of before. He boggled their minds. Even Jesus' own family members thought He had lost his mind.

But why?

Because Jesus was doing something they wouldn’t have done, and it was foreign to them. They had unknowingly put God in a box, and when Jesus climbed out of it, they didn’t know what to do!

How many times have we looked at another’s situation, and thought we had an edge on the holiness corner? How many times have we been guilty of looking at outward appearances of others, without understanding that full truth, or choosing to think that their heart may still be right?

Jesus' family didn’t understand that God was doing a new thing, and that He was going to use a new method for the same message. Each one of us is unique and created equal. Yet, God deals with all of us differently. God's path for me will look different than His path for you.

But as long as each of us stays closely connected to the One -- the One who paved the road before us -- we will land on our feet. Despite the opposition and despite the critics, we must keep doing what Jesus did when he faced opposition: He stayed the course; He ran his race, and in his lane. Most importantly, He answered his critics not in word, but in deed.

And He finished his race.
 
Beautiful One, Just believe, and walk on!

 

Not Now, but Hereafter

 

Jesus answered and said unto him, "What I do thou knowest not now; but thou shalt know hereafter" (John 13:7 KJV).

Beautiful One, have you ever gone through something that, at the time, made no sense at all? Do you know what it is to struggle and squirm, or feel dumbstruck how certain events are playing out in the symphony of your life?

What I love about Jesus is that, 2000 years ago, when He was about his Father's business, He was also about yours and mine. Jesus not only taught principles for the people of his time, but He took the time to teach a lesson that you and I would apply to our life and time.

Jesus was relevant, yesterday, and today, and will continue to be hereafter!

Most of the time Jesus taught principles, and I love that He used illustrations. He didn’t just talk, He gave people something to see. I do far better in my learning, when I can actually see how it’s done, rather than just being told what to do.

Jesus understood that the more people know, the better they will do. They will be armed with not just sight, but vision.

When Jesus got up from his last supper, and  washed the Disciples feet, He was also sending a powerful message to you and me for hereafter!

“What I do thou knowest not now; but thou shalt know hereafter,” Jesus told his friends. In other words, "You will not understand why I am doing this to you now; it will make no sense. But hereafter, you will completely get it."

Beautiful One, have you ever known God was doing something with you, in and around you, and yet didn’t have any understanding as to why, or how this could be important?

The Disciples were his closest companions; they knew Jesus. But His ways were not their ways. Then afterwards -- when Jesus left them -- everything Jesus had shown them started to make sense. And, when the Disciples had to walk their faith out, they surely realized that all the illustrations Jesus used were weapons they could use in the battle of life.

Beautiful One, the Lord knows we may not understand why we lost a job, or our marriage. Maybe, we have lost loved ones along our way, or our reputations; maybe we lost all even after we tried to do everything right.

No matter what we face, it is okay if we don't understand it. If the Disciples didn’t, and Jesus admitted they wouldn’t, should we be any different? But, once the storm passes, after the court case is closed, or the problem resolved and after the sun starts to shine, we will have our understanding! And not only will we have understanding, but we will be fully armed, stronger and wiser.  

Beautiful One, we may not understand all the things the Lord has taken us through, but hold on! There is a purpose for everything under the sun, and later we will be able to say, "I am still standing, hereafter!"

Beautiful One, just believe.

 

When The Bell Rings

 

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us (Romans 8:37 NIV). 

Beautiful One, are you a fighter? May I suggest that in our Christian walk we need to be. Sometimes, when challenges ride into our lives like a tsunami, we need to grab our armor, and use that fighting spirit God has already deposited into us.

A fighter is defined as: A person who does not easily admit defeat in spite of difficulties or opposition, one who fights as a warrior or soldier.

Sometimes we look at others and think that they are mighty in the Lord, and that we are just meeker, or more of a gentle spirit; that fighting isn't in us.

But the truth is, you and I are fighters. Plain and simple. Life and people will uppercut, and hit us below the belt. And we will come to a defining moment: Will we stay down for the count, or with everything in us, get back up?

Beautiful One, there is nothing that can happen to us, that surprises God. Wouldn't it be awful if we said to God, "I can't believe this happened!" and He replied, "Yeah, me too." It is more than wonderful that God has already deposited a resiliency and strength to conquer and overthrow any obstacle in our path. The battle has already been won!

The Warrior Within

 

"If you have raced with mere men on foot, and they have worn you out, how can you compete with horses? If you stumble and fall on open and safe ground, how will you manage in the thickets of Jordan? Your brothers, your own family members have turned against you, they have raised complaints against you. Do not trust them, though they speak well of you." (Jeremiah 12:5-6 NIV)

Beautiful One, have you ever raced with men who have worn you out? Not just any men, but confidants, spiritual siblings, co-workers, husbands, and wives and even children. Do you know what it is like to share your life -- and open your heart --just to have your kindness trampled underfoot?

Jeremiah understood this, and perhaps you too understand the pain this passage speaks of. This was the Lord's answer to Jeremiahs suffering. Jeremiah cried unto the Lord, "Why has this happened, why have you sent me here with a purpose and a plan, and why have I been rejected and torn to pieces?"

It always amazes me the way the Lord deals with His children. He is tender, yet in our darkest hour, when tears streamline down our face, He speaks a word not justto our pain, but to the warrior within us.

What If

 
"Our worst fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God; your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us. - Nelson Mandela

Beautiful One, have you considered the ‘what ifs’ in life? Not in the way of worrying, but more like what if a certain thing hadn't happened, or a person hadn't chosen to resist to defeat and push on towards victory?

Did Michael Jordan believed his high school coach when he said he was a terrible player and had him cut from the team?

In his early years, teachers told Edison he was "too stupid to learn anything." Work was no better, he was fired from his first two jobs for not being productive enough. As an inventor, Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. What if he hadn't tried just one more time?

Everyday

Beautiful One, there are things in life which happen that make sense, and things that do not make sense. Life is a funny that way. Sometimes, you learn to find your voice, and sometimes life silences it. While we are all in this together -- men, women, and children -- we have also come from different places, near and far. We hold different values and beliefs. Some of us are Christian, and some of us are not.

But, we all need air to survive, and food and water to live. We walk on the same dirt, feel the same sun, and each are given the same amount of time in a day. Life is a series of events of things that happen each and every day that make us who we are. But, it is up to us to make the decisions that will bring about God's best for us amidst th diversity.

Everyday, someone is born, and someone dies. We birth a dream, and another dream fades. Every day, someone laughs while another cries. Someone finds faith, while another one loses theirs. Every single day, one half of the world goes to bed full, while the other half goes to bed hungry.

A New Creation

"So I went down to the potter’s house, and I saw him working at the wheel. But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him" (Jeremiah 18:3 NIV).

