Take Root and Write

Come Unto Me

Sometimes it feels like I’m carrying the world on my shoulders. And no matter how hard I try, I just can’t seem to unload the heaviness of my heart. Sometimes all I know to do is just rest in his arms.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)

 

 

Jesus is my strength. When I don't know what to say - I just don't say a thing. That's what is so wonderful about my relationship with Him. He will always take me just as I am. He will always be here for me - Always.

 

 

God Has You Right Where He Wants

The other day I was dusting my bookshelf, and once finished, placed each book back in its proper place. My eyes fell upon a book that I had read a couple of years ago, and I could not help but race back in my mind to that particular place and time when things in my marriage were falling apart.

I recalled asking God then, "How long is this trial going to take? What are you waiting for?" But, as I thumbed through the pages of the book, I quickly realized that my situation had never been a surprise to God, the way it had been for me. After a few minutes of walking down memory lane, I focused on the present.  God had waited to give me answer back then, because He had me just where He wanted me to be.

Trust Me

This last weekend, I had been in fellowship with a sister in Christ. Of course, this weekend was no different from the previous ones. We had awesome time of fellowship, eating and relaxing. But, after some time lapsed, my friend's laughter and joy turned to sadness. I asked her for the reason, and she reminded me that she would have to return home -- home being, some 200 miles away-- and that she would find it difficult to continue through her difficulties without my support.

 
While we parted, happy to have been together, but saddened by the distance between us, I couldn't help but think of her countenance as I went about my days that week. I asked God, "What are you doing with our lives, and how do I fit in to Yours?" I was burdened by her despair, and wondered why my heart was just as heavy as hers was over our separation and her travels through her "desert?" Later, as I studied Isaiah 34, I found God's message ... and His answer to my questions were, Trust Me.

The Joy of the Lord is My Strength

 
“The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him” Psalm 28:7 (NIV).

Everybody has their bad days. Even couples who both live for Christ have challenging days. But those who are standing alone in Christ in their marriage seem to have more to battle against. Seem to have more. It just seems more lonely and I feel isolated. It seems like everyone has a better life than mine. Then I turn my eyes to my God. He becomes my strength through the storm. I find myself believing that my life would be so much better if I had a Christian husband. And you know what? Maybe it would be. Maybe it wouldn't be. I don't know. What I do know is this - here I am and here I will stand with Jesus. I can't worry about the "what ifs". I need to trust in the Lord.

 “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight” Proverbs 3:5-6.

Lord, Help! - Part 2

 

 A few weeks ago, I wrote an article titled Lord Help! In the article, I discussed how God was spiritually making me over from the inside out. This last week, I waited on God to give me insight to my next article.

Well, God had other plans. While I thought I was going to write about one thing, something else entirely -- one focused on a fault of mine-- came to the forefront of our conversation. I wanted to speak, to tell God what I wanted the article to be about, but instead, he stopped me from speaking and told me it was my mouth that was the problem! I was busy talking, and not listening! My actions could be compared to Martha in Luke 10:38-42, who was doing all the acting and none of the listening to what was really going on; to what God wanted to tell me.

As I mentioned in the previous article, it is a difficult process to change when "we" as spouses think we have no flaws or faultless in our marriage (Romans 12:3). Yet, God looked on the inside of my spiritual system and concluded that some things needed to be purged or removed.

Is there extra "junk" in your life too?

Things that I have been doing for years, careless and maybe even lazy things, have made me ugly on the inside, and has spilt forth onto my outside. I needed a good purging from God, one that dealt with all my ego-driven ideals, ultimately to give it all up for the one who has my best interest in mind! Why do I feel the need to keep the junk in my life, when there is a perfect, healthy and free way to live, ready-to-go from God?

David penned it well in the Psalms when he said "Purge me with hyssop." God in his faithfulness toward me, would not allow me to stay this way. It had become quite clear through revelation from God, that He was purging me for some time, and would continue to do so until he felt I was clean.

I learned that God, with his best for me, has to put me through the fire, so to speak. He has to clean what is dirty, in order to make it clean! Do not stand in the way or block what God is doing on the inside of you, nor get caught up in focusing on what your spouse is or is not doing. Be the vessel of change and surrender yourself to God in order to bring about the oneness you so desire in your life, and marriage. This will also allow you to get rid of all the junk in your life; to eliminate the ugly and unnecessary.

Once I was allowed to speak -- words from God -- I birthed healing, joy and deliverance. Everything that caused me to be spiritually sick and separated from God uprooted itself from my body. But, I had to open my mouth with the intent to do, speak and act what God wanted for me for this to happen.

God is still releasing me from all the junk on the inside of my spiritual body. It is a continual process. But, as I daily study his word and commune with him in prayer, I am bringing forth more healing, joy and deliverance. And it is such a better way to live!

 

Where I Fit In

 

There's something about having a sense of belonging and a sense of security. We all have a need of wanting to belong. We all have a need to feel secure in who we are whether we are at home, work or at church. What we need to remember is that it is in Christ where we find security as well as the sense of belonging. We belong to God and only He can fullfil those voids.  Our security is based on our relationship with Christ Jesus. 

“Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me” John 15:4 (NIV)

 

 

Do not Look Back

 

Early one Sunday morning, my son and I were riding in the car. He was a bit chatterish, despite it being the "still" of the morning. In fact, he went on so much, that I wondered what he had eaten for breakfast! However, before I had the chance to ask him, he casually said, "I remember the old house."

That phrase made me pause. The old house. Our old house. What was a good memory for him was a mess for me. Painful images flashed through the halls of my mind. That was a tough time in the old house. Yet, through those sad thoughts, I could also hear the Holy Spirit gently whisper, "Do not Look Back."

Being a military wife has its' privileges and challenges. Traveling to a new place every five to six years is not always pleasant and fun. The fear of the unknown is often time grueling. However, when it is time to move, we obey.When God called me (my family) from where I was geographically, he was also calling me from where I was spiritually, much like Abraham and Sarah. There was no time to look back.

For the most part, God did not want me to look back. He was erasing the painful memories and healing the wounds and scars that were still residing from my once-broken marriage. He was bringing me into a place of milk and honey; the place I was supposed to be. And, God wants to do the same for you.

Much like Lot's wife, it would be very easy to look back at what you thought was good; when God has commanded you to look ahead. God has better things in store for you.  As it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him" (1 Corinthians 2:9 NIV.)

The process of not looking back is difficult. Sometimes, the problems of my marriage may appear to be a mountain, compared to what I previously experienced. In fact, my marriage had become so troublesome, I figured it would've have been better to "remain in Egypt"; the same idea that the Israelites had when they complained about their time in the desert.

Though delivered from my place of bondage, I had to learn how to walk in freedom. There are times in the present, when the enemy will come and give a twisted version of what God has commanded me not to do. Deny this! Marriage takes work to make it work. What one puts in is what one will get out.

I understand that the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. But, our God is able to keep you from failing. What is it that is keeping you to look back? Remember Lot's wife. She looked backed and turned into a pillar of salt. Looking back doesn't have its place in our lives when God has called us to move forward.

Today, move forward! Forget about the past and believe that God is leading you to victory; that he has the best in mind for you. Expect him to bring you to the Promised Land, one overflowing with milk and honey

 

 

 

 

 

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Lord, Help!

 Consider for a moment, the last time you went out on a date. In preparation, you pulled out your best
outfit from the closet. You took out your shoes to match and accessories alike. Then you splashed on a dab of "smell good" and finally, you went on your way. You were dressed to impress; all things were in order, with little or no worries on the horizon.

However, while on your way to your destination, you encountered a problem. Your vehicle stopped working. It was puzzling because you could not understand why. You were all dressed up, and ready to go, but you could not reach your intended destination because of a broken down car! With all the preparation, it was disheartening. I was faced with the same dilemma. After getting dressed up the Lord stopped me and said that my "car" was dead, and I needed a lot of help to get where I needed to go.

Take My Yoke Upon You

Recently, I dealt with some difficult issues at my place of employment. The problems became overwhelming and frustrating, and I came to a point of having no clear vision, no way out, and no idea what to do to resolve any of it. So, seeking the face of God was my only refuge.

As I drove to lunch one day and the Holy Spirit immediately inscribed upon my heart, "Take my yoke upon you and learn of me."

It was no coincidence that God had given me a strategy to overcome my problems at work. But as the Holy Spirit nudged me even more, I realized that this "strategy" must also work its way into my marriage if I truly wanted to be victorious in all areas of my life.

My personal marriage issues ranged from agreeing on how to rear our children, to trusting my husband. Every day of my marriage, you can bet that something in between had my blood boiling. My husband and I could not come in unity, even if our life depended on it! Unfortunately, our lives did depend on it.

Delayed, but not Denied

 
A few days ago, my husband was traveling for work. While returning back home, he phoned to say he was in a connecting city and would be home soon. Then, a couple of hours later, he phoned again to say that he was still stuck. Immediately, I exclaimed, "You always have delays when you travel."

As those last words exited my lips, I considered how far my marriage had come, and how inappropriately selfish my words were to him. Though we've gone through our ups and downs, and our marriage seemed like it was in a continual delay, the problems didn't last forever. God didn't deny the blessings that were ordained over our marriage from the moment we said "I do." Yet, it didn't make delays any easier to handle.

It is Going to Rain

 Have you ever been in a dry season? A season in which things around you were barren and desert-like? About a week ago, the surrounding cities of Oklahoma experienced a long drought. Rain became scarce, lawns that were once green, were now brown; things seriously changed. A season known for growth and newness, instead, did just the opposite.

During this time, I dug into the scriptures and read about a drought in the story of Elijah in the 17th chapter of the book of 1 Kings, my eyes were opened to its' relevance to me. It is going to rain!

My marriage, like the drought of rain that many of the Oklahomans experienced, was trying my marriage. In the natural realm, it looked as if death had taken it over! It had become lifeless, and unfruitful. But, as I read how the prophet Elisha spoke, and kept saying that, "It is going to rain," in faith, my dry marriage didn't look so dry anymore.

Honor The Annointing

Have you ever heard the phrase opposites attract? I heard it all too often, but did not think much of it. After being married thirteen years, I felt that statement just could not be true. The ups and downs of my marriage caused me to see otherwise, since I was positive I hadn't been attracted to something so different than me.

Not too long ago, God quickened my Spirit with the story of David and Saul. After my short time perusing through the scripture, I discovered that I needed to honor the annointing that God placed on my husband -- whether I felt like honoring it or not.

My husband and I are like night and day and our differences left me blinded to the truth. Because of my blindness, slothfulness and rebellion took rule over my life. These fleshy spirits became so rooted, that I no longer respected or honored the annointing. And this caused our constant conflict with each other. The enemy had me blinded so much that I could not -- and would not -- see the annointing on my husbands life. The cloud of his wrong doings were so thick, that I became stuck looking at him and his flesh.

This of course is what the enemy wanted. To keep me deceived by looking at his position and not focus on what Jesus wanted me to do, which was to honor him, and our marriage. This honors Christ in return. I wasn't okay with this!

Timing is Everything

 

 "When do you want to go home?" I asked my almost-college grad daughter, Julianna.

"Mom, we just got here," she chided.

"It's freezing, Julianna," her best friend, Marla backed me up.

But, Julianna was determined. It was the first day of spring break and she wanted to enjoy the beach. Hah! It was chilly and windy. But, I had promised to go, so I slid my sweat pants down to my bathing suit. Immediately, goose bumps rose and I felt chilled to the bone. I grabbed a winter blanket and cuddled inside of it, wondering why Christians have to keep their word anyway.

The hours dragged on unmercifully until it was time to leave. Now, keep in mind, the beach is my very favorite place on earth and had I been wearing a parka that day, I would have enjoyed myself. But, timing is everything.

Victory is in Your Mouth!

Studying the Word of God is instrumental in evolving our Christ-like demeanor, especially if we desire to live a victorious life. There are numerous accounts in the Word that identifies how God delivered his children to victory, and stayed with them during persecution. The Bible reveals wisdom, gives guidance and counsel, and bestows instructions for every situtation in our life.