Beautiful One, have you ever been through a crisis or even a series of events that have changed your life forever? These events make us wake up and see that we are not the same person we were yesterday. Sometimes, upon this realization, it becomes the most frightening day of our existence. 

What make this so frightening is that we don't know how to define ourselves anymore. Everything we used to be, all that we knew, is different. It's  as if an innocence of optimism and the comfort of familiarity, is gone.

There are certain things that happen in life that blindside us. We start out one way, only to find we have landed somewhere completely opposite than expected.

I have been there, and I find myself having to start from ground zero. This is when I have to rummage through a mountain of a mess just to find myself. Yet now, I'm in an even more difficult position, because the knowledge of  the pain I have experienced clouds my future potential and hope.

Exceptional Living

 

Now Daniel so distinguished himself among the administrators and the satraps by his exceptional qualities that the king planned to set him over the whole kingdom (Daniel 6:3, NIV).

Beautiful One, have you ever been known for something exceptional? Has the word exceptional ever described you? More importantly, do we really understand what the word exceptional means?

To be exceptional means: To be better than average: superior, deviating from the norm. Exceptional also means to be excellent, or something wonderful.

Beautiful one, in a world that screams for us to conform to the norm by day, but whispers disingenuous lies about our faith at night, how can we be exceptional people?

The hard truth is that there is a lot of thought and care that must first be wrestled with in the recesses of our minds. For some of us, it might take a lot of attention because we are so conditioned to focus on others, or the cares of this world, that we miss opportunities hidden deep within us which can help us be exceptional.

Extraordinary Living

 
What is extraordinary?

Beautiful One, have you ever wondered what makes certain people extraordinary? Do these people have a special formula? Or, have they simply gone the extra mile to get ahead? Sometimes it is easy to see others' accomplishments and think that their greatness is an inherent trait. But often, this just isn't the case. We have to remind ourselves that these people have obstacles and challenges too ... but work diligently to overcome them.   

Extraordinary people have extraordinary problems. They are no different than you and me. Look at the people God used in the Bible. Each of these people faced insurmountable trials and troubles.But what made them extraordinary was their response. Each person was exceptional in their efforts and victories. From Gideon, king David, the Apostle Paul and  even Jesus, they all had extraordinary experiences that they not only faced, but dealt with.

The extraordinary thing about each of them, was that they did not allow their circumstances to define who they were. Each one faced tribulations. Each were called and chosen by God for a specific purpose, and each one at one time or another, wanted to give up. But they didn't.

How to be extraordinary

The definition of extraordinary is: beyond what is usual, ordinary or regular; exceptional in character. The extraordinary do not give up, they take the bruises and the bumps. They fall down, yet they also get back up, regardless of feelings or circumstances.

Learning to Give and Take the Right Way

"Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain" (Exodus 20:7 KJV).

Beautiful One, have you ever misused the name of the Lord? Though some of us may never take God's name in vain, or even think of swearing with it, there is more to this commandment than meets the eye. 

According to the Hebraic definition for vain, it means to misuse the name of the Lord. It goes on to explain that if we use it in vain, we too become useless, empty and figuratively worthless.

Wow, who would've imagined that? As followers of God, taking His name in vain is like misusing our talents, or choosing not to help others. Are we even attempting to share what God has given to us, and freely lend out what has been freely given? Or, are we just wasting our days, hoping someone else will do it tomorrow?

Beautiful One, are we takers? 

Taking from Jesus

Jesus encountered takers while here on earth. They took his fish and two loaves. They took his wisdom, forgiveness and healing. They took his life; torturing it before they ended it. They even took his friends and did to them, what they did to him. They took all the benefits he freely gave, and in return, gave back nothing but grief.

It is incomprehensible that the Son of God had to listen to jeers and angry screams up until the final moments before he died. He endured bitterness from the very ones who took the most from him.

Letting Go of Betrayal

 

 ~Anything may be betrayed, anyone may be forgiven, but not those who lack the courage of their own greatness.~ Ayn Rand

Beautiful One, do you have the luxury of ignorance? Or, have you experienced a betrayal that goes down to the very essence of who you are?

Recently, my son and I watched the movie Social Network. It is about the founder of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg. The movie focuses on his integrity --or lack of it -- and whether or not he stole the idea of Facebook from his unassuming Harvard peers, the Winklevoss brothers.

In the movie, it clearly plays out that the Winklevoss brothers approached Mark Zuckerberg about an idea for a social networking site. The brothers needed a skilled person to step in and help coordinate their plans. Mark verbally agreed to come aboard. As the weeks passed, he kept the brothers at bay, pretending to help them develop their network, yet all the while, stealing their idea to build and publish his own site first. 

When the brothers found out, they went to the head of Harvard to complain, hoping for help. Instead he told them: "You're rich, get over it. Invent something new." Meanwhile Mr. Zuckerberg, prospered and became a famous entreprenuer -- much to the chagrin of the Winklevoss brothers.

After the movie, my son and I discussed the events. I felt badly for the Winklevoss twins. To have an inspiring idea, work hard on it, share it with a trusted person and have them steal it from you -- while pretending to be your ally -- was something I felt strongly against. 

We Win!

In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation. (1 Peter 5:10 NLT)

Beautiful One, do you have what it takes to be all you were created to be? It's an honest question and if you answer quickly your answer may be, "Yes." But, if you take some time to think about it, you might run into trouble.

As Christians, many of us may mistakenly believe that as long as God is on our side, we win an easy victory! But, what happens when we know God is on our side, yet feel the sting of defeat? We will face discouraging challenges and sometimes they may cause us to whirl around in a dizzying cycle that seems impossible to break. 

There is a lot of chatter flitting around our Christian circles. Believers are famous for inspiring words encouraging each other to do great things for God. These types of messages are among my personal favorites. But despite all the positive words speaking to my spirit, I know that life's challenges will come in and try to choke the inspiration right out of my soul.

Because God Said So

     "Abram believed the LORD, and he credited it to him as righteousness" (Genesis 15:6 NIV).

Beautiful One, do you know what time it is?

As we turn back the pages of time, we see that each generation had its own set of challenges. The world as we know it is no different; we are in turmoil set in motion by the challenges of our own day.

Peace eludes the Middle East; many countries are drowning in sickness and starvation. Women and children are brutally sold into slavery all over the world. And, whether we realize it or not, genocide still occurs in some nations.    

Right here in our own backyard, recession abounds. Discouragement has replaced feelings of security in many middle-class families while people pound the pavement  looking for employment. Those who are barely hanging on are starting to feel their strength crumble. Even those on governement assistance are struggling under the weight of our weak economy.

Relationships are suffering and families are falling apart. In times such as these, it's easy to forget to do one simple thing: just believe! All of today's the trials are enough to make anyone grow weary and give up. But have we forgotten what is impossible for man, shall be possible for God?