There are many accounts of how God worked through his children to bring victory. And sometimes, I feel like this is exactly what God is teaching and telling me; that he will bring victory, but that it will have to come through my actions and my surrender. This is where everything becomes a little more difficult. It's one thing to read about it, but when it is in my life, my every day, it changes things.

My marriage has not been a fairy tale story. To be honest, it had become a valley of dry bones. When I first entered into the covenant, it seemed vividly" ideal." Yet, over time, it became more of an "ordeal." The unforgiveness, bitterness and constant conflict began to eat away at the core of our marriage.

Then over a period of years, the works of the flesh left me dry and in despair. I realized my attitude was affecting our marriage, even if it wasn't all my fault, or even if I didn't think it was fair.

Dont Give Up!

A few weeks ago, I was studying the book of Psalms. I am always looking for encouragement to keep going on this crazy journey of life, and as I thumbed through the scriptures, my eyes fell on Psalms 40. Of course I read it over a few times. Through each reading, the verses became alive and I began to pray and ask God for more understanding. Then I heard Him explain the meaning: Do not give up!

Waiting on a promise from God can be grueling. Our flesh constantly cries out "When Lord when!" Allowing godly qualities to emanate through us is tedious when we have grown weary waiting for an answer.

Oftentimes, the enemy defeats us because we do not wait on God long enough to answer. If God only moves when we beckon Him, then we are slaves to our way of thinking. God is sovereign. God wants a relationship with us; He wants us to get to know him and not just the works of His hand. Waiting on God may seem impossible at times, and it may also seem as if God is not moving, but He is.

Obeying God for Amazing Results

I have discovered that as someone who yearns to seek after the heart of God, He will ask me to do some strange things ... particularly in the area of my marriage. "God takes the foolish things to confound the wise" (1 Corinthians 1:27, KJV). Striving for oneness has not always been a strong quality of mine. I am baffled by the fact that God would use that quality to perfect me.

It is a lot like going to the gym everyday and lifting weights for thirteen years. While I do not have the desire to do it, it must be done to strengthen and achieve the desired results in my body. It is the same with my marriage.

Does God have you in the gym of marriage right now? What quality (muscle) does he want you to strengthen? Are you wondering if this exercise routine will pay off?

Sometimes, it is difficult to communicate with my husband. But even when this condition appears, and I want to run away and not deal with it, God tells me to do the opposite! Instead of remaining frustrated at our differences, I choose to to walk in love and obey God -- resting assured that he'll fix the rest.

When Pain Overwhelms Me

I have never had the experience of playing paint ball. Yet I can imagine being in the middle of an open field with no weapon to protect myself, not even a sling shot with a bag of smooth stones. I picture that I am surrounded by giants with their guns pointed at me. One by one they shoot me. Becuase it is paint ball, I do not die but just feel the pain, lots of pain.

These shots represent many things to me. One painful shot represents my husband'ls lack of surrender to Jesus. Another shot represents my children standing between my life for Christ and my husband's life for the world. Other shots epitomize frustration, loneliness, weakness, and fear. When I find myself overwhelmed with pain, I fall helplessly to my knees - and this is not always an easy thing for me to do. Let's pray:

My Lord my God my help in time of need. I want to pray for each and every woman who is experiencing and will experience the pain that comes with being married to an unbeliever. You know our hearts and you know what we face each day. I pray that you give us wisdom and courage as we step into the flames that remove the debree of the world. Make us the strong, humble, and wise women you intend us to be. Thank you for these women whom you hand picked to be the light in their homes. In Jesus name I pray - Amen!

Bringing our Weakness to Jesus

"Babies come out naked," I explained to my young daughter, years ago. She was upset that there was a picture of her stark naked right after birth, and embarrassed that her friends were oohing and ahhing over how adorable her picture was.

In the same way, if we are new to homeschooling we may find ourselves the subject of scrutiny and feel embarrassed over our newness to it all. Maybe, like my daughter, we feel a little exposed.

I want to reassure you that I have never met a homeschool mom that feels like she has it all together. Most of us feel like others are evaluating us when, in fact, they are not. The truth is, we are our own worst critics. 

Out of the Womb, into the World

 A baby is snug as a bug in a rug inside Momma. She has everything she needs: food, oxygen, and the sound of Mom's heartbeat. Labor pains begin and baby is smashed down finally forced to leave the warm, dark, comfortable swimming pool (womb) and enter the frightening world of light and noise and activity, bombard a new little one seconds after birth.

After the long trip down and out of the birth canal, baby is exhausted. His safe world is shattered and replaced with a new one that takes time to get used to and understand. It is no wonder babies cry and fuss.

Get Ready To Move!

 

A few days ago, I found myself not finding the strength to endure yet one more difficulty. Though I was certain that unanswered prayers were the culprit to my lack of strength, the more I thought about it, the more I was determined to find out if it was the real reason behind it. Perhaps God was trying to tell me something more.

I began to engage in prayer and study of God’s word and the spirit prompted me to visit Joshua chapter one. This was a very familiar passage for me, so naturally, I assumed understanding the story and how it applied to me would be a piece of cake. But, something happened and the Lord gave me an even clearer understanding of the story than ever before. His revelation illuminated inside of me. Listen, God said in Joshua, Get your provisions ready. Three days from now you will cross the Jordan here to go in and take possession of the land the LORD your God is giving you for your own.’”

The answer for me was immediate and the same: Get ready to move.

Oklahoma had one of the worst snow blizzards this year. Meteorologists had been warning of it in advance. Like all Oklahomans (including myself), preparations were in order. The point was to get enough food and water to hold us for a few days or until the storm passed. Unfortunately the "hold over" plan was longer than predicted. The snow had reached the one foot level and wind chills were at twelve degrees below 0. This was severe -- even for Oklahoma. Emergency medical responders urged everyone to stay inside because of the dangerous road conditions.

Now, my family and I were stuck inside. And I wasn't sure I liked it. Not having the freedom to do what I wanted when I wanted was very restrictive. I really wanted out!

Where to Invest Your Money - Part I

God provides financial surplus so that we can save for the future, give to the needy around us and invest. The purpose of investing money is to grow your money or to produce an income. But, if we decide to invest our money, where should we allocate it?

Invest in the Kingdom of God

We are told by Jesus to seek first the Kingdom of God (Matthew 6:33) and that where we place our treasure reveals where our heart is too (Matthew 6:31). Since we should not serve money as a master, or seek to grow rich (I Timothy 6:10), but we can use money to serve the Lord by investing in the Kingdom of God: supporting missionaries, tithing to our local church, giving to the poor in Jesus' Name, supporting Christian ministries, and blessing Crisis Pregnancy Centers. These are all ways we can invest in the Kingdom of God.

When my husband, Mike was a young man planning to go to seminary to answer the call of God on his life, an older man invested in the Kingdom of God by investing in Mike. He gave him a sales job with a generous base pay and commission. This money paid tuition at seminary; the beginning of a lifetime of ministry. Not only was this man investing in the Kingdom of God, he was investing in my husband's dreams!

Invest in Your Dreams

We invested in my husband's dreams too. Before we had children, we both worked. But, Mike and I lived off of his income and saved mine. We put the money in savings, along with the extra money Mike earned, to use during our seminary years. We could have lived extravagantly during those early years of marriage, but instead we were very frugal so that we could invest in Mike's dream.

God puts dreams into our hearts. Invest in making those dreams come true. Do you have a dream to paint? Invest in painting lessons. Is it your ambition to write a book? Invest in software to help with the layout. Is your dream to fly a plane? Even though flying lessons are expensive, you can put a little aside each month until you have the money to invest in your aviation dream. We can invest in our dreams!

What's in a Name

My nine year-old son, Jordyn, loves the Lord in a way that is so innocent, pure and genuine. I truly can understand why Jesus tells us to come to him as a child. Jordyn and I were talking one day and he told me he couldn't wait to ask God what his name was. He imagined something like Bob. There's no doubt in my mind that God smiled at that one. This blessed me because one of my concerns is the non-Christian influence my husband has on our children. It's moments like this that lets me know God is in control.

Who I Am

As woman, I have many roles. To my husband I am a wife. To my children I am a mom To my nephews, I'm an aunt. To my parents, I'm a daughter. To my siblings, I'm a sister. To my grand children, I'm a  grand-mother, To my step-children, I'm step-mother and to my husband's siblings, I'm a sister-in-law.

All the people in my life, know me in different roles. Often times we see God in one role. Though He is one, He has many characteristics. As I'm one woman created in the image of God, I have different characteristics. I've learned that knowing the names of God helps me understanding His differerent characteristics. It reaffirms that He is everything to me.

Where our husbands fall short, God is there. Where our husbands lack understanding of our many emotional needs, God understands. When our husbands drive us crazy, God drives us back to where we belong. Let's explore His many names and what they mean to us.

God First

At the beginning of each year it seems that I have a list of things that I set out to accomplish. On the top of my list is the desire to be a better wife. Maybe I need to be more understanding to why my husband refuses to accept Christ as his Savior. Maybe I need to be more submissive. Or maybe I should relax a bit on my want for him to be the Spiritual leader of our home.

Another item on my list is to be a better mother. Maybe I push them too hard when they want to stay home from church. Maybe I need to stop giving them lectures on the principles of God. Maybe I need to stop telling them that I am a woman who fears God and I would not be doing His will if I didn't tell them the truth of God's Word. Maybe I should just keep God all to myself and just not say anything about Him. NOT! I don't think so!

KNOW HIM

The only thing that is going on my list this year is God and God alone. I want to get to know Him. I am going to put Him first everyday. That is my New Year resolution. And when I get overly concerned about this world's worries and begin to sink in the water - I am going to shake the dust off my feet and press into the Word.

"I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better" (Ephesians 1:16-17, NIV).

Marriage is About the Heart

My marriage relationship was so bewildering and out-of-control, that in my effort to give up one night --since I was done with trying to make it work -- I threw my hands into the air in surrender. But, guess what happened next? My wedding ring came off! After that, a conversation with myself followed in which I kept asking: "Why do I keep going around this mountain?"

At the end of my "conversation," and after I had collected my thoughts (and ring), I realized that my actions did not change a thing. My ring being off didn't suddenly not make me married! Seeking God for clarity was the only way to find the answer I needed and He reminded me that marriage is about what is in my heart and not what is on my finger.

How many times have we women judged another woman's marriage by her wedding ring? How many times have we pre-judged and concluded that her marriage must be blissful because of the ring?

"You are the ones who justify yourselves in the sight of men but God knows your heart. What is highly valued among men is detestable in God's sight" (Luke 16:15, KJV).

I had placed great emphasis on the wedding ring, but had forgotten about the symbolism behind it. The ring is only a symbol of a covenant union between a man and a woman. But the marriage, the part that stands the tests of time, has to be in your heart.

Promises of God

". . .You know with all your heart and soul that not one of all the good promises of the Lord your God gave you has failed. Every promise has been fulfilled; not one has failed" (Joshua 23:14 NIV).

PROMISES OF JOY

"Sing the praises of the Lord, you his faithful people; praise his holy name. For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning"
(Psalm 30:4-5 NIV).

There are times when it seems like the joy of the Lord is handed out to everyone else but me. I know joy is real because I have and do experience it many times. I'm so glad that joy isn't a feeling. Although it feels great! Happiness is a feeling. But happiness lasts but for a moment compared to the eternal existance of joy. 

Don't get me wrong. There's nothing wrong with being happy. I like being happy. But the promise of eternal joy brings a quiet peace to my heart. When I am sad or having a tough day, I know that I can still have the the joy of Jesus in my heart. I pray that if you haven't experienced the richness of joy that you allow the Spirit of God to pour the joy of the Lord all over you.

It is Up to Us!

Have you ever felt so overwhelmed with your problems that these challenges caused you to really pray? Not just a ten or fifteen minute prayer, but a prayer that caused you to lie on your face and cry out to God like blind Bartimeaus? Just the other day, the grips of the enemy weighed heavy on me in my relationsip with my husband: I was completely inundated with fear. My thoughts began to race; I was teetering on losing control of my emotions.