A Rose Garden of Healing

And she lived happily ever after. . .Amen! And she drove off into the sunset. . .Amen! And she sent her final mortgage payment to the loan company. . .Amen! Alleluia!

We all dream of the end of a burden, but how many of us dream of being in the middle of a crisis in life. Our tomb stone will show the date we were born and the date we die, but our life is lived in all the days represented by the dash. We have our own perfect picture of how abundant life should look, but reality doesn't often match our desired outcome. Many years ago, when I first thought about writing a story of the abuse and healing in my life, I oddly pictured the scene of the final chapter being in a park setting. I would be in a "June Cleaver" dress lounging on a checkered blanket. 

Knowing I had arrived at the good side of life, I'd happily watch my little one crawl around as a refreshing breeze touched my face and tossed my dark chocolate hair. Under the ocean-tropic blue skies my husband would swing a Frisbee to our giggling child. I would reach into the wooden-weaved, picnic basket and pull out  some homemade delicacies calling everyone to lunch. As we gathered on the blanket, the theatrical music would start and the scene would fade with everyone knowing life-is-complete, and all-is-well.

Guess what? This has never happen, and it never will. Nevertheless, the most difficult parts of my healing journey are finished. While I know God is ever molding me, I have a sweet peace and deep relief that the horrendous days are over. I am not saying I never hurt anymore, or I have become a living saint that never experiences personal sin. I am saying I pressed-on walking obedient to God, until He gave me assurance that I had fulfilled the path He chose for me.

The Time Line

 

 

 

This is suppose to be a surprise for my dad, so don't tell him. I am creating a genealogical chart of his ancestors with stories and pictures I've found during a research project; I plan to present it to him at Christmas. I am blessed to have a copy of my grandmother's family Bible in which she recorded births, marriages, and deaths. It must have been exciting to record each birth and marriage because they are happy events.

Then I considered how sad it must have been to record the deaths. I wondered if Grandma cried when she wrote the date of her own husband's death. Yet, I realized that all this information was recorded in the same place of importance in the family Bible as the joyous occasions. All these details are intertwined into the story of my dad's heritage. The good times and the bad work together to create his unique  ancestry. Each event was recorded on a time line.

I found hope in the realization that the time line did not stop when a death was recorded on the pages. From my point of view, it was concrete evidence that life goes on and that the sun brings in a new day each morning. It is proof that God never leaves us or abandons us. Take my grandma for example. She loved Grandpa dearly, and I have memories of how she had to recreate her life after he died. I saw the tears come to her eyes when she talked about how much she missed him. But she did begin a new life that was full of purpose and meaning. She enjoyed grandchildren and great-grandchildren. She ministered to others in her church when they needed help and took care of family when they were sick. Her life impacted others as her time line continued.

Building Friendships That Last

Everyone wants friends. Hurting people need friends. Unfortunately, people who have been abused have horrible relationship skills and frequently damage friendships. God can help you learn friendship building principles that will develop solid, mutual, supportive friendships.

God wants us to be the kind of friend we most need in the deepest sorrows we endured in the healing processes recovering from childhood trauma and abuse. When Jesus said, "Love your neighbor as yourself," He understood persevering in friendship was not easy (Matthew 5:39, NKJV). We need to become a person who loves others if we were to ever build friendships that endures a crisis, disappointments, and misunderstandings. 

What is a friend according to God?  "A friend loves at all time...a man who has friends must himself be friendly. . .there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. . .faithful are the wounds of friends" (Proverbs 17:17, 18:24, 27:6).

Did you ever consider God didn't send anyone because He longs to establish your undivided friendship?

You had to experience falling on your own, and figuring out how by His provision to get up relying totally on Him. When He gave you the strength to never quit, to by His grace continue for one more day, you were learning He was your strong tower to run to in times of need.

God desires for us to learn to first press into Him. He wants to be our primary relationship. Jesus said, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind" (Matthew 5:37). Our relationship with God comes first.

Food: Friend or Foe?

Two women wrote and edited articles for a health magazine. One treated food like a friend, the other like a foe, even an idol. Making food an idol -- something that usurps God's authority in a person's life -- gobbles peace. Thankfully, God gives a solution to you and the Christian women you care about.   

Let's meet the two editors.

Bonnie stood pretzel stick thin. She chomped only fruit before noon, and every day after work she headed to an athletic club for intense aerobics plus thirty minutes of crunches. Once back at her apartment she inhaled a quick dinner, straddled her stationary bike, and pedaled for an hour while watching TV.

Unlike Bonnie, Carol looked like Marilyn Monroe; curvy and a little jiggly, but no one would call her fat. She walked for exercise when she had time. Divorced and the mom of two grade school kids, she blabbered about losing ten or fifteen pounds but didn't diet.

Years before, Carol hid a secret of emotional eating. Now under less stress, she occasionally spooned a pint of ice cream at a sitting, but no longer binged on cookies and cake.

Which woman has the healthier relationship with food? Do you choose Bonnie or Carol?

What Does a Christian Look Like? Part ll

Beautiful One, ask anyone what a Christian looks like, and the majority of the responses will be about outward signs and behaviors. But, no matter the response to this question, the fact remains that not one single answer can rightly define what a Christian looks like.

Being a Christian isn't about outward appearances, although outward changes are visible. But if being a Christian is about outward appearances, our Christian status is up to the interpretation of observers. What if someone misinterprets behavior? Or, what if someone who does good has an off day? Should their behavior disprove their Christianity?

Let's take a closer look.

Jesus said that they (the world) will know us as Christians by the love we have, one for another (John 13:34-35 NIV). The world will know, by love, not behavior modification. Do we realize that "right living" does not mean we are Christians? There are many people who do not believe in Jesus as Lord, but live and act more better than some Christians. I guess you could say, the proof is not always in the pudding; its in the love. It's in the heart. Being a Christian is not about our good works, it's about faith. Christianity is not about cleaning up your act, it is about a God who came down and already cleaned it up for you.

Now, don't let this confuse you, but faith without works is dead faith, so I am not saying don't try to live a life of integrity. We reach for the prize, we strive for excellence, it is our aim to grow, and being a Christian will produce a motivation within us to do right. It will also inspire us to work on changing things within ourselves. It's a life long process, and one that needs close connectivity to the outlet of the Father.

So many people, believers and non-believers have the idea that a Christian is one who is so good that they never fail, cheat, lie, steal, or have a bad day. The fact is, our position as a Christian is secure, but we will constantly wrestle with our condition, behaviors, and issues of life! Have you ever noticed when a Christian fails, people are right there during the lynching? They are judging, and even more angry at a Christian who falls, over any other person because they have a skewed imagination of what a Christian is supposed to look like.