To get a handle on the situation, the only things I could do was pray: because my life depended on it! As the spirit of God came in to me, He spoke about the man at the pool of Bethesda. This man waited to get in to be healed, yet, he never got in! He blamed others for this; that they beat him to the water first. The truth was that he chose to revel in pity, rather than truly seek or act on the help.

Being familiar with the story, the message spoke to me. It was as if the story was about me, and I heard God say: "It is up to You." Just like the old saying "you can lead a horse to the water, but you cannot make them drink it," I too fell prey to this statement. Just like the man at the pool, God would give me a word for my marriage but I would just sit - and not act in faith. I would make excuses and say that it was my husband's fault that things were so bad.

Today

God healed my heart in places I never thought would be healed. I am so greatful that God reached out to  me and brought me to where I am today. God prepares my every tomorrow. He is already there. Sometimes I think too much about tomorrow and before I know it, today has passed. I didn't even stop to smell the roses. I'm no where near perfect and may not have a perfect family but I have a perfect God. So as each day comes, I will do my best to embrace what God has in it for me. Embracing each day in Him is found in His Word.

Today I will submit my husband to God.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil" (Proverbs 3:5-7, NIV).

Today I will cry unto the Lord and then I will praise God. It's so easy to fall into depression if I don't catch myself and give my woes to God. I often ask myself why things don't change like I think they should. Then I am reminded of how David cried out to God. God was there for David and he is here for us. How great is that!

"To you, Lord, I call; you are my Rock, do not turn a deaf ear to me. For if you remain silent, I will be like those who go down to the pit. Hear my cry for mercy as I call to you for help, as I lift up my hands toward your Most Holy Place," (Psalm 28:1-2).

"He'll Meet You at Your Point of Need"

Walking with God is not always easy when the same trouble continually bubbles to the surface. I often feel like the children of Isreal whowandered aimlessly in the wilderness for 40 years when they didn't need to.

My marriage is far from perfect; it is in the restoration process. I'm tired and, honestly, I think enough is enough, so I began praying for strength because my marriage was facing divorce again. However, other circumstances forced me to pause. As I shifted from thoughts of divorce and back to God, he reminded me of the story of the Samarian woman at the well from whom he accepted a drink of water (John 4:1-42). That was not what I asked for, but I remained attentive despite my confusion. Somewhere along this crooked path I was walking again I asked, "What would Jesus do?" In the final analysis, the answer to my question was, he will meet you at the point of your need just like he did the woman at the well (vs 27).

I did not think Jesus was listening to me. I asked him to give me strength and he gave me the story about some woman at a well. Anyhow, my thoughts of divorce were due to the fact that my husband stepped out of our marriage had once again engaged in marital infidelity.

In the midst of it all, God began to chastise him. "For whom the Lord loveth, he chastiseth Hebrews" 12:6 (KJV).

The Lord did not let my husband continue in his escapades because he injured himself and was bedridden for three weeks. The Lord finally got my husband's attention. He got his attention, and now I was there to come to come to his rescue. I saw God intervening in my husband's life, but what about me. His actions were not honorable, but  I wondered if God was paying any attention to me.

Have you ever wanted to cast off your marriage, but God said to help your husband? Despite my husband's fragile physical state requiring help, my flesh was screaming 'no' when God asked me to assisit him. As far as my flesh was concerned, enough was enough and I wanted out!

I later read the story of the woman at the well and began to see my husband as Jesus saw him. He was suffering from isolation, rejection, fear and unforgiveness. This was not easy, but to do what Jesus commanded me to do, I have to ask, what would Jesus do? Overlooking my husband's actions is taking time, but I still have to be obedient to God.

The woman at the well lived a bad life, she was married to several men and nobody would talk to her. So she came to draw water at night. Jesus was there and met her at her point of need. He did not wait for her to ask, he requested water from her.

Jesus is standing at the well of your heart today. What is it that you can give him? He wants to meet you at the point of your need. He is waiting to accept your response. What you do for your husband to help meet his need, God will do the same for you. In the natural, you may look like a fool to your family, firends and loved ones. But Jesus looked like a fool for us over two thousand years ago.

"As I binded up his wounds, he was moved with compassion Luke 10:34" (KJV)

Ultimately, my husband saw God through me. God was tranforming him on the inside. True forgiveness and love started to come alive in his life.

My marriage has been no walk in the park and my husband and I are on different levels spiritually. But, despite the fact I'm further along than him, God needed me to examine my own spiritual walk.

God will test you as wives to see if you are really striving for oneness in your marriage. It does not feel good all the time, but it is working out for your good. Pass the test by being obedient.

This test to meet my husband at his point of need required me to subdue my flesh and trust God like I never had before. It is not easy to be nice when someone is snapping at you. As I trust God to take  care of my husband's physical needs, I believe that God will take care of his spiritual needs. So what about you, are you willing to meet your husband at his point of need?

What Would Jesus Do?

Growing Apart

The more I get to know God, the more it feels like I don't know my husband. This makes me sad ... and sometimes mad! While I want to enjoy growing old with him, a good part of me wonders if it is worth wanting. It would be so much easier to leave things the way they are and not work at it. So, why does it take so much work to make it work?

My husband and I should be at a place in our lives where we know each other like a book and like looking at our past to laugh at the silly mistakes we've made. But instead, we are at a turning point in our relationship where having a tooth pulled without Novocain is more inviting than a conversation over dinner. 

This is when the only thing I can do is ask myself: What would Jesus do? Jesus would listen more. Though I may not want to hear what my husband always has to say, I can be a better listener.

Focusing on Jesus

The more I learn about Jesus, the more I want to know Him better. When I seek and find Him, it is as if all the things in my life become filtered through His vision because my focus is pointed towards Christ and His love. It can't help but improve my mindset over any problem in life.

Since you are reading this, I can only assume that you are as concerned for your husband's soul as I am for mine. It is not easy being married to an unbeliever, and loneliness seems to knock constantly on my emotional door. Let me encourage you today to press in and make Jesus your best friend especially when your husband can't fill that need. Here are some simple ways to focus on Jesus.                 

Study

While it's great to hear about who Jesus is from church, the radio and television, the best way to get to know Him is through the Word of God. By studying His manual for our lives, we spend quality time with Him that ultimately, fills any hole of loneliness we might have.

I am sharing this with you because I too have to be careful not to substitute my Jesus time with things that only make the loneliness hole grow larger.

Learn to Trust God

Have you ever reached a point in your marriage when things were regularly inconsistent between you and your spouse? It's as if no one is on the same page. I've been there and it seemed an eternity that my husband and I grappled with an area in our marriage: his reluctance to come home at a decent hour. But, trying everything in my strength to deal with his negative behavior failed and things looked hopeless.

At my wits end, I fell on my face and cried out to God for help. Immediately, God's presence cradled me, and he etched these words in my spirit: Do not argue with him, but let your behavior speak instead.

Striving for oneness in your marriage is no walk in the park. Especially when you feel like the weight of maintaining peace weighs heavy on your shoulders. The struggle in my marriage seemed to throw me into an exhausting game of tug of war. The problem was that the rope had unraveled in the middle leaving my husband and me on separate ends.

Looking For Love

 

It's important for me to feel loved and appreciated. When I don't feel that I'm getting love from my family I tend to feel sorry for myself. This causes me to be easily frustrated and not so pleasant to be around. I begin to focus on me and what my needs are. I focus on all the things I do for everyone and the things that are not being done for me. I find myself depending on the love of my family and not relying solely on the love of God. This is a dangerous place for me to be and I need to just stop and give God control. I need to get back to the basics and re-evaluate my priorities.

I need to remember that God is my source of love. He is love. When my eyes begin to drift in other places for love and attention its during those times when I'm experiencing a dry spell in my walk with Him. God's love is there but I don't feel it. God didn't move - I moved.

"The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing" Zephaniah 3:17 (NIV).

 

OUTSIDE THE BOX

Being the woman God has me to be inside my home is one thing. Being the woman God wants me to be outside my home is another. Frustration began to overcome me as I have striven to be the spiritual leader in the home. My desire for my  husband to take on this role had consumed me. It seemed as though my prayers were falling on deaf ears. I then felt that God was leading me to step outside the box. This would mean that I would have to step outside my comfort zone.

Standing on His Word

 
 

When I sat down today to write this article, this is what I wanted to say: Hello ladies! I hope you are having a wonderful time with your husband as I am with mine. He is so loving and thoughtful and sweet I just can't stand it.

But here is what I sit and write: Hello ladies. Please keep me in your prayers this week because I JUST CAN'T STAND IT! I just served him dinner and -- would it hurt to say thank you?

It's times like these that make me wonder how in the world can I serve him as unto the Lord. How in the world can I think I can encourage other ladies when I find it hard to be loving to my own husband. If there is anyone who knows the pain and anguish some of you ladies are going through - it's me. Lets go to scripture because I know I need some Holy Ghost guidance right now.

"But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint" (Isaiah 40:31 NIV).

Never Stop Praying

  I recently faced some trying times. It felt like I was walking in the dark trying to find my way. Despite growing weary and contemplating giving up, somehow, God provided the right sermon and/or song just for me. Coupled together, they provided great strength. After a few days, my strength was restored, and all things were made new. I'm convinced that these provisions from God, plus the power of prayer got me through my rough spot. 

 How many times have you heard, Prayer is the key? Do you wave it off or believed it to be true?

So often we hear the Word of God tout prayer, but sometimes we don't think it applies to us until we need desparately need it. We make sure we pack prayer in our back pockets, or store it on our book shelves, but pull it out only when we think we need it. But God commands us to pray all the time, not when it's convenient. Our prayer life should be consistent, effectual, and fervent.

Stay in Position - Part 2

As discussed in my last post, staying in position is not easy. However, as God speaks we all need to examine our lives at some point. Marriage has become the catalyst that helps me examine my life, and recently God  illuminated several areas of my life that still need polishing.

As God often does for his saints, he led me to a place in the Bible he knew would equip me: Proverbs 31. This section of Scripture is famous for helping women live holy and acceptable lives as wives and mothers. I soaked up the passage like a sponge, as God spoke to me with each word. As only our great God can do, he was reminding me how to stay in position. 

I was a little surprised when my spirit felt the prompting to revisit a personal study in this section of Proverbs I did several months ago. At the time, I did not think much of it, but I took notes and thanked God for the revelation I received from my studies. But God was not done with that specific material, and he urged me to continue reviewing. I thought I had learned all there was to learn with that lesson, but I was wrong. I had not completed the journey, and God was using this old material as a road map to help me stay in position.

Thy Will Be Done

Comfort in Him

I'd like to think that I am a strong woman of God who can withstand even the toughest storms. I'd like to think that because I  have Christ dwelling in my heart - my heart will never be broken.

I'd like to think that my husband is just around the corner to becoming that man of God I have conditioned myself to want so badly. I'd like to think that I can handle it if he does not become that man. I know that only God can determine where that "corner" for my husband is.

I also know that God gives me the strength I need when I feel I can't go on. I know that as I seek His face diligently, daily with all my heart and mind, I know that I will be comforted by the Holy Spirit. When I am weak, He is my strength. When my heart breaks, He heals my broken heart.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of god, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Phillippians 4:6,7 NIV).

 

Thy Will Be Done

There are times when being in the will of God seems effortless. God opens a door and in I walk. Yes Lord! Here am I! Those are the times when a praise song is always playing in my heart. Someone needs help at a church event? Sure! I'm there! Serving my family their favorite dinner? The loving smiles and compliments on a great meal makes me enjoy the clean up. And getting that pat on the back at work - can't wait to get up the next day and do it all over again. 

Stay in Position

I was talking with my husband about a conversation he had at work. He said that it got so involved that he and the other person had to pull out the Bible. I thought that was a good thing! Bible study on the job is awesome and what a great opportunity to share Christ.  However, as my husband continued, he mentioned that the discussion centered on Adam and Eve and the events leading up the fall of man.