Maybe Christ didn't get into the do's and don't s because he knew that being a Christian isn't defined by behaviors. Christianity is defined by love. We can see this with the Ten Commandments. I haven't met a person yet who has followed every one of them, have you?

The truth is, the whole Gospel is summed up with one word not a list: LOVE.

Love GOD. Love your neighbor and love yourself. That is it! Just think if everyone in the world would do this for just a day, how different our world would be. What if it was done for just an hour, do we realize the impact this would have and how many people would be changed, and helped if this were so?

Not everyone needs a prolific dissertation on the Scriptures, but everyone responds to love no matter who they are. God is love, and we are created in His image. The Bible says that love never fails. It may have its moments of pause, but genuine love is a sacrifice that never returns void.

Have you ever heard, "Love the sinner, and hate their sin?" I like to rephrase it, "Love the sinner, and hate our own sin!"

Beautiful One, it is possible to sit on the deck of Christianity, while below us is another who is tangled up in chains. It is possible to act unlovely while serving a lovely God. Aren't we all just a bunch of misfits working out our own salvation with fear and trembling? Even if some are good at not trembling in front of us, they still do it all the same.

Maybe we as Christians could better help the world understand us if we were real about some things. The one thing I continuously hear from non-believers is how phony and fake we are. Unfortunately, sometimes we can agree with them. The world will judge us more harshly because we get out there in front of them and tell them to come to Jesus and their life will be alright, while ours if you looked in the mirror has the same resemblance. 

Our marriages aren't any better and we have wayward, unruly children. Our debt and mismanagement suffocates our strength.  We lose jobs due to addictions, and our families suffer for our shortcomings. We have  the same relational problems just like the guy down the street and our tempers can flare sometimes more than our faith. The sun rises and sets on the just and the unjust, and at the end of the day can't we all just agree the only difference between us and the world is as Captain John Newton said;

"I am a great sinner, and Christ is an even Greater Savior!"

Beautiful One, just believe, and if you can say that, then you've answered the question; what does a Christian look like!

What Does A Christian Look Like?

Beautiful One, what does a Christian look like? I suppose the answer is not as simple as the question itself.

This last week I watched the drama unfold in the life of Mel Gibson. Like many others, I was somewhat dismayed and discouraged at the events surrounding him. The one thing I can safely say about Mr. Gibson's present circumstances, is, as awful as they may be, I despise the cycle he has gotten himself into more than his actions.

Beautiful One, many good people do bad things. The old line,"hurting people, hurt people," may sound like a cliche, but it is very true.

How can a Christian man who had been married for almost three decades, raised seven children, and produced a movie glorifying God (The Passion of the Christ), be sitting before us in the court of public opinion battling the woman who had a part (along with him) in destroying his first marriage?

How did this man get to where he is? Has the body of Christ yet endured another black eye?

If he were really a Christian, would he be in this mess? Is it possible to belong to the Lord while living a life that is a chaotic mess? Would a real Christian do and say hurtful things? The answer is yes.

It is Not Your Fault

"Am I lovable? Am I huggable?" is the heart cry of every child. Yesterday I gave a boy twice my size a hug. He was hanging out with youth before the church service started. He was in the crowded room but not really connected to anyone. I had cried for him the previous day, when I heard he'd being taken to juvenile court. He was going before a judge because he lost control and beat his sister. Why would I cry for a big kid who had just beat up his sister? He has fetal alcohol syndrome. When his mom was pregnant and he was in her womb, she drank and drugged.

This teen did not put one glass of liquor to his lips, but he will always be marked by effects of his mom drinking while pregnant. Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is not a birth defect, but it creates irreversible damage to the baby. The symptoms vary but include: heart defects, joint deformities, sleep problems, learning disabilities, poor impulse control, extreme nervousness, high adrenaline strength, and sudden rage.

Many times these babies are neglected, abused and placed into foster care. While most who foster or adopt are loving adults, often they will struggle tremendously trying to help the child adjust. Many people who are born with illnesses or disease that cause abnormal or even destructive emotional behavior frequently live a painful life of never feeling like they can fit in.

Deep internal desires to control their thoughts or behaviors are sporadic causing guilt, anger and thoughts of suicide. Every child wants to be loved and to love others. When a person realizes that they hurt the people closest to them, the very people in life trying to help them, it is emotionally crushing. No easy solutions are available.

Can Death Bring Healing?

Her face tells it all. Thinking about her abuser causes passionate anger to boil within. Her body tenses when "good people" tell her she needs to forgive. She will often deny the raw feelings in her heart, knowing it is not socially acceptable to wish someone is dead. Denial is one coping method she uses to help her function "normal" but it will also keep her imprisoned in her wounded heart. 

"I wish he was dead. I hate him," echoes through her mind as guilt suppresses her thoughts. While it is not rare for a victim to wish her abuser harm or death, it is not always a first, or even a conscious thought. It can hide deep within. A child who has been abused by a parent or close relative has a difficult time dealing with a fact that someone who should have protected them has caused them so much pain. She feels unsafe, betrayed, and unlovable.

When a victim is safely away from her abuser, she can start dealing with the horrible events in her life. Forgiveness will not fully emerge until the brutal honesty and the consequences of the pain and abuse is allowed to surface. It is common during this process to uncover feelings of hatred toward the abuser. She may feel she can only be safe in the world if her abuser is dead, thereby making certain she will no longer be hurt.

The Poem

"It matters not how strait the gate, how charged with punishment the scroll. I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul" English Poet, W. E. Henley

Beautiful One, recently the movie, Invictus, came out. This movie is about Nelson Mandela, the President of South Africa, who was imprisoned for almost thirty years. Thirty years! He hadn't committed a crime; he was not violent, nor unjust. He simply believed in what he said, and was willing to take a stand. But, that stand cost him dearly. That stand landed him locked up behind bars for the better part of his life. Or, did it?

What could have destroyed this great man, actually made a good man, an even better man, and an even greater leader.

How is this possible? 

Early on, Mandela made the decision that although his body was locked up, there was something he possessed that no one could touch. It had no chains, not one single bar encased his most powerful ally--his mind.

Today, as well as in times past, two kinds of people are imprisoned. Those who deserve to be, and those who don't. Plain and simple.

Beautiful One, there are so many people who are paying heavy, because they carried life too lightly. For whatever reason they forgot life was beautiful, and meant to have meaning. Maybe no one bothered to love, teach, and guide them. They grew up embittered and calloused, and sought payback on the streets. Which among those in chains now,  valued the truth that actions do have consequences then? How many wasted their youth, fooled around, played by the fire and eventually got burned?