He began asking me questions that really got me to thinking. We opened the Bible and together began seeking answers. Some were obvious and others were not. Nevertheless, I noticed something that gave birth to this article. In Genesis 3:1-7, there is an account of Eve having a conversation with the serpent at the tree. As I read that over again, I considered that as women, we must stay in our position.

Since the beginning of time, many have debated who was at fault for man's downfall. Despite a biblical account, the debate continues. I concluded that both were at fault. Eve, however for a different reason. Scripture implies that she was at the tree talking with the serpent. I immediately thought: Why was Eve at the tree? Why was she not fulfilling her duties as wife and mother? Could it be that she had too much free time to be conversing with the enemy? (An idol mind is the devil's workshop.)

Striving for Oneness

A few days ago I took time to reflect on my marriage; the good and the bad. This helped me realize that God is with me and present in my marriage. Another revelation struck me: a good marriage is doable, but only if one desires mediocrity. But, an excellent marriage is obtainable with effort and sacrifice. So, what do we want? . . . good or excellent.

My marriage is no where near perfect, and there have been times it felt like I was riding a never-ending roller coaster and holding on for dear life. My marriage, and maybe yours, has bounced over many bumps and endured a lot of bruises. But as God gives me strength, and I continue to strive for oneness.

Achieving anything worthwhile in life is not easy. As women, we are always looking to lose those last five pounds, but find it hard to run that extra mile every week. We want to save money, but find ourselves in the mall because some store entices us with a huge, one-of-a-kind sale.

There is always something keeping us from reaching our desired goals. Being married is no different. At times, we've all struggled to create a great marriage, but the enemy lurks and seeks to destroy what we are trying to build.

The Grass Is Not Always Greener

A few weeks ago, my husband and I began planning our family vacation. We discussed several fun places to visit. After contemplating for a week, we agreed to return to our hometown. As part of our plans, we scheduled activities for the family, for kids, and for adults only.

We booked reservations at a hotel we like and mapped out some of our favorite restaurants. Things were falling into place and the dayof our departure was rapidly approaching; we were ready to enjoy time with our friends and family back home.

However, the day before we were to leave, my excited anticipation was usurped by sadness, misunderstanding, and anger. As our departure approached, little bothersome things opened the door for the devil to manipulate me. Thankfully in my quiet time, God allowed me to see that the grass is not always greener on the other side. If I water mine, it will be green too.

Pray for Your Husband

Several weeks ago, I was driving home on a long, curvy road that was as boring as a physics lecture oozing from the lips of monotone college professor. I began talking with God because it always helps time pass. During this time of communing, He spoke to me using a terrible tornado that had passed through my town a few days ago as His starting point.

The sight of uprooted trees and damaged homes startled me as I navigated the winding road through the countryside. Debris was strewn in yards, fences were broken in half, and several houses stood apart from their foundations. In the midst of all this devastation God spoke to me about my marriage. He reminded me of the terrible storm that blew through my relationship.

The strong gusty winds of fear, anger and depression uprooted the covenant I shared with my husband. Like the houses separated from their foundations, my spouse and I experienced a similar disconnect. God showed me that sometimes things need to be torn down so that they can be rebuilt. It was part of His plan to use my pain to make our marital foundation stronger than before. The next step He required as part of the process required me to build a foundation by praying for my husband.

Rest

Grappling with the idea of being a stay at home mom has been perplexing. The more I attempted to  humanly understand, the more I became confused. Due to the confusion, I began to seek God on a consistent basis. season. At that point, I gave all my concerns, issues and questions over to God.

My seeking could be compared to a leaking faucet. Nonetheless, I discovered that that confusion was my fault. I simply failed to ask God what is it that He would have me to do.  In return God put it on my heart to rest. 

My finite understanding of rest was certainly eye raising. Not clear on the task,God began to illustrate. Not long ago, I was in a spiritual battle. The battle manifested through the form of adultery. The enemy pounced in and wounded me. Almost, to the point of death. My ignorance to the severity wounds, forced me to bandaged them and continue life as normal. "My people perish because of a lack of knowledge" (Hosea 4:6, KJV).

Unfortunately we as women and wives alike facade the issue of infidelity. We try to hold everything  together for the sake of appearance. We bottle up our emotions and believe for the best. We even downplay or even ignore the issue hoping the problem will work itself out. God is not in the business of leaving us in a state of chaos. "He heals the broken hearted and bounds up their wounds" (Psalms 147:3, KJV). 

Log in My Eyes

 

The other day I decided to let my husband know "how I really felt." I thought he wanted to know when he asked me, "Honey, what's wrong?" I think you know where I went with this. To me, it was an opportunity to let him know what he was doing wrong in our marriage.

I thought he wanted to know how things in the past still bothered me. I thought he wanted me to tell him how he was supposed to fix my broken heart. I was on a roll that just kept on rolling. I had my finger moving in the shape of a "Z" and my neck was shifting my head from side to side. I had it going on girl! So I thought.

When I looked in the mirror of my heart I couldn't see my eyes! Why? Because not only did I have one log in one eye, I had a log in both my eyes!

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? Luke 6:41 (NIV)

Transition to Submission

My family and I recently moved to a new state that provided many adjustments. I was not to worried because change is usually good.The opportunity to meet new people, experience a more frigid climate, and walk a different career path was exciting for me. Days and months passed while my enthusiasm slowly fizzled. All that I looked forward to and dreamed about was not happening. I was unemployed and at home. Oh no, this must be a mistake. I am an educated professional with two degrees. I kept rehearsing this apparent mistake on the stage of my mind.Then after several weeks of denial, I finally accepted who I really was. A wife and mother who was in transition to submission.

During this time I heard an old cliche, "If you want to make God laugh tell him your plans". I had no doubt that I would be employed once I settled in my new state; that literally was my main focus. So to accomplish this goal, I completed several online employment applications. I also applied for jobs in person. For eight weeks I frequented the post office and pounded the pavement mailing and submitting applications! By the ninth week, I became discouraged as I danced a dance that did not yield any results. So, I decided to put my energy elsewhere.