Suicide Cries Out of Darkness

God created us with a will to live. Survival naturally flows from our innate instincts. No sweet innocent child wakes up one morning seeking for ways to die. Children burst with energy and curious quest for living life to its fullest. Suicide grows out of darkness that surrounds experience of assault, trauma and abuse. Suicide grows exponentially in our society since it teaches in a godless vacuum with no true hope.

Yes, "Hope" popularized as the new magically word to be the answer to all the problems, but a word is empty, meaningless and dangerous when the focus of the hope is a person, program, or political party. Young people despair when they reach out for the promised hope and it is nothing but hot air.

It didn't take me long as a youth to realize most adults and people in authority were clueless about how to really help someone that was suffering from the internal bleeding of daily child abuse. Wrapping me tightly with band aid solutions did little to rescue me from the hell-hole I lived in.

If you are going to help people who are in crisis being traumatized by the very people who are suppose to protect them, requires someone who is willing to get dirty. Healers get into the nasty mess of mind, heart, and spirit that is already in the process of dying a slow agonizing death. Platitudes wound as deeply as the abuse.

So, what effective measures can be taken to bind up the brokenhearted, to heal the sick and set the captives of Satan free? Apart from the power of God through the indwelling and fresh anointing of the Holy Spirit, all efforts vainly identify the symptom, but give hollow hope with no lasting results. God is clear that it takes someone who has suffered to minister to those who suffer. God can take a healer to deep levels of suffering, even to experience vicarious trauma, to work through the answers to bring someone on the edge of suicide to safety.

If you are sensitive to God moving in the lives of others, hurting people will pass in and out of your life that are suicidal. When we open our hearts to help hurting people because we have been blessed to know God's healing power, we make contact with suffering people.

It is Possible.....

When the angel of the LORD appeared to Gideon, he said, "The LORD is with you, mighty warrior." "But sir," Gideon replied, "if the LORD is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all his wonders that our fathers told us about when they said, 'Did not the LORD bring us up out of Egypt?' But now the LORD has abandoned us and put us into the hand of the Midians." The LORD turned to him and said, "Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midians hand. Am I not sending you?"(Judges 6:12-14 NIV)

Beautiful One, in an unstable world full of uncertainty, how do we keep our head above the waters of life? The answer for Christians is an easy one: Jesus Christ! But, did you know you can be rooted in the Lord, and still feel like you are drowning? Did you know that head knowledge is completely different than heart knowledge? And, it is possible to have wounds within our minds that go deeper than the faith within our hearts.

It is possible, to believe pain more than to believe God!

What makes this statement true is that sometimes we feel God evades us. But, there never seems to be a shortage of pain, adversity, and hardship; they like to surprise us from around every corner of life. After turning enough corners, you realize that in order to get passed them, you must first go through them.

It hardly seems fair, especially if you have encountered many hardships in life. Sometimes, you can look around and think things could be worse; other times you realize things could be a whole lot better!

As you look back over the pages of life, it's easier to identify the defining moments in your life; places where choices were made, offenses occurred, and successes had their moments! But, why is it that we are so easily derailed and stalled by the wounds of life? Is that what we really want? Personally, I don't believe any sane person wants to be tormented and plagued by their pain. But sometimes when the pain is great, it's easier to not take that risk and believe for something better.

It is so much easier to not have any expectation, than to have one, and have it elude you.

It's so much easier to not do anything, than to do something and have it all fall apart, again.

Beautiful One, it's easier, but it's a lie!

When times of turmoil hit our homes and pierce our very hearts, we face a defining moment! We may despise the trial, shed buckets of tears, and act foolish in the process. But it's OK so long as we keep going, never give up hope, and believe for something greater than we could imagine!

When Gideon was in a cave hiding from the Mideanites, God came to him. God told him to get up and out of the cave, and go! He had a job for Gideon. But, Gideon, by his own admission was afraid, alone, and worn out. All he could see was his pain. He loved the Lord and knew all about God's strength and might. But, Gideon also knew the pain of oppression and injustice, because they stood on the corner in his life and daily called his name.

How to Develop a Kid with Character

 
To develop a kid with character, a mom needs to shepherd the child's heart. Television, the Internet, and magazines push happiness and success. But is this God's emphasis?

The Bible says, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life"(Proverbs 4:23, NIV).

Your child's heart is God's concern. When we moms -- including the moms you encourage -- miss the heart and we  sometimes zero in on the "what" of the behavior rather than the "why." The "why" matters most.

The heart refers to the inner person, who your child really is. From the heart flows behavior. When you focus on the heart you affect behavior.

To accomplish this, you, as the mom, need to avoid two extremes while shepherding your child's heart: a crass Rambo authoritarianism or toward being a wimp. Instead, choose to be authoritative.

An authoritative mom:

-- disciplines the child lovingly and consistently.

-- holds the child accountable.

-- expects the best.

Facing Enemies

And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel. (Genesis 3:18 NIV)

Have you ever been attacked by enemies? It is hard to understand unprovoked attacks and even harder to reconcile why they sometimes continue without end. No matter how much good you try to do, the enemies simply won't be satisfied until they see you destroyed. This may seem harsh, but the truth is this happens to many good people. It happens in families, on the jobs and yes, even in our churches. No one is immune to the disease of evil, and I believe that Christians face more enemies than most.

The Bible tells us that "all things work together for good" (Romans 8:28 NIV). But, we often think that in order for something to turn out for our good, it will all be good in the process. My friend, this is where the lines get blurred. God says, "all things work together for the good of those who are the called according to God for his purpose." It doesn't say, all things will be good to work out for good. 

Today, I am reminded of the Chief Priest Caiaphas. This man was largely responsible for the crucifixion of Jesus. If you are acquainted with Christ's betrayal, you know that Scripture clearly tell us  "that no man took Jesus life, He himself laid it down" (John 10:18). But, a process was in place in order for the "cross' to become a reality. The night Jesus was handed over, an evil plot was dispatched against him. He was falsely accused, no one wanted to hear the truth, even if they knew it themselves! Anyone who didn't stay silent and went to defend him, was quickly hushed up and hurried away.

Lilies of the Field

I am completely in love with my irises. To my way of thinking there is nothing that is more beautifully colored or uniquely designed than an iris. Over the years, I've collected several colors of this gorgeous flower making my flower bed pop with variety. Right now, I'm looking a a vase filled with a color explosion of deep purple, yellow, orange, white, and pale blue irises. And the way their petals are designed create such a statement of wonder that they take my breath away. I am in awe of what an excellent artist God is.

I have to think that our Creator is proud of His handiwork also. In the book of Matthew, Jesus talks about the lilies of the field acknowledging their splendor. He pointed out that the flowers don't worry about how they look, how they will grow, or what tomorrow may bring. The lilies of the field know that it is God who takes care of their needs.

I Am So Sorry

As I pray to God for guidance in writing this article, I overwhelmingly hear these words, "I am so sorry. I am so sorry you went through that horror. I am so sorry your innocence was stolen. I am so sorry you are hurting. I am so sorry life is hard for you. I am so sorry it is difficult to heal. I am so sorry..."  I write from the heart. My heart is guided by the Holy Spirit who lives in me. When I properly yield my will to His, I aim to write from the heart of God.

Abuse is sin. Sin brings death. "For the wages of sin is death..." (Romans 6:23, NIV). Death occurs on a physical, spiritual and soul level. Healing from abuse is so complicated because the wounds inflicted are wide, deep and generational. No person can be lightly touched by abuse. No matter if you were abused once or every day of your life - the abuse crumbles the foundational beliefs of being human. 

God creates humans in His image. In God's image sin does not exist. We have an innate sense that we are special. No one has to teach a child that he is different from a dog, butterfly, horse or monkey. It is only hardened adults that struggle with this concept. Every child longs to be loved, and this is essential because God is love.

No matter how young a child is abused, the child instinctively knows it is wrong. The mind often takes control to protect the life of the child by suppressing memories or disassociating from abusive experiences. Children are not taught how to do this, but it happens naturally because God created humans with a will to live. A baby born into this world needs to be nurtured. A baby cries for needs to be met.

HE Went Outside....

And so Jesus also suffered outside the city gate to make the people holy through his own blood. Let us, then, go to him outside the camp, bearing the disgrace he bore. (Hebrews 13:13 NIV)

Beautiful One, have you ever noticed that most of Jesus' ministry was done out-of-doors? He traveled to many places teaching and bringing good news, but most of his ministry was done outside of the temple.

The House Of The Lord or Church as we call it today, is a wonderful place. If you have ever been active in a specific church you have probably discovered how special it is to belong and to connect with the Lord and His children. However, for many people the church has brought many sorrows. The place where many seek refuge has, instead, repelled others! Some will never recover from the wounds inflicted within those walls, and, may I say, this should never be.

Not on our watch! 

I currently work at a resort and encounter hundreds of people. Before this job I was in full-time ministry. It's safe to say that I'm a people person, and I encounter many from different backgrounds, religions, and varied social classes along the way.

Get Dressed

It is with great pride that I write that my son is graduating from college in a couple of weeks. Not only am I looking forward to what the future holds for him, but I am looking forward to the extra money in our bank account because there will be no more tuition bills!  Recently, we received a letter from the University telling us all the necessary details such as when to arrive, where to park and where to sit for the graduation ceremony.

The letter also directs my son to a certain building on campus to pick up his academic regalia. I've been stuck on the word "regalia" ever since I read it. I have always referred to the robes as graduation gowns. Regalia is a much grander word and brings to mind a sense of honor, respect, and even celebration. In the past, I have noticed that most graduates wearing their academic regalia walk tall and proud as if the act of putting on the robe changes their whole attitude. This is an interesting concept.

Safety First

In the beginning years of healing, I was desperately seeking God's deliverance. I hoped for an instantaneous miracle, for a one time event to restore my body and soul as though I had never been through eighteen years of horrible abuse and trauma.

On one occasion I went to a church that had a deliverance ministry. As the class started, the free-spirited leader put on some music and wanted everyone to loosen-up twirling around the room to the music. It made me uncomfortable.

Then he directed probing questions to me, and everyone's focus was on "helping" me (the new gal). When they wouldn't let up, I ran away in tears until I got to my car. Scared and emotional wreck when I saw the leader heading toward my car, I rushed to get in my car and leave. 

This is a perfect example of a "ministry" not putting safety first. Child abuse is primarily about being and feeling unsafe. Recovery must begin with helping a survivor to feel safe. Healing progresses if therapy, small groups, and support networks provide emotional, physical and verbal safety. If you don't feel safe, you will not be able to open up areas of your soul that need healing. 

"Safety First" seems to be common sense statement to most people, but adult survivors of abuse struggle to identify safety. Alarmingly, it is not unusual for a person raised by an abusive parent to marry an abusive spouse. How can this happen?

Conflict-The God Kind!

"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the LORD. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine." (Isaiah 55:8 NLT)

Beautiful One, there is something wondrous about life; something beautiful and worth having. However, life is sometimes painful and hard to figure out. It can leave us scratching our heads.

If you're reading this, you have life. Maybe you have lived long enough to realize that this simple four letter word, L-I-F-E, is not so simple. I sat down today and happened to skim through the pages of my son's world history book and realized that mans history has a common thread running throughout the annals of time . . . conflict!

Conflict handled inappropriately has caused dissension and strife in the lives of people throughout the ages. Conflict is not necessarily a bad thing and can even be healthy if handled properly and with respect.

Pray Like This

 Jesus, the most excellent teacher of all, gave us an example of how to pray. We commonly refer to this model as the Lord's Prayer (see Matthew 6:9-13). Because the Word of God is living and holy, this prayer teaches us not only how to pray, but it shows us that healing for the grieving heart comes from God. Let's look at each phrase of this familiar prayer.

"Our Father Who art in heaven"

You have a Father in heaven who loves you. A friend of mine recently commented that she was hurting so badly because of the pain her daughter was experiencing. Sometimes the worse agony we can feel is the pain in the heart of our children. How true this is for our Heavenly Father. He knows the ache of every beat of your heart.  As your Father, He even knows how many hairs there are on your head! (see Luke 12:7) 

Be Real

You hear, O LORD, the desire of the afflicted. You encourage them, and you listen to their cry. (Psalm 10:17 NIV)

Beautiful One, did you know that the Bible is relevant and full of real LIFE? Skim through it's pages and you will find, comedy, drama, suspense, crime, and action. From one chapter to the next, you never know what a character will do or say.

What gives me great hope is that I find the Bible to be real. The issues that people dealt with throughout the pages of history are not so different from what we face today. Take a good look and you will find betrayal, adultery, murder, rape, lies, and addiction, just to name a few.

What I find so interesting is that some of those issues came straight from the Holy people that we revere and respect today. Look at Abraham; he took another woman into his bedroom because his wife was too impatient to wait on God's promise for a child.

Noah, was a man of integrity and uprightness who God told to build a ship and even gave him the blueprints. Yet after this great work, we find him passed out in drunkenness and in a precarious situation with a family member.

Let’s Talk About Aging - Part 1

 

Our lives are gifts given to us by our all wise and loving Heavenly Father. If you have found yourself here on planet earth, then you are not an accident. You are loved and our Lord knows what you have need of; He has known from the beginning of time. He hand picked our parents for us before the foundation of the world.