Un-Forgiveness

It was a clear cool day. The kind that makes you want to take that long walk that you've been putting off. So - I'm feeling pretty good about myself and can feel God smiling down on me. I ask Him to search my heart and show me what I need to work on.

Unforgiveness. Lord? Did you just tell me I have unforgiveness in my heart? I am a praying woman of God. I ask for forgiveness more often than not. There was something hidden in the corner of my heart. Something I chose not to deal with. Something that I needed to hand over to God.

As I searched my heart I realized that I had been harboring a deep anger toward my husband and I didn't know what to do about it. I did what came easy to me - I ignored it. When it finally came to surface, I had to make a choice. Either it was going to control me or I would allow God to help me control it. I asked God to show me how to deal with this and I am going to share it with you.

Get Out of the Box

I was talking with a relative about attending an event when it took a turn for the worse. A million and one reasons of why I could not attend dominated the conversation. The reasons played like a broken record. The, as if struck by like bolt of lightning, my mind immediately shifted and I was reminded of how God sometimes prompts us to move from a place of comfort to the less secure. His sweet spirit in the still of that morning compelled me to step out of the box.

Transition is not always easy, however, it is required to be women of God. My marriage, which has been no bed of roses, has taught me much about transition and stepping out of my box. Thankfully we serve a God that provides the much needed grace and mercy we need to live each day anew and endure the trials that ultimately make us wiser and stronger.

Master Tune Up

From time to time I need to take our car in for a tune up. A basic tune up consists of changing the air and fuel filters, spark plugs, timing belts, and valves. In the same way, from time to time I need a tune up in my heart and spirit.

Living a Christian life with an unsaved spouse can put my spiritual engine into overdrive. I become weary as anger and bitterness creep into my heart. It becomes difficult to be pleasant and my patience runs low. It's during these times that I realize I need a MASTER TUNE UP in my heart.

Love Is...

You may remember the "Love is" comic strips that would appear in the Sunday paper. It was about a cartoon couple that clearly loved each other. The comic strip expressed love with clever notes like "Love is ... not asking her how much her new dress cost" or "Love is ... what causes you to loose your concentration".

I always looked forward to reading those comic strips. It became part of my fantasy relationship with my future husband. However, Love is much more than a cartoon comic strip. In my search for true love, I am thankful I found Jesus. Through Him I discovered real love.

Love is...God. God is love. He is the essence of what love is. If we have God in our hearts, we have love in our hearts and we can rely on His love. And it's God's love that can be the strength in your unequal marriage.

God's Grace is Sufficient

Have you ever experienced a season when your faith crumbled like cake? A few weeks ago, I did. I thought the pain of past infidelity ended years ago. Unfortunately, the dangerous thoughts of divorce resurfaced. For example, my mind whispered to my heart, He doesn't deserve you, and, Move on; let him go.

These thoughts raced through my mind in a never ending contest between my flesh and my spirit. I was overwhelmed, and succumbed to the flesh. I isolated myself and rejected my husband; the pressure was unbearable. I began to pray and share my problems with my heavenly Daddy who, in time, showed me that His grace was (and always will be) sufficient.

Years ago, God led me to stay with my husband; and I did! Unfortunately, years later the suggestion of divorce crept back into my life. In my finite wisdom, I tried to ignore it. However, despite my best efforts, those thoughts tormented me. I contemplated divorce, and that allowed the spirit of pride to grab control of my life. The more Pride spoke, the more I listened. As I let this dangerous voice grow, I wallowed in my flesh and began to look at my husband with contempt and disgust. My desire to be with him faded away, and I avoided him at all cost. When I couldn't avoid him, I gave him the cold shoulder. All the time, the battle of leaving or staying raged in my mind. The enemy had a hold on me and was about to win the battle.

Walking With Jesus

Being married to an unbeliever sometimes places me on the battlefield of emotions. These emotions include fear, sadness, anger, and loneliness. But when I turn to God and seek His face, the love of Jesus  always brings comfort to my heart. Sometimes I make things too complicated in my walk with Christ when all He wants me to do is just that - walk with Him. Ladies, I want to tell you today that Jesus loves you and desires to walk with you through each moment of your days. Matthew 11:29 tells us the following:

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. (Matthew 11:29 NIV)

He hears your prayers, cries, and praises. When you are silent, He knows exactly what your heart is saying. That's the wonderful thing about serving God...He takes care of us even when we just don't seem to have the strength to carry on.

Lead us Not

Lead Us Not - Into Temptation

Temptation is all around us. It has no boundaries and could care less of your Christian morality. As a Christian woman, to be living a clean and moral life means a lot to me. As I glance from time to time into my past, I am so grateful as to where I now stand. But am I safe from the cold deceitful grips of temptations? Unfortunately not. Being lonely and sad in a marriage that seems to be going absolutely nowhere gives the enemy ammunition to put my attention on my longing to be loved, wanted and needed. I want to talk about this with you just in case I am not alone in this struggle - in this battle -  in the valley.

"And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one" (Matthew 6:13 NIV).

God did not put this in His Word for no reason. He put it there because He knows the nature of man. He knows that we will be faced with many forms of temptations so as to cause us to fall away from His grace. Before we go on, let's pray.

When Relationships Must End

There aren't many times in our lives when saying goodbye is easy and without regret. I suppose if you were being released from the care of your radiation oncologist it may be a bit easier in regards to the regret, but even that goodbye would not be without it's significance. You would be moving on in better health, but the connection you would have forged with that doctor results in a bond that remains even after the farewell's are over. We call that a bittersweet parting; sweet for the promises of a new chapter in your life, yet bitter for loss of regular contact with someone who has become an intimate part of your life.

Bittersweet is how I would describe this, my last post here at Take Root and Write. The changes in my life which prompt my departure from TRW are exciting ones and full of the sweetness of the Lord. Yet, there is also that bitter side which requires me to say goodbye to an intimate chapter in my life, the Exploring Relationships column at Take Root and Write.

It has been an honor and a pleasure to share some of my thoughts with you this past year. May God continue to bless your relationships with each other as you continue to honor Him with them.