Our parents are special and deserve our honor. When we make the effort to honor our parents, we are honoring God as well. Many of us go about our daily business with the watchful eyes of our parents along the sidelines of our lives, always standing in the wings. They are there for us ready to offer their help and guidance well into our middle aged years. For most of us, our parents have always been a source of encouragement and strength.

As the years pass, it may be difficult to notice some of the subtle changes that may be quite apparent as we grow and age because they develop rather slowly. As it applies to these changes, some could signal oncoming health problems. It is rather easy to overlook these signs. Maybe we are so used to leaning on our parents, trusting they will always be there, that we forget they too are perishable. If they are presently in fairly good health we may take this for granted.

Who Are You?

As I am writing this, I am meditating on the events of Holy Week. Each day I've been reading in the book of Luke a little about Jesus' last days in human flesh. I am overwhelmed by the thought that He left His glorious home with His Father to walk the sometimes painful life of a human. Because He chose to walk on this earth, He experienced fear and dread just as we do. I've tried to imagine what it was like to endure  a mock trial in which the religious authorities were determined to end His life. Of course, none of this was a surprise to Dearest Jesus. He had planned this event with His Father in the beginning. He knew that a painful death on a cruel cross was before Him.

Because Jesus knew exactly what was about to happen, He prayed to His Father asking that if there were any other way to redeem mankind, to please make it so. But, above all, He prayed that God's will be done. As you know, there was no other way. It was clear that He must endure the sin of the world on the cross. I've been trying to imagine how He, in His humanness, was able to face such an awful future.

Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God, and was returning to God;  (John 13:3 NIV)

This passage gives me a glimpse of what Jesus knew to be true. He knew He had come from God and was going back to God. I envision Jesus dwelling on this truth and rejecting all other negative thoughts with which He may have been tempted. I can hear him taking a deep breath and reminding Himself that He would soon reunite with His Father. Jesus knew who He was. He was God's Son. This had to be a great source of strength for Him.

Sexual Intimacy for Victims of Abuse

Sexual intimacy in marriage is significant problem if the wife is a child abuse survivor. The most important point to know about physical intimacy with someone who has been abused is that most often the person will emotionally disconnect from the act of lovemaking. Sex is very complicated to examine because it has an aspect that we don't truly even comprehend fully. 

God says in his Word, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24 NKJV).

The man is joined to his wife; therefore, the responsibility first falls on the husband to keep the union together. But what is more of a mystery to us is hearing that they will become one flesh, explaining the the union is indissoluble.

In marriages that a wife comes to her wedding night damaged by sexual abuse, love-making will be crippled. Some women shun sex, feeling disgusted  to be seen or touched. Others perform wild sex acts giving her body freely in anyway, because she feels dirty and unworthy. Either way her marriage will not have the beauty of physical marriage intimacy that God designed until the couples seeks godly counsel by an experienced professional sex therapist.

It s very common for a bride who has never been in the physical presence of a man to be shy or even nervous on her wedding night.  But think of the complications when the bride has had her physical innocence stolen through abuse and trauma. Can you even try to imagine the thoughts and feelings rushing though her body?

I Hear Your Voice!

Dear Child,

Do you ever wonder how I could possibly hear your voice? In the midst of all the sound in the world, and with all the loud attention-grabbing trouble that's around, how is it plausible? Do you wonder if it really matters at all if you talk to me? Can I really see you when you cry to sleep and do I know the burdens in your heart?

You turn on the news and hear about a child that has been missing. It seems a new accident or natural disaster is constantly being reported. And you see another story about the countries fighting wars. Apparently most leaders can't stop bickering and the people they govern go ignored. So, it is no wonder that you doubt that I can really hear your voice through the noise, cries and needs in the world.

I am not like another. I am the one and only true God. My abilities are limitless and quite higher than a human. Be assured deep within your soul - I Hear Your Voice! As the sheep knows the voice of the shepherd, I clearly hear your whisper. I know the voice of my child, as a mother interrupts the needs based on the tone of the infants whimper. I read the quiet of your heart beneath your words. Not one utter misses my notice, for you have My constant, doting attention. I eagerly await for you to direct your thoughts to Me.

To you, this is simply an impossibility, but never forget, I am God! I can do all things. Nothing is impossible for Me. And to hear your voice, this is one of the greatest things I do because I adore you and I so want a loving relationship with you. So believe Me, when I tell you that I am waiting, and I want to hear from you all through out your day.

Lindy Abbott 2010

Are You a Hypocrite?

Dear Child,

I don't even like asking you this question: "Are You a Hypocrite?"  It seems so ugly, and hurtful. The truth is I know already if you are, but I want you to examine your own heart. Do you know what else is true? The people closest to you, especially those you live and work with know the answer to this question also.

The Pharisees are a clear picture of a hypocrite. They practiced a lifestyle filled with holy rituals. They thought it was enough to do well. I look on the inside. Is your inner life holy? Are you compelled to do what I impress on your heart or do you follow a list of "do's" and "don't"? Have you ever been taught that I seek a relationship, not rituals and sacrifices? 

The Pharisees were very good at religion, masters of religious studies, but still they did not know Me. There is a difference in knowing about Me, and knowing Me. Think about a person that you know some information about like your neighbor or another parent at a ball field or school. You may know where they live, what kind of car they drive, how many children they have, even if they go to church or not . . .but are you related to them. Do you know them as you know your own parents, husband or child?

When you know Me, you are adopted by Me. I am your Father God, you are my child. We are related. The more time we spend together - the better you get to know Me. We have a permanent relationship: Father and daughter. Having a relationship with Me is the beginning.

If you say one thing or act a certain way when "people" are looking and listening, but are frankly different when no one is observing, you really need to take a very honest look at yourself. This is not a surface issue, dealing how you dress, what you eat, and were you go. No, you are going to have to be still and dive into the creases of your heart. The little folds and corners that you don't want light shined into.

Is your heart truly the same on the inside as it appears on the outside?

Lindy Abbott 2010

You Are Accepted

Dear Child,

Focus on what I am going to say, because it is hard to believe. You are accepted by Me. My love for you is not based on what you accomplish or your reputation. You are approved by Me because you have received what Jesus did for you. He finished the requirement you could never achieved for yourself. Once you are justified to be in My presence and you always will be. Your present, past and future is settled.

Every child born into the world has been born into sin; except for Jesus. While you were born from the seed of Adam, Jesus was begotten of the Holy Spirit. No one can be considered good, meaning sinless, not one. I know all about you. I am completely aware of every second of every day of your life. I am attentive to details and familiar with your ways.

I want you to know, I was there. It hurt Me so much because I wanted to step in, to get you to stop, and to wake you up to the truth. I am restrained by your freewill. I created you with an ability to choose for yourself. I wanted you to be able to make a heart decision for Me, for you to want to love Me with all your heart, mind, and spirit.

In knowing everything about you, even the things you can't even bring yourself to completely face, I love you through and through! When I think of you, I don't think of your past or your sin. . .I choose to see you through Jesus in all of His righteousness, Holy without a blemish, absolutely free from sin.

Now listen really close to these next words: How others think about you is irrelevant in My Kingdom. People are so often blind to their own sin. They want to forget they are in the same condition are everyone else, totally and utterly depraved; apart from Jesus no one has any hope of being qualified for heaven. So when someone looks down on you, reminds you of your past, rejects you, or brands you with your sin, look to Me.

I know it hurts, but you have to remember their opinion doesn't count. They may consider you disqualified, unwanted or an embarrassment to the church. I am so sorry they make you feel this way. Just remember, My prodigal girl, you are welcome in My home! And take these words to the core of your soul. . .you are accepted by Me!

My opinion of you is filled with My all-sufficient grace! I am your Father God - the Lawgiver and the Judge. I had the first Word and I will have the last Word! When your name is written in My Book of Life, you are accepted eternally.

Embrace this all the days of your life: "You are accepted! Welcome Home!"

Lindy Abbott 2010

What Stones are in Your Pocket?

There are a few Bible stories that most everyone knows even if they did not grow up attending church. One such story is David and Goliath. Even though many consider it a tale for children, it is rich in lessons for even the most mature Christian. In fact, it is referenced in a very excellent song by Casting Crowns called "The Voice of Truth."

"Oh, what I would do to have the kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant with just a sling and a stone, Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors shaking in their armor, wishing they'd have had the strength to stand.
But the giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times I tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me time and time again,
'Boy, you'll never win, you'll never win, you'll never win'."

Ministry is Messy

Have you seen her? She doesn't wear the latest fashions. Her clothes hang limply masking her shape. She is not a ruffly kind of girl. Her hair isn't stylish. Frequently it looks like she forgot to wash it so she either pulls it back or rolls it on top of her head as a last minute thought. She has little if any makeup, no showy  colors or crisp eyeliner to draw attention to her eyes. Doesn't she know how to look her best?

Have you heard her? Sometimes she talks too much other times not at all. Her words are raw, truth sent forth with the tip of a sword. She doesn't know how to watch her words. She ignores common etiquette on what is socially acceptable to talk about in public. Her words are heavy, careless and can sting as is if she dipped her words in poison before letting them go. Doesn't she know people don't talk that way?

Have you felt her?  Her presence is insignificant, if it weren't for the lurking aura of inadequacy. You try to pretend you don't notice her as she holds back from the crowd. She looks around, uncomfortably, obviously wanting to fit in. Out of nowhere she springs into the center of a conversation. She over-reacts, is hyper-sensitive and pushes for affirmation. It is so awkward how her interactions sway between being non-existent to obnoxious. Doesn't she know people don't relate to her comments?

Organized Care

It's always nice to be given a new beginning! We have all made mistakes and the prospects of a new year provides an initiative for us to begin anew. As caregivers, we manage our own affairs in addition to that of our loved ones. If we are not organized by nature, things can quickly become lost and in a state of disarray. In order to better equip ourselves to manage adequate care for our loved ones and still look to our own needs, it makes perfect sense to establish a do-able game plan and acquire the means to help us maintain some organization.  

Let us begin by evaluating some key areas when it comes to care-giving. We need to take a close look at our own lives as well as those of our loved ones that we are providing care for. We will start by examining our own lives first. We'll do this by making a list. Title the first column as shown below in the sample, then proceed to list your daily/weekly responsibilities, etc.

My Commitments and Responsibilities Within My Home

1. Meal preparation and planning - Daily
2. Laundry and clothes - Weekly

Continue to list obligations and chores in this fashion.

You will be surprised how much more smoothly your day will unfold when you take the time to write everything down. It's far too easy to forget things when it pertains to ourselves and our own lives in general. We tend to get so caught up in the lives of those we are caring for that we forget we can't do an adequate job of caring if our own lives are out of order.

Whatever Is!

Beautiful One, many of us have heard the words made famous by Doris Day, "Whatever will be, will be." Maybe you've spoken them yourself as if to tell yourself to accept things that are out of our control. However, may I suggest that we don't settle in life for such a fate and, instead, focus on what truly determines our outcome? . .  that whatever God says IS, will be.

How many times have we encountered hardship and, because we did not deal with it effectively, found ourselves silently succumbing to the lie that we have not control and things won't change? That is very easy to do and, when the battle is long and hard, it takes a toll. One day we find that our faith has been seared, our trust is gone, and we cannot imagine things being any different then our circumstances dictate.

Beautiful One, may I encourage you with this: Hard times, long battles and, yes, even doubt and fear have a purpose. When we are spiritually and emotionally empty and have nothing left inside, that is when God does some of his best work. Sometimes in order for us to truly live, we have to die to everything we have known or experienced up to that point.

Sowing in Tears

I've always loved getting my hands dirty. I mean literally getting them dirty with garden dirt. Apparently its hereditary because my mom, my sister and my brother have the same love. Every year I anxiously await the time when my Ohio garden thaws out from the winter freeze so that I can begin to till the soil and prepare it for the seeds that I will plant. I know I should wear gloves to protect my hands, but that takes some of the fun out of it for me. I just like the feel of the dirt between my fingers. If you're in my neighborhood in the springtime, you'll very likely see me on my hands and knees planting sunflower seeds, zinnia seeds, and marigold seeds. I love covering them up and watering them. Then I wait for the blooms. What a reward!

The Israelites used to sing a song about sowing a different kind of seed as they journeyed to the temple to celebrate various festivals in remembrance of grace of God. Psalm 126 was one such song.

The Lord has done great things for us and we are filled with joy,
Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.
He who goes out weeping carrying seed to sow,
will return with songs of joy,
carrying sheaves with him. (Psalm 126:3,5-6 NIV)

Disappearing Days

My therapist tells me that 'disappearing days' can occur when part of my soul is shutting me down. An alternative part, an alter within my soul, is afraid of being hurt, doesn't want to feel, is frightened of being forced to remember or experiences situations too horrible for words to describe takes over, and therefore, it shuts me down. So, a person can experience times of appearing to go away.

She wants to check out of life, since she is unable to handle the strong feeling. Amazingly, an alter, a part of one's soul that evolved through trauma, is able to take over the adult self, dragging her awareness to a lower level of consciousness. It is when this happens that a person can no longer will herself to do as she chooses. She is no longer the one willing. She is experiencing a disappearing day.

If you have ever suffered from depression, even mild postpartum depression, you know what it is like to not feel yourself. You know your emotionally unstable, but you can't seem to will yourself to do anything about it. Our free will is not as powerful as we imagine.While we use our free will daily, often many of our actions are habit